


Comment!Fic

by f0rcryin0utl0ud



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cheating, Crack, Crossover, Drama, Episode Tag, Established Relationship, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Humor, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kink, M/M, Multi, PWP without Porn, Public Sex, Ritual Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Fantasy, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:22:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 81
Words: 55,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22344070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/f0rcryin0utl0ud/pseuds/f0rcryin0utl0ud
Summary: These are a series of comment fic that I wrote over the course of my years in the Stargate Atlantis fandom but never got around to posting here. They vary in ratings and pairings. Some are happy, some are horribly depressing, some are complete and utter crack. You have been warned. ;)
Relationships: Carson Beckett/Jeannie Miller, Carson Beckett/Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, Daniel Jackson/Rodney McKay, Evan Lorne/Parrish, John Sheppard/OFC, Malcolm Reynolds/Simon Tam, Rod McKay/Alternate John Sheppard, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard, Ronon Dex/John Sheppard, Vala Mal Doran/Rodney McKay
Comments: 7
Kudos: 15





	1. Once Bitten

**Author's Note:**

> Most of these are unbeta'ed - and some were written before characters were given actual first names, so if the first names are different than what they are on the show, that is why. ;)

The first time it happened Rodney forgave him, willingly pretended like everything was fine, even as his head was screaming to leave, to leave before there could be a next time.

John was everything Rodney had fantasized about, everything he'd wanted, and...nothing like he'd wanted at all.

He was charming, snarky, smart, hot...

He cheated.

It seemed funny when Rodney thought about it. A cheating lover was something he'd always said he wouldn't stand for...was something he'd _never_ stood for until John came along.

A pretty brunette, or perky blonde, would toss a look Sheppard's way and he'd be off. But Rodney had thought once they'd gotten together that would stop; had naively believed that what they had was more than just a buddy fuck.

The second and last time it happened, Rodney smirked, eyebrow raised as John scrambled to cover himself, ignoring the bimbo beside him. She was beautiful, of course. Long dark, curly hair, stunning green eyes, mocha skin. A woman. Everything Rodney wasn't. Everything John apparently couldn't say no to.

Crossing his arms over his chest, pretending his heart wasn't being ripped into a thousand pieces; he tilted his head, "Well..._this_ isn't a surprise," and was proud his voice didn't shake. John's eyes were pleading and Rodney snorted because it wasn't a good look on him. When John shifted, made to slip from the bed, Rodney held up his hand, eyes hard. "Don't get up. I'll contact Elizabeth for the scheduled check-in."

He spun on his heel and walked back towards the room he was supposed to be sharing with John ignoring the broken '_Rodney_' whispered behind him.


	2. What is Lost to Silence

Rodney uses some of his accumulated wealth to buy himself a largish house, beachfront property with a perfect ocean view, the water and the sound of the waves both comforting and painful as he proceeds to cut himself off from the outside world. 

He can't return to his former life, refuses to spend his time surrounded by idiots that know nothing about him, working on whatever trinkets the SGC decide to send his way while keeping all the best technology for their own scientists. He can't just roll over and pretend like the loss of Atlantis isn't killing him slowly; that the loss of the people who had become his surrogate family isn't so overwhelming he feels like he's suffocating. And he refuses to watch Sheppard, or the shell that's left of him, going through the motions at the SGC in the hopes of hearing something, anything about Atlantis--still clinging to the hope that the Ancients will one day let them return.

Rodney isn't naive enough to believe in happily ever after, can't let himself hope for a happy ending that is never going to come. So he spends his days, sitting under his patio's oversized canopy, watching the sun setting over the water, watching the waves rolling in and remembering the sound of an ocean a galaxy away lapping against a 10,000 year old city.

Carson and Radek, Elizabeth and a few others attempt to keep in contact but Rodney takes advantage of his caller ID, avoiding their calls and pretending he doesn't miss them all with every fiber of his being. He'd decided a few days after they'd returned to Earth that it would be easier in the long run if he cut off ties--quick, like tearing off a band-aid. He's still waiting for it to stop hurting.

Sheppard doesn't call, doesn't email, not that Rodney wants or expects him to, not that Rodney cares.

A month after his self-imposed exile he sees a sleek black car slowly trailing down his long driveway, the rising sun's rays reflecting sharply against the tinted windows. He isn't surprised to see air force blues, only surprised it took them this long. The truth is, Rodney knows how invaluable his genius is, and he knows that SGC knows it too. That doesn't mean he's ready to go back, doesn't mean he ever will be, all it means is that Rodney has one more thing to be pissed off about because the idea that they've waited an entire month before groveling for his return is an insult.

But the kid standing before him, looking somber and hollow isn't there to pass on SGC's request for his genius. The letter he hands Rodney is thin and official looking and his stomach rolls when he slips his finger under the flap to tear it open. Captain something or other is still standing there, waiting for Rodney to read the piece of paper in his hands and suddenly Rodney wishes fiercely for his solitude as his hands shake, slowly unfolding the letter.

His eyes skim over the contents and he feels his legs give out, grateful he hadn't stepped away from his chair. The Captain is asking if he's alright and Rodney wants to laugh in his face because of course he's not alright. How could he be alright? Rodney swallows thickly, standing on shaky legs as he makes his way into the house to throw some stuff in a bag. He tells the kid to give him a few minutes and doesn't wait for a response.

Inside, behind closed doors, Rodney breathes deeply, focusing on the bag in front of him, on the clothes he's tossing inside--better bring his black suit--shutting the bag swallowing past the growing tightness in his throat, the tightness in his chest...

The flight to Colorado is silent, Rodney's eyes never leaving the clouds outside his window. The Captain sits beside him, straight and stiff and cold. He doesn't know Rodney, doesn't know that the silence surrounding them is anything other than usual.


	3. Nine Tenths

“I can’t believe she stole my cat!” 

“Rodney, we’ve been gone almost three years and I’m pretty sure you _giving_ her the cat makes the cat hers.” 

Rodney’s eyes narrowed at the man walking beside him. “She didn’t even leave a forwarding address.”

John raised an eyebrow. “So you could...visit?”

Rodney’s head shot around to the left and he hissed, “Did you hear that?”

Senses on alert, John asked, “Hear what?”

“Shhh,” Rodney whispered, making a ‘stopping’ motion with his hand towards John. “It’s coming from the alley.” 

Before John could even think about asking what the hell Rodney was talking about the man in question was halfway down the alley, crouching over something on the ground. John jogged to catch up to him, peering over Rodney’s shoulder. “What are you doing?”

When Rodney stood, his hands were curled protectively around a small furry body. “Someone just left him here.” John looked at Rodney’s face, his eyes never leaving the small kitten in his hands, his voice barely a whisper. “He’ll die if we leave him here.” When Rodney looked up at John the worry and anger over the treatment of the kitten and the hopeful ‘can I keep him’ look in Rodney’s eyes had John smiling, reaching out a finger to stroke over the silky white fur. The kitten was trembling in Rodney’s hands, so small it fit in Rodney’s palms but it butted its head against John’s finger, purring loudly as it soaked up the attention.

“It doesn’t look very old,” John said quietly, worried that perhaps the kitten was too young to be away from its mother, that it might be too small to survive. He didn’t want Rodney to go through the pain of losing another cat—knowing that despite the angry blustering about his neighbor moving away with his last cat, the news had actually hit Rodney very hard. John still remembered the way Rodney had told him about the cat, about his neighbor and about his intentions to retrieve his tabby the moment they returned to Earth while they were curled in the darkness of their shared cabin aboard the Daedelus.

“He’s too young to be taken from his mother,” Rodney agreed, tucking the kitten against his chest, “but Thales was only three weeks old when I found him and he was fine.” Decision made, Rodney began to walk back down the alley towards the street. “We’ll take him to the vet in the morning.”

John followed, a smile on his face, “We?”

Rodney turned and looked over his shoulder. “Of course we—you don’t think I’m raising him on my own, do you?”

Moving to Rodney’s side, John bumped his shoulder, leaning in to place a quick kiss on Rodney’s cheek. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Rodney smiled and the kitten kept on purring.


	4. Baby, It's Cold Outside

“I told you this was a bad idea,” Rodney groused, stomping his boots and dropping the pile of wood beside the fire place. 

“It’s just a little snow Rodney,” John shook his head, pouring hot water into the two mugs sitting on the counter.

“A little snow?” Rodney squawked. “Have you _looked_ out the window lately? I can’t see the car anymore.”

John shrugged, walking towards Rodney and holding out a steaming mug. “So our vacation lasts a couple days longer. Are you really complaining?” 

Rodney huffed out a put upon sigh, hanging his coat up and tossing his hat and gloves into the corner, toeing off his boots as he reached for the mug. He took a sip and scowled. “This isn’t coffee.”

“Its hot chocolate,” John beamed, bouncing a little on his heels. “It’s even better than coffee.”

“Bite your tongue,” Rodney said but he took another gulp, licking the chocolate from his lips. He sank into the soft cushions of the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table. “So what are we supposed to do while we wait for rescue?”

Rolling his eyes John sat beside Rodney, putting his own feet on the coffee table, grinning at the scowl on Rodney’s face as he stared at John’s feet. “You just had to bring them, didn’t you?” 

John wiggled his toes. “They’re _airplanes_ Rodney.” He turned his head smirking. “Besides, Teyla and Ronon gave them to me for Christmas,” he said as if that settled any question about the state of his mind while he wore the bright blue, fuzzy airplane slippers. “Why don’t you put yours on?” he asked innocently.

Rodney narrowed his eyes. “I most certainly will _not_,” he hissed.

“Come on, Rodney,” John wheedled. “Teyla and Ronon put a lot of thought into our presents—the least you could do is wear them.”

“They’re yellow, Sheppard,” Rodney snarled, downing the rest of his hot chocolate. “They are yellow _lemons_,” he clarified before grabbing John’s hot chocolate and pouting beside him hands clutching the mug like a lifeline. “Elizabeth never should have introduced those two to the mall.”

“But then I wouldn’t have airplanes _on my feet_,” John said bending over the arm of the chair and producing Rodney’s slippers. “And you wouldn’t have _these_ babies.” He plopped them on Rodney’s lap. “They’re very sexy,” he said seriously but ruined it by snickering. He soothed Rodney’s death glare with a quick kiss. “Come on, _please_?”

Leaning his head back against the couch and staring at the ceiling Rodney sighed loudly. “One of these days I’m going to learn to say no to you.”

John's face broke into a wide grin and he slipped his feet to the floor, grabbing one of Rodney’s feet and sliding the bright, _neon_ bright yellow lemons onto first one foot then the other. “There,” John said a little too smugly for Rodney’s tastes. “At least now your feet won’t get cold.”

“I have socks,” Rodney said, turning his head to look at John. “I also have a pile of firewood in the corner that I can burn and heat this entire cabin. Not to mention the fact that we actually have—oh what was it called?—oh that’s right, _power_. My feet won’t _get_ cold, John.”

“What if it doesn’t stop snowing?” John pointed out. “We could run out of fire wood, the power could go out, it could get really cold, really fast. Then you’ll be _thankful_ you have your lemon slippers.”

Rodney’s eyes got huge. “Oh my _God_,” he hissed, “Do realize what you’ve just done?” He shoved the empty mug back into John’s hands, throwing his hands up in the air. “You just jinxed us you idiot!”

John snorted. “Rodney, I didn’t jinx us.”

Rodney jumped up from the couch, pointing an accusing finger at John. “When the power goes out, and we run out of fire wood and are buried up to the roof in snow you are climbing out the _chimney_ and getting more because I am _not_ going to freeze to death in this tiny little cabin in the middle of fucking _nowhere_ before I’ve even won my first Nobel because _you_ just had to go and jinx us!”

Shaking his head, John got up from the couch and walked back to the kitchen placing the empty mugs in the sink. He turned around to tease Rodney about being overly dramatic when the lights flickered. Rodney pointed at him again, not saying a word, simply narrowing his eyes. When the power went out completely the only thing Rodney said in the darkness was, “Hah!”

Rodney stomped towards the fireplace, stubbing his toe on the way but the excessive padding of the lemon slippers saved his toe from any real damage. He reached for the matches from memory, snatching them from the mantle and grabbed a couple pieces of firewood. Kneeling, he set about starting a fire, ignoring the movements of John behind him.

When the room was bathed in an orange glow, Rodney turned around to see John sprawled on the couch, legs dangling over the armrest, his head pillowed on his bent arm. He looked positively sinful. 

“You know,” John said casually, the hand not under his head moving to rest on his stomach, “it’s getting a little chilly in here.”

Rodney stood, moving closer to the couch. “I just lit a fire, and we had the heat up before the power went out, it’s hot in here.”

John pursed his lips. “I think you’re right,” he said, pushing himself up and reaching for the hem of his shirt. “It’s _too_ hot.”

Rodney just rolled his eyes, his mouth curling into an indulgent smile. “You’re such a dork,” he said affectionately, skinning out of his own shirt. 

“That’s why you love me,” John quipped, reaching for the button on his fly. Rodney was busy pushing his pants and boxers down over muscled hips to comment but John knew the truth. When Rodney stepped out of the rest of his clothes John looked up at him under lowered lashes, his voice husky as he said, “Leave the slippers on.”


	5. After The Storm

John grinned down at the bandage covering Rodney’s arm, over his jacket. Gently unwrapping it he helped Rodney out of his bloodied coat, and ruined shirt, jaw tightening at the raw, jagged looking cuts on his lover’s arm. “I should have killed him.”

Rodney grimaced. “You shot him.”

“Unfortunately it wasn’t a fatal shot.” John ran gentle fingers over the skin of Rodney’s arm, careful not to touch the cuts. “You need stitches.”

“It can wait.” John knew that Rodney only trusted Carson and sighed, reaching for the bandages from Rodney’s personal first aid kit.

Once Rodney’s arm was bandaged, John helped him out of the rest of his clothes, and then removed his own, sliding into Rodney’s bed behind him, curling an arm around his waist. “I thought he was going to kill us.”

John’s arm tightened. “I wasn’t going to let him,” John whispered against Rodney’s shoulder, cradling Rodney’s injured arm against his chest.

“He almost killed Elizabeth,” Rodney said quietly.

“You saved her,” John answered proudly, pressing a kiss to the nape of Rodney’s neck. Rodney didn’t answer. “When Kolya said he’d killed her…” John pressed his forehead to Rodney’s shoulder. “Do you know what my first thought was?”

Rodney shook his head.

“Thank God it wasn’t you.” Rodney shifted closer, turning his head to meet John’s lips with his own. Now that they were all okay John could breathe easy and Rodney’s eyes still looked so haunted; he threw a leg over Rodney’s hip, grinning against his neck, teasing, “I was kind of looking forward to us ruling Atlantis in Elizabeth’s stead.” 

Rodney snorted, knowing John wasn’t really serious, and rolled to face John, his injured arm resting on John’s side. “What makes you think I’d give you joint rule?” Rodney grinned crookedly.

Leaning in to press a soft kiss to Rodney’s lips John pulled back with an affectionate smile. “Because you love me.”

Pressing John onto his back, Rodney curled against his side. Leaning his forehead against John’s temple, eyes closed, a smile on his lips he whispered, “Yeah, I think I do.”


	6. Hegira

The pain that blossomed in his back wasn't new, hadn't been new for three days now but it still hurt--like a "Son of a bitch!" He screamed until he was hoarse the first day, the second day he cried, today he decided to try swearing. Surprisingly it was somewhat comforting to be able to insult someone so alien from yourself that they paused for a moment in their torture to try and work out what you meant--of course when they couldn't, but still realized it was a slight against them the renewed pain dispelled the comfort just a fraction.

Rodney laughed, spitting the blood from his mouth wondering if they'd managed to loosen any of his teeth. His wrists ached with each movement, his back spasming causing his breath to be stolen from him and he really wished they would just rescue him already.

Three days...didn't seem like very long in the grand scheme of things but his lovely hosts had spent each and every hour inflicting whatever pain they desired to inflict and he couldn't help wondering where the hell his team was. He refused to even think that they might be in three other rooms, just like this one, shackled to the ceiling, pulled so tightly their toes barely touched the floor. Breathing was starting to become a problem and he wondered idly if they'd managed to break his ribs--he'd never had broken ribs before so wasn't exactly sure if the bright burning pain in his side was an indication of broken or just cracked ribs. He supposed it didn't really matter all that much--a few more punches to them and they'd surely be broken.

His catalogue of injuries since coming to the Pegasus galaxy was steadily growing and he couldn't help but think he would have been better off staying home, taking a teaching job at some prestigious university, returning home each night to his cat...alone. 

Despite the injuries he'd sustained in the last year (more than in his entire life before coming to Atlantis) he didn't think he would have done anything differently...well other than not letting himself get caught by these sadistic, "Bastards!" That earned him another backhand and he was thankful when darkness reached for him.

He had no doubts his team would rescue him.

He didn't know how much longer he could last.

They had to come.

He ached everywhere, his arms, his back, his chest, even his damned hair hurt. Cracking one eye opened slightly he grimaced as he took in his now familiar dark and dank surroundings. It must be close to five days now since they’d taken him and as of yet his rescue hadn’t shown up—obviously.

Wrapping a protective arm around his ribs he rolled to his back, not able to stifle the groan of pain the movement caused. Blinking up at the ceiling he silently asked whatever deity was still listening to hurry the fuck up with his rescue because this was seriously not fun.

Biting his lip and holding his breath he managed to push himself up into a seated position, leaning heavily against the damp wall trying desperately not to succumb to the blackness dancing around the edge of his vision—wouldn’t do to pass out again minutes after finally waking up.

What he wouldn’t give for a power bar right about now. Staring at the gruel by the bed he wasn’t sure if it was their idea of food or more torture. It tasted worse than it looked but he knew he needed something to stave off a hypoglycemic reaction and he really doubted they were willing to give him back his pack so he could raid his ‘just-in-case’ stash of MREs. At this point he’d happily eat the gruel without complaint if they would at least give him some god damned Tylenol—course they probably didn’t know what Tylenol was so that was most likely out of the question as well.

He gingerly checked himself over, calling to mind the first aid lecture Carson had insisted they all get before going on off world missions. So far—he was still alive and he supposed that was something.

Hearing voices from the other side of the door he closed his eyes—they were returning sooner than he’d anticipated; he must have been unconscious longer than he’d thought. Gritting his teeth he forced himself to his feet, arms still wrapped around his ribs; he be damned if he’d let them think he was weakening. 

Taking a deep breath he waited…

Light spilled into the room when the door opened, momentarily blinding him. Squeezing his eyes shut he tightened the arm around his midsection. "Play time already?" He tried for sarcastic growl but ended up with little more than pained whisper. When he felt fingers close around his bicep his breath hitched--he couldn't do this anymore. Ignoring the pain everywhere in his body he lashed out, hitting his captor in the face, pleased at the muffled exclamation of pain, at the slickness of blood on his hand.

Eyes adjusting to the light he pushed the body away from him, limping towards the door, determined that he would either escape or die trying but he was not going to stay here another minute enduring their sadistic pleasure. Fuck his team, if they couldn't do something as simple as rescue him, he'd do it himself.

He leaned against the wall as he stumbled down the corridor, ignoring the tears streaming down his face as his movements jarred every injury he'd sustained in the last five days. Heart pounding, head aching, he never once wondered why he wasn't meeting resistance, never once wondered why the man he'd attacked in his cell hadn't followed, hadn't sent up the alarm that he had escaped.

For one fleeting moment he felt a wave of panic; maybe this was all a delusion, maybe he was still trapped in that room, unconscious, dreaming... Pushing on he told himself he didn't care; if this was a delusion it was one he was happy to stay in. 

A large door loomed in front of him and he quickened his steps, reaching a bloodied and bruised arm towards it, stumbling in his urgency to reach it. An arm caught him and he struggled, gasping at the pained contact, crying out at the freedom so close. He couldn't go back, he couldn't.

"_Rodney_," the voice whispered in his ear over and over, hands holding him steady, without malice.

He turned, eyes lighting upon worried hazel ones. Feeling all control on his emotions slipping Rodney collapsed against the man in front of him, crying and shaking with pain, but mostly with relief. "_John_."

"I've got you; I've got you, Rodney." John crooned, hands gently stroking over Rodney's tortured body, careful not to make his injuries worse. "We're taking you home."

Rodney half sobbed, half laughed, "It's about fucking time."


	7. Interlude

He was tall, lithe, with crazy hair and a fuck me stare - Rodney thought he might be in love. As he moved through the wave of people in the crowded bar towards the man standing against the wall silently beckoning to him, Rodney could feel his heart start pounding in time to the music and his cock twitching in anticipation, as he stared at the smirk curling the man's lips- he had a great mouth.

When Rodney was at his side, the man grinned, sticking out his hand and introducing himself as 'John', before leaning closer to Rodney's ear and huskily asking if he wanted to get some air. Mouth suddenly dry, Rodney just nodded, following John towards the exit, eyes straying to the tight jeans and hard ass before him.

The alley was dark and deserted and they didn't bother with small talk. John pulled him closer, lips finding Rodney's as he pressed himself into Rodney's broad chest, hand behind Rodney's head, fingers sliding under Rodney's shirt. Rodney for his part, engulfed John as he wrapped warm arms around him, pressing John harder against the wall before sliding his tongue past John's open lips.

Deft fingers quickly went to work on buttons and zippers and Rodney gasped into John's mouth when cool fingers curled around his aching flesh. He slipped his own hand into John's boxers, his moan sending a thrill of pleasure down Rodney's spine and to his swelling cock.

Soon enough, they found each other's rhythm, swiping over the head, gathering the moisture from the tip before sweeping back down the shaft. A stroke, twist and squeeze had Rodney bucking into John's hand hot and sticky.

Sliding his other hand into the back of John's boxer's, finger slipping between John's cheeks to circle his opening, Rodney found his own hand being coated in come as he continued to stroke John through his orgasm.

It was a quick release that ended far too soon and Rodney watched as John pulled away, straightening his clothes before he turned, walking back towards the overpowering thrum of music and voices coming from the bar. As he straightened his own clothes, his stomach did a flip at the thought that John was walking away from him, out of his life. It was crazy, he didn't know anything about the man other than he whimpered when thoroughly kissed, that he tasted like chocolate and coffee, smelled like a warm summer day, and that he swaggered when he was satiated. It was next to nothing, but as he watched John's black t-shirt stretch across muscled shoulders, it was suddenly more than Rodney knew what to do with.

Turning as he reached the door, John smirked, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head towards the door, waiting for Rodney. Rodney could feel his heart thumping, stuttering a little as he looked at the warmth in John's eyes, the silent question in his gaze, before he took a step forward and then another until he was at John's side grinning as long, gentle fingers curled around his own, leading him along to who knew where. Rodney didn't care as long as John was the one he was following.


	8. Neck!Porn

Rodney shivered, turning to glance over his shoulder again. For the past hour he had a niggling feeling that someone or something was watching him and it caused the hair on the back of his neck to stand on end. He reached a hand up to rub distractedly at his neck as he turned back to his laptop. In minutes he was once again engrossed in his work and didn’t hear the sound of light footsteps moving closer.

John had been watching from the shadows, grinning each time Rodney turned around, licking his lips each time Rodney touched that spot on his neck just behind his ear. They’d been dancing around each other for months and John had decided this afternoon when he passed the lab to see Rodney standing beside his desk, arms above his head as he stretched, shirt riding up to show a flash of pale, smooth skin that tonight would be the night they stopped dancing.

Moving closer he grinned as he heard Rodney muttering to himself, his fingers flying over the keyboard, head bowed in concentration. Leaning close, John flicked his tongue against the patch of skin he’d been staring at for an hour, chuckling when Rodney squeaked, arms flailing as he jumped from his stool to glare at John.

“What the hell are you doing?”

John stepped into Rodney’s personal space and placed a hand at Rodney’s neck, his thumb tracing an intricate pattern as he stared into Rodney’s wide blue eyes. He smirked, tugging Rodney gently forward before lowering his head to the crook of Rodney’s neck. His breath hot against Rodney’s skin, John murmured, “I’m tired of dancing.” 

Opening his mouth he pulled the small patch of skin between his lips, sucking gently, grinning against Rodney’s neck when fingers buried themselves in his hair as Rodney threw his head back to expose more of his neck for John to sample with a startled, “_Oh_.” 

Nipping at Rodney’s neck one final time John pulled back, smiling smugly at the deep red bruise marking Rodney’s skin.

Rodney swallowed and then licked his lips, staring at John’s mouth. Pulling him closer Rodney traced John’s bottom lip with his tongue before pressing their mouths together in a hot, sloppy kiss that ended with both of them panting when they pulled apart. 

John rested his forehead against Rodney’s shoulder, his hands curled around Rodney’s hips. “This is okay, right?”

Rodney pushed John away, turning back to his laptop and shutting everything down. Grabbing John’s wrist and heading towards their quarters Rodney muttered, “What the hell took you so long?”


	9. Outing

In hindsight Rodney supposed that meeting John in the jumper bay after yet another attempted suicide run wasn't the best idea he'd ever had. Nor was grabbing him and shoving him against the wall, kissing him like his very life depended on it. His hand blindly undoing John's belt, his buttons, before sliding between skin and cotton to wrap around John's quickly hardening cock.

He told himself it was adrenaline--fear for John--that it was the stimulants he once again needed Carson to administer that had him being so reckless.

The gasp he heard wasn't the familiar one that he'd spent the last year provoking and it was just enough to penetrate through the fog of his own arousal. His eyes snapped open, head turning so fast he was sure he'd need to see Carson for the resulting whiplash, to stare into Elizabeth's shocked face.

As she cleared her throat, pale skin turning pink with her blush, Rodney had just enough coherence to realize his hand was still wrapped around John's cock before he was stumbling back, words pouring from his mouth without first checking in with his brain while John straightened his clothes.

John's hand curled around his wrist, just enough pressure to slow Rodney's rambling as he looked at Elizabeth, silently asking the question that would decide not only his fate but Rodney's as well.

Her mouth twitched in amusement. "Perhaps you gentlemen would like to continue your...discussion somewhere more private."

Rodney's mouth opened, but before he could say anything John was nodding, thanking Elizabeth, dragging Rodney from the room and back towards his quarters.

As John pressed him into the mattress, Rodney gasped into his mouth, and then, pausing as he pulled back to look into John's eyes he asked, "Wait--did we just out ourselves to Elizabeth?"


	10. Only Darkness

He sat perfectly still, listening to the silence surrounding him, needing to hear something--anything. It had been almost four hours since they had placed him in this dark solitary room, four hours since he was separated from his team, four hours since he'd heard anything but the silence of the room he was being held in. He tried telling himself that they would find him that they would save him, come back for him. No one gets left behind--wasn't that supposed to be Major Sheppard's credo? He laughed quietly to himself--how could they save him when they didn't know where he was?

He'd been studying the ruins on P7R-994 looking for some trace to where the Ancients had hidden a much needed ZPM. They were so silent, creeping up behind him--he didn't even know they were there until he'd felt the hand slide over his mouth to keep him from calling out. They were smart, he'd give them that. He'd been stripped of his radio, weapons, supplies, everything but the clothes on his back and dragged from the room knowing that his team wouldn't even know where to begin to look for him.

They had taken him through the stargate to another planet. The moment his feet touched the alien soil his heart sank--they were never going to find him. 

He was shoved into a room no larger than five feet by five feet with just enough room for him to stand comfortably, not that he had stood much since his first search of the room. There was nothing there--no windows, no bed, no food, no water and from what he could tell no discernable door. There was only darkness...and the quiet. The quiet that stretched on, broken only by his hoarse sobbing. He was alone and they weren't ever going to find him.

Curling into a ball on his side he stared into the darkness knowing there was nothing to see but willing his mind to show him something. At this point he'd happily accept a hallucination, something--anything so he wasn't alone in this silent encroaching dark. 

His stomach growled, his mouth felt dry, his eyes watered from being awake so long. He wasn't sure anymore about the passage of time...if he was being honest with himself he had never been sure--four hours seemed like a nice round number but he knew it could have been less...could have been longer since he'd been captured. And no one had come--not the aliens that had taken him, not his team...no one.

He was utterly alone.

Alone.

He felt a hysterical laugh bubbling up from his toes as he twisted to lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. It could have been the floor for all he could actually see. He could have been blind...

He moved his hand mere inches from his eyes wiggling fingers trying desperately to assure himself he wasn't actually blind, that the room simply had no light whatsoever, that it was just the dark...

Squeezing his eyes shut tightly he curled in on himself again, wishing for a bed instead of the hard, cold floor--wishing for a blanket...god he was so cold. He pushed himself up to lean against the wall, bringing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them trying to hold in what little warmth was left. Rocking back and forth he hummed to himself, his own voice sounding far too loud.

He laid his head on his knees telling himself they would come.

They had to come.

Had to find him.

_Please let them find me._

*****

When he opened his eyes he screamed.

Too much, there was too much noise, too much light, too many hands touching him trying to sooth him, instead feeling like a thousand burns at once.

He didn't know where he was and suddenly he craved the darkness of his cell, the silence.

He felt the lights slowly fading as he stared at his closed eyelids, mouth open and panting in exhaustion. He could hear whispering at his head and turned towards the sound dimly aware that he recognised the voice. He tried not to flinch as a gentle hand touched his face, tried not to gasp when he felt cool water touch his lips. Still his eyes remained steadfastly closed; terrified it was all a vivid dream, one that would disappear when he opened his eyes again.

Then someone was holding his hand, strong fingers holding his with a gentle pressure. He could feel a ghost of air across his neck as the someone whispered in his ear. He tried to make out the words but it had been so long since he'd heard anyone speak... 

"Come on Rodney...open those baby blues."

He knew the voice, it's gentle teasing tone bringing to mind a crystal clear image of it's owner. Tall, slim, handsome, a cocky grin and deranged hair--he struggled for a name sighing in relief as his mouth formed the name. "John."

He received another careful squeeze to his hand, feeling fingers gently stroking his hair. Taking a deep breath he prepared himself all the while knowing he wouldn't survive the pain if it turned out to be a dream. Slowly his eyes slid open, darkness greeting him. He sucked in a lungful of air, trying not fall apart. Then his eyes began to focus on something swimming blurrily before him, a face...

"Welcome back."

As John's face solidified he let himself go, feeling the hot, stinging tears of relief sliding down his cheeks only to be gently wiped away by his friend. He felt other hands on him then, no longer frightened by their touch knowing they belonged to his team--his family.

"You found me."


	11. Omission

"There's more to life than science, Rodney," Jeannie McKay huffed into the phone, annoyance bleeding through the line so that Rodney could practically see her frown of displeasure.

"Science IS life, Jeannie," Rodney sighed, hand running through Cat's short fur causing him to purr loudly, the vibrations tickling Rodney's leg. "I don't have time for this right now..."

"Don't even think about trying to get out of this again, Rodney. This is the fourth time you've canceled and I don't know if I can convince him to agree to this again."

The ‘him’ in question was one of the many men his sister had tried to set him up with; each one more disastrous than the next. Jeannie seemed to believe the simple fact of genetics was enough for her to somehow be a perfect judge as to the type of men Rodney would be interested in. So far genetics had failed miserably.

"If you're trying to convince me, it's not working." Rodney wasn't all that upset about the prospect of Jeannie being unable to convince her 'friend' to go out with him. 

"Dammit, Rodney..." She sighed loudly and lowered her voice, softening it just that little bit, knowing how hard it was for Rodney to say no to his baby sister when she asked, "Please, Rodney - for me."

Cursing the day his parents had decided to expand the McKay clan, Rodney pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine - one date, Jeannie, and then you stop with the matchmaking - for good. Understood?"

"Deal." He could hear the smile in her voice and despite wanting to be pissed off he could feel his own smile breaking out in return.

"Why do I let you talk me into these things?"

"Because I'm your sister and I know what's best for you."

Rodney snorted. "That's an interesting theory - perhaps it would hold more weight if the last guy you tried to set me up with hadn't been an over grown ape."

"He wasn't an ape, he was a wrestler and if you'd played your cards right you could have at least gotten laid."

"We are not having this conversation," Rodney snapped. It was one thing letting your sister emotionally blackmail you into a blind date; it was another thing entirely talking to her about your sex life.

"Fine, I have to go anyway. Be here at seven sharp."

"Yes, mother."

"I'm serious, Rodney if you bail on him again I'm going to hunt you down and make your life a living hell." 

"Funny, I thought you were doing that already." Rodney smirked at the indignant squawk that Jeannie made - yet another McKay family trait - before sighing. "Seven sharp, got it."

"Promise?"

"Yes, yes I promise now I have to go - Cat's hungry."

"Cat's always hungry, he takes after his owner." 

Rodney rolled his eyes, giving Cat a pat on the head. "Ha ha - see you tonight." He hung up, throwing the phone onto the couch beside him. Staring down at the bundle of fur in his lap Rodney groaned. "What the hell am I doing?" Cat raised his head, green eyes blinking curiously at Rodney before slowly closing again.

*****

Rodney arrived at Jeannie's at exactly six fifty five only to be dragged into the house, pushed towards the living room and hastily introduced to a very handsome, blue eyed Scottish man. His hand was warm, his smile wide and his brogue had Rodney thinking very inappropriate thoughts about just what else the man could roll with his tongue.

"Rodney, this is Carson Beckett. Carson, this is my brother Rodney."

"It's a pleasure." Carson grinned at Rodney motioning for him to sit. Jeannie bustled about the room, before running for the kitchen when the smoke alarm began blaring. She'd inherited their mother's ability to burn water.

Rodney had to admit that Jeannie just might have redeemed herself as he listened to Carson explaining that he was a doctor, rolling R's leaving Rodney thrumming with the thought that maybe if Jeannie had burned supper he could invite Carson back to his place. He nodded at something Carson was saying, his arm sliding onto the back of the couch behind Carson's head, close enough to touch.

So lost in Carson's blue eyes and Scottish brogue was he that Rodney didn't hear the doorbell.

Never seeing a point in wasting time, Rodney leaned in, pressing his lips to Carson's. 

"RODNEY!" Jeannie's outraged voice had Rodney jerking back in surprise to find a shocked Carson, a pissed off Jeannie and a smirking stranger with hair that defied the laws of physics. "Kitchen now!" Jeannie stormed from the room and Rodney followed. "What the hell were you doing kissing my date?!"

"_Your_ date?!" Rodney's jaw dropped.

“Yes my date! Your date is John.” Jeannie ground out, pointing towards the living room they’d just left, eyes narrowed, one hand on her hip. “This is just like you, trying to steal my could-be-boyfriend.”

“Who the hell is John? And _please_, if anything it’s totally like you trying to keep the best one for yourself.” Rodney folded his arms, eyes narrowed in a mirror image of Jeannie’s. 

From the door behind Rodney he could hear someone clearing their throat and both he and Jeannie turned to face the embarrassed Carson Beckett and the still smirking stranger who Rodney assumed must be John.

Refusing to feel embarrassed over a mistake his sister had made (really was it so hard to introduce Carson as _her_ date?) Rodney turned back with a final glare before storming from the kitchen, brushing past both Carson and John and not at all dwelling on the heat that rushed through his body from the contact.

Sometimes he really hated his sister.

Walking to his car he wrenched opened the door thinking what a colossal waste of time this evening had been. He could have been at home working on one of the hundreds of projects he had in the works. He could have been at home watching _Doctor Who_, dammit.

Sliding behind the wheel Rodney jumped when the passenger side door opened and ‘John’ climbed in. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I figured since this is the fourth time that Jeannie has promised me a date with her handsome, brilliant, sweet —“ John paused, raising an eyebrow, that damn smirk pulling at his lips again, “brother...”

“Look, I’m sorry — Jeannie is, well let’s face it, she’s a horrible matchmaker.” Rodney waved his hands towards the house, turning to face John. He had hazel eyes that looked eerily green in the moonlight; his ears were pointy which had Rodney thinking about elves and his possibly disturbing affection for Tolkien’s Legolas; hair that stood in ordered chaos and a mouth...Rodney coughed, shaking his head. “I’m sorry you drove all the way out here for nothing.”

“Well technically, I didn’t drive.” Rodney frowned, John grinned. “Jeannie figured since you were already bringing your car that there was no need for me to have mine. She obviously thought we’d hit it off.” 

Rodney had the distinct urge to stomp into his sister’s house, strangle her and steal Carson just for spite. The only thing stopping him was the fact that John was now looking at him through lidded eyes, “I can call a cab though, if you’d rather...”

He didn’t let John finish, turning the key in the ignition. “I know this great little Italian place...”

John reached for his seat belt, grinning enthusiastically. “I love Italian!”

Rodney found himself nodding, grinning along with the total stranger beside him.

Sometimes he loved his sister.


	12. Oblivious

"So what's the verdict, Doc?"

"You're free to go, Major--but if you feel anything out of the ordinary you're to come right back to the infirmary, understood?"

"Got it," John grinned as he slid off the bed he'd spent the last six hours in, happy to finally be getting sprung from Carson's clutches...not that he minded being fussed over by the over protective Scot--but he could definitely do without the needles.

Carson just shook his head as he watched John bounce out of the infirmary. The man was a bundle of energy and was almost as good as Rodney at getting himself in trouble. If he didn't know better Carson would almost think they were doing it on purpose just to land in his infirmary.

Just as he headed towards his office Carson was stopped by a groaning coming from the door. As he turned around he mentally sighed. "What seems to be the problem now, Rodney?" he asked as his walked towards the man holding his stomach.

"Carson, oh god I feel like crap. There's something wrong with me!" Carson led Rodney to an exam bed, trying desperately not to smile--Rodney had a certain flare for the dramatic.

"Let's see then," Carson spoke gently as he began to check Rodney. "What did you eat today?"

"Nothing special--whatever the commissary deemed lunch, a couple power bars, six...no seven cups of coffee and three chocolate bars." Rodney answered, shrugging as if the laundry list of edibles was nothing out of the ordinary.

"It's only one in the afternoon!"

"What's you're point?" Rodney snapped as he rubbed his stomach.

Sighing Carson folded his arms over his chest. "Rodney--you have a stomach ache."

"How observant, Carson--have you thought of being a doctor?" he snapped as his body began leaning to the side until he was horizontal on the bed, his knees drawn up to his chest. "Fix it!"

"The only thing to fix it Rodney is time--and maybe you learning to curb your appetite."

"Oh please, that's not it at all--you must have some voodoo in the back to ease my suffering, Carson." Rodney closed his eyes, rocking back and forth on the bed groaning as if he had been shot rather than having simply over indulged.

Carson rolled his eyes, turning towards the medicine cabinet--the man was impossible he thought as he fought the affectionate smirk forming on his lips. Walking back towards Rodney with a glass of water and a Gravol he prodded the man into a sitting position, watched him swallow the pill and pushed him back towards the pillow. "The Gravol will settle your stomach but you'll be drowsy for a while. As there's no one here at the moment you might as well stay here for a couple hours. Get under the blankets then."

Rodney did as he was told curling on his side as Carson pulled the blanket over him. "Thanks Carson."

Carson smiled and patted Rodney's shoulder. "Get some sleep; you'll feel better when you wake up." He supposed he should have sent Rodney back to his own quarters rather than let him occupy an infirmary bed but he was telling the truth--there wasn't anyone in the infirmary so there really wasn't any reason for Rodney to wander back to his room--at least this way he could keep an eye on the man and make sure he didn't try to eat anything else.

An hour later he found his medical training once again put to use. Teyla had helped a limping John Sheppard into the infirmary, depositing him on the bed beside Rodney. "What do we have here then?"

"Major Sheppard has injured his ankle," Teyla supplied as he ran his fingers over the offended ankle. "We were sparring when he tripped over..."

"I didn't trip!" John growled from the bed, his arm thrown over his eyes as Carson continued pressing on his injury. "Ow!"

Carson gave John a level look causing the man to settle back on the bed and let him continue checking his ankle. "Well you didn't break it, but you did manage to sprain it--I'll bandage it, but you need to stay off it for the rest of the day." Carson walked away to retrieve a bandage as John thanked Teyla and told her he was fine. She smiled and inclined her head before leaving the infirmary and Carson chuckled to himself--looked like the Major planned to stay.

Walking back to the bed he began wrapping John's ankle, clucking to himself. "You're being extra hard on yourself this week, Major—should I assume you enjoy the pain, or is my company just too good to resist?"

"Definitely the company," John grinned, turning his head to look at the sleeping lump that was Rodney. "What happened to McKay?"

"Nothing a strict diet wouldn't cure." Carson grinned. "Got himself a wee tummy ache."

John laughed as Carson put the final touches on his bandaging. "You're all set, Major. Would you like some Tylenol for the pain?"

"Nah--I'm fine." The slight grimace on his face as John moved his ankle had Carson retrieving a couple of little white tablets. Taking the glass from John's hand he pulled the blanket over him and told him to get some sleep before he headed back to his office to add to both of his friend's files. He was thankful the files were on the computer, he'd hate to think of the huge dent in their paper supply if he had to physically write up every injury each man sustained.

A few hours later he went to check on his patients, grinning as he walked towards the beds. Both men were buried under their blankets, the only things visible were two tufts of brown hair. He walked to Rodney's bed first, shaking the man gently and grinning as two bleary blue eyes opened to look at him. "How're ya feeling then?"

"Tired," was the mumbled reply before the eyes drifted shut once more as Rodney snuggled into his pillow.

Carson shook his head, smiling before he went to check on John. John's eyes were already opened and looking at Carson as he stepped to the bed. "How's the ankle?"

"Better thanks." John smiled and Carson found himself grinning back at the Major. "How's Rodney?"

"He'll be fine once he's slept for a couple more hours--the Gravol has settled his stomach, he just needs to sleep off the effects of it."

John nodded, pushing himself into a sitting position before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Where do you think you're going then?"

"I'm fine, Doc."

Carson pushed him back to the bed and threw the blanket over him once more, "You're here for at least another couple hours Major--I'll check you're ankle then, if the swelling has gone down I'll let you go the same time Rodney goes--he can help you back to your quarters." The tone he was using brooked no rebuttal as John settled back against the pillows.

"You're kind of pushy today, Doc." John smirked, raising an eyebrow as Carson smoothed his blankets, not at all minding the fussing.

"This is the second time you've been in my infirmary today, Major—you and Rodney spend more time here than I do. You're not leaving now only to come back in half an hour because you managed to injure yourself again. At least I can keep an eye on you both while you're here--I'm thinking I should give you your own beds." John had the good grace to look sheepish at Carson's words. He wasn't about to deny the fact that they both seemed to visit the infirmary several times a week--sometimes not even on purpose. "Now go back to sleep, Major--I'll check on you both in a couple of hours."

John watched Carson's retreating back, turning on his side to look at Rodney, "Think we're being too obvious?"

Rodney's eyes cracked open to stare at John, "Obviously not as he hasn't figured it out yet."

"I don't know how much more my body can take--he better get it soon."

"We could always just tell him."

"Oh I'm sure that would go over well--hey Carson, Rodney and I were wondering if you wanted to join us in a shag."

"Shag? What are you Austin Powers?" Rodney snorted before closing his eyes. "He'll eventually get it--if we can survive the Wraith we can survive Carson's infirmary."

John sighed, closing his eyes. Maybe Rodney was right, after all Carson was very smart, if a bit clueless. They'd just have to keep coming up with reasons to visit the infirmary until Carson realized they weren't there for medical attention...at least not of the needle and pill variety. They were both more than anxious to have Carson practice his bedside manner on them in a less...public place. He'd get it--eventually.


	13. Spellbound

There was something very alluring about the man and Rodney couldn't quite pin point what it was. It could be the eyes that changed color depending on the way the light hit them; the hair that looked like he spent hours on getting it just right but was most assuredly natural; the way his pants hung off his hips no matter how tight they were; the long, lean curves of his body that had Rodney's mouth watering. Or it could be all those things combined. Anyway, Rodney thought, it didn't really matter to him what exactly was so damned enticing about Agent John Sheppard, and he shoved deeper into the man, angling his cock to brush against John's prostate. 

The moan that came from John as he wrapped his legs around Rodney's waist; hips lifting off the bed giving Rodney a better angle, had Rodney thrusting harder and faster as he wrapped his fingers around John, stroking in time with his thrusts.

They'd met accidentally at a concert Rodney was playing in--John had gotten tickets as a joke for Christmas from one of the guys on his team. He'd taken a friend, a beautiful dark haired, bronze skinned, very athletic looking woman. Rodney didn't think anything of the meeting--oh John was handsome and Rodney was more than happy to look his fill but he was also with a date, a very female date and Rodney had long ago learned it was safer to admire from afar. 

John had started to come to Rodney's concerts, sitting in Rodney's line of sight, smiling and jumping to his feet in applause when Rodney finished his solo piece. He was flattered and a little embarrassed by the enthusiasm but when John had asked Rodney out for coffee he readily agreed.

That first night they fumbled their way into Rodney's house, mouths attached, and hands roaming. As John's lips encircled Rodney's cock memories of every other encounter he'd ever had left Rodney's mind to be replaced with the image, the sound, the feeling of John's mouth sucking him over the edge.

Now, six months later, as Rodney stilled, gasping John's name, hand still moving over John's heated and sticky flesh, John's head thrown back, lips parted as he pants through the aftershocks of orgasm Rodney thinks he knows what makes John so alluring. 

John pulls him down so that they're lying on their sides facing each other, leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on Rodney's lips before pulling back with a smile, "I love you." 

He's heard the words before but as he looks into John's eyes Rodney can see everything; John doesn't hide from his emotions like all the other lovers Rodney's had before, it's the honesty in John's eyes that makes Rodney fall in love over and over again. "I love you too."


	14. Superhero

Rodney always wanted to be a superhero. Not a generic superman kind of hero, but one with real substance. He wanted to be the one who saved the day, got the girl and lived happily ever after. Instead he was labeled an arrogant asshole, almost never got the girl, and happily ever after was now little more than a myth to him. 

The first time he'd laid eyes on Major Carter he was sure of two things: he was smarter than her, and she would fall head over heels for him--after all how could she not? 

When he was sent to Russia he still thought he was smarter than her but gave up on the idea of her falling head over heels for him. After all, she was pining away after a man she could never have, making her blind to all others. He had no doubts that when Mr. Right came along she'd pass on happily ever after in favor of her crush--maybe 'dumb blonde' wasn't so far off the mark.

The minute he stepped into the Antarctic outpost he knew--he had no doubts he would have the ATA gene that he would be able to control Ancient technology--he was finally going to be a hero.

Seeing Sheppard in that chair, the ease with which he was manipulating the technology, Rodney knew--John Sheppard was going to be the hero, not him.

Fate had a twisted sense of humor; he knew that the moment they realized the entity wasn't going through the Stargate, the moment they realized they were out of options. This wasn't exactly the way he wanted to be a hero, and funny thing was, he never really thought he'd be this scared. Stepping into the darkness to see light...it took his breath away. 

When he woke up to smiles and 'you did it' he still didn't feel like a hero.

Emptying his 9mm into the wraith, heart pounding, being a hero was the furthest thing from his mind. All he could see was Brendan's brain splattered across a ten thousand year old hive ship, Major Sheppard; moments away from becoming a wraith snack...and all his head kept telling him was that if the wraith killed Sheppard he'd be alone. Alone and trapped on this planet with a hungry wraith and no way to save himself, no one to save him. He didn't feel very heroic at all.

The first time he kissed Sheppard was, he kept telling himself, a momentary lapse of judgment. When Sheppard kissed him back he felt like he was flying. 

With only two weeks left before the wraith came, he told himself he'd find a way to save them all. When Sheppard came to drag him away from his lab to get some sleep he wanted to resist, he had so much to do, but Sheppard whispered comforting words, and led him towards his quarters with a hand on his elbow all the way. He wanted to sleep, god how he wanted to sleep but there were too many thoughts running through his head. There was still so much to do.

As he slid into John all the noise in his head disappeared and suddenly he was flying again. Lying there with John curled around him Rodney knew three things for certain. He would find a way to save them all. He was never going to let John go. And they were going to live happily ever after.

For one brief moment Rodney knew what it felt like to be a superhero.


	15. Testing a Theory

This section of the city had been deemed safe, and Rodney was glad to finally have the chance to explore it--missions and too much work in the lab had kept him from it for almost two weeks now and he wasn't about to let Major Sheppard ruin his fun.

"Look, Major it's not like I don't appreciate your concern--okay well that's not true, it's actually rather annoying--but I'm perfectly capable of checking out the labs in this section on my own."

"Sorry McKay, you can't get rid of me with flattery," he smirked. "No one goes roaming through any of the unoccupied sections of the city alone--you know that."

"Fine," Rodney snapped, turning his back on the man. "Just--don't get in my way and don't touch anything!"

John grinned, following the scientist deeper into the darkened section of the city, getting a perverse sense of satisfaction at Rodney's annoyed little sighs as the city awakened to John's presence. He had the gene now it was true but the city only reacted this strongly to those who had the gene naturally and most especially to John himself. He knew Rodney thought it unfair that John should have the gene so strong; where as Rodney--the man who, according to himself deserved to have the gene more than anyone--was left with the artificial version.

Rodney stopped at a panel, setting his tool kit on the floor and throwing his jacket into a corner as he settled in to work. 

John stared at the broad shoulders, the shirt pulled tight over Rodney's back, wondering what the man would do if he reached out and slid his hand over them, slipped his fingers under the hem of his shirt to touch warm skin. He smirked as he remembered Rodney's warning 'don't touch anything' and suddenly wanted to know if that included Rodney's body. The truth was, he'd been thinking about Rodney for a while now and wondering what it would be like to touch him, if he was a loud lover, if the passion he showed for his work carried over into everything he did.

Taking a few steps closer, invading Rodney's personal space he leaned in casually, looking at the panel over Rodney's shoulder, his mouth mere inches from Rodney's ear. "Find anything interesting?" he asked in a breathy whisper that sent a shiver through Rodney's body, one that he could feel where his body was touching the scientist’s.

Rodney stepped away from John, glaring at him all the while a slight flush crept up from his neck. "Do the words ‘personal space’ mean nothing to you, Major?"

They were alone and Rodney had left explicit instructions, as had John, that they weren't to be disturbed unless there was some sort of emergency--knowing that they wouldn't be interrupted had John moving again, taking a step closer and back into Rodney's personal space. He'd been wondering for far too long, this was his chance to finally find out everything he wanted to know.

Leaning in closer, his mouth at the scientist's ear he whispered, "Am I making you uncomfortable, Rodney?" 

Another shiver but this time McKay stayed his ground, placing his hands on John's shoulders and pushing him back. "What are you doing?"

John smiled, his fingers twirling in the hem of Rodney's shirt, "Testing a theory." Before he could reply John leaned in and pressed his lips to Rodney's. At first the kiss was awkward, Rodney's mouth firmly shut his body rigid but then John's fingers slipped under the shirt, ghosting along Rodney's lower back. Rodney gasped at the contact and John took the opportunity to slide his tongue into the warm, open mouth, grinning to himself as Rodney moaned and finally began to kiss him back.

One minute they were standing there kissing and the next thing John knew Rodney had him pinned against the wall. His hands were sliding John's pants and boxers down over his hips to pool at his feet, warm, strong fingers wrapped skillfully around his length and he gasped as Rodney stroked him. 

Rodney broke the kiss panting as he stared into John's eyes, a knowing smirk on his lips. He flipped John around to face the wall as he undid his own pants, letting them slip to the floor. "Hold still," he commanded as he slid his dick between John's thighs. John felt lightheaded as he felt the head of Rodney's cock brush against his balls, bracing his hands on the wall for support.

Rodney's fingers slid up his arm, fingers entwining with John's as he began to move, his free hand once again wrapping around John, stroking him in time with his own thrusts while he licked and sucked on John's neck.

They came within moments of each other, Rodney leaning heavily against John's back. When they had both caught their breath, Rodney moved away and John immediately missed his touch. After he was dressed again, Rodney leaned in and place a kiss on John's mouth, "You should get dressed." John shivered when Rodney traced a finger down his still exposed hip. "Next time you want to test a theory, Major--I suggest somewhere a little more...private." 

Rodney chuckled at John's confused look and with a wink stepped back and headed towards the door, disappearing around a corner--leaving John still half naked and confused. "Elizabeth," Rodney greeted cheerfully ignoring the woman's opened mouth and flushed face, grinning in satisfaction at John's muttered curse and rustling clothes.


	16. Infidelity

All he could see when the door slid silently open were flashes of dark skin covering familiar pale. Strong shoulders, curled around a body that had long been his to love. His breath stuttered in his chest, tightening painfully, leaving him gasping for air. When hazel eyes locked on his he was spinning on his heel, turning for the door, the hall, his room. He didn't remember how he got there but that wasn't important. Falling to his knees he emptied the contents of his stomach in the bathroom, rinsing his mouth and staring into the mirror.

He'd been stupid and that was unforgivable. Rodney McKay was not, had never been, a stupid man — until John Sheppard came into his life, tore down walls that Rodney had spent years perfecting, worming his way into Rodney's heart and then ripping it out with as much care as an indifferent butcher.

Stripping off his clothes, Rodney climbed into the shower letting the water scorch his skin, trying to burn away the memory of seeing John with Ronon; trying to burn away the memory of the last six months spent wrapped in John's arms, in John's bed. When he was done, skin red and raw, the slow job of rebuilding his walls begun, he walked back into his room, got dressed and went to the lab.

Twenty minutes later the doors to his lab hissed open, revealing John, arms wrapped around his chest, eyes staring at the floor, hair wet from a hasty shower. Rodney's heart quickened; he didn't want to hear excuses, didn't want an explanation; didn't want anything from John ever again. "Colonel, was there something you needed?"

John's eyes fluttered around the empty room before landing somewhere over Rodney's left shoulder. "I wanted to..." He cleared his throat, eyes darting to Rodney's and away again. "I never meant to..."

"I really don't want to hear it, Colonel." Rodney said through gritted teeth, adding another layer of brick to his protective wall. "It's fine."

"It's not fine," John said so earnestly, eyes pleading as he took a step forward. "Rodney — it's not fine."

Standing quickly, hands clenched into fists, Rodney hissed, "What do you want me to say? You let Ronon fuck you and now you're sorry and that's supposed to make things alright?"

"No! I just..."

"I don't care if you're sorry! Jesus, I don't care!" Rodney screamed, breath coming in gasps as he tried to rebuild his walls faster.

"Rodney, please..." John held placating hands up.

Closing his eyes, Rodney took a steadying breath. "Get out." His voice cold and flat.

When he heard the quiet hiss of the doors he opened his eyes to the empty room. Slumping into his chair, he braced his hands on the counter top. It would take time to completely rebuild his walls, until he could look at John, at Ronon, without feeling nauseated, angry, hurt.

With long practiced detachment he typed up an email to Elizabeth requesting a transfer from John's team. He couldn't work with him now, maybe never again, but definitely not right now. Hitting send, he shut down his laptop and walked slowly back to his room.

It would take time but he'd rebuild — and this time no one would ever be able to tear down his walls again.

\---

Sequel written by Nixa Jane [here](https://nixa-jane.livejournal.com/55780.html#cutid1)


	17. Committed

"He's going to kill you, you know?" Zelenka sighed, wiping his glasses as he watched Rodney stuff another shirt into his bag.

"Don't be ridiculous, he'll love it," Rodney said, tossing the remaining few personal items into the bag. "Remember what I said, no one is to know where we are. You're the only one that has my cell number and you're only to call if it's an emergency."

"Yes Rodney."

"And what kind of emergency?"

"The world is ending--"

"That's right! No calls unless the world is ending. I'm serious Radek; _pain of death_ if you disturb this weekend for anything short of all out extinction."

"How are you getting him there again?" Radek asked, ignoring Rodney's now familiar 'pain of death' rant.

"Ronon is taking care of that."

*****

"Sheppard."

"Ronon, hey, what's up?" John looked up from his seemingly unending pile of paperwork. Who knew running your own airplane design company would have so much paperwork?

"I need to show you something…in the car."

John frowned. "In the car?"

Ronon just grunted, turned on his heel and strode toward the door. John sighed and stood, walking around his desk and toward his office door, following Ronon to the parking lot.

"Okay, what's wrong with the car?"

Ronon opened the door, and pointed inside. John rolled his eyes and ducked his head looking inside the company town car. "I don't see anyth--" John yelped when Ronon shoved him into the backseat, shutting the door behind him. "Ronon what the hell are you doing?" John shouted, climbing off the floor and reaching for the door handle, rattling it when it remained firmly shut.

John growled as he watched Ronon walk around to the driver's side and slide behind the wheel. "Would you care to tell me why you shoved me into the backseat of my car with the child locks on?"

"So you can't get out," Ronon replied simply.

*****

Rodney paced back and forth outside his SUV waiting for Ronon to show up with John. Glancing at his watch again he sighed loudly and returned to his pacing. When he heard a car coming down the narrow driveway at dangerous speeds he knew it could only be Ronon. He grinned when Ronon stepped out from behind the wheel, walking toward the SUV saying, "He's in the back."

"You didn't drug him, did you?"

"Nope."

"Did you knock him--" the car horn blared and Rodney looked around Ronon to see John climbing over the seat into the front. "John!" Rodney smiled crookedly, rocking back and forth on his heels as John stalked toward him.

"McKay, what the hell is going on here?"

Rodney thanked Ronon and turning toward his SUV told John to get in. John cursed under his breath as Ronon sped away, finally noticing his surroundings. "Oh my god! Where the hell are we?"

Rodney huffed as he pointed toward the passenger side. "Get in, Sheppard."

John climbed in, buckled his seat belt and crossed his arms, glaring at the side of Rodney's head. "Are you planning on telling me what the hell is going on?"

"I'm kidnapping you!" Rodney hummed happily as he pulled out onto the highway.

John's mouth dropped open, eyes widening. "Are you--are you on drugs?"

Snorting Rodney shook his head, reached over and patted John's knee. "It'll be fun."

"Rodney, I have work to do; a business to run! And so do you!" John snapped, shoving Rodney's hand away. "I don't have time for whatever game you're playing."

"Sure you do, I cleared your schedule with Teyla. As of this moment you're on vacation."

*****

Twenty minutes later they were pulling off the highway and down a long dirt road. John had stopped talking to Rodney when he'd refused to give John his cell phone. When the trees gave way to an open field, rustic cabin, quiet lake, no one around for miles, John slouched further into his seat. "I hate you."

"Yes, and that's why one year ago today you forced me into a commitment ceremony." Rodney smirked, leaned over and tugged him closer before pressing his lips to John's.

_Shit_. John had forgotten their anniversary. "Rodney--"

"It's a good thing you're so pretty, otherwise I'd be making you sleep on the couch for forgetting."

John laughed, sliding his fingers into Rodney's hair and pulling him into a deep kiss. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"Shut up and get the bags," Rodney huffed with a crooked smile before climbing from the SUV.

*****

That night, as they lay naked and sated in front of the roaring fireplace, John curled around Rodney with a happy sigh. "So, one year huh?"

"Who knew?" Rodney grinned, stroking John's hair absently. "Radek was sure I would have killed you long before now."

"Ronon offered to hide your body," John said with a snicker.

"Carson offered a spot in his bed," Rodney said nonchalantly, laughing when John leaned over him, scowling. "His _spare_ bed." 

John lowered his mouth to Rodney's mumbling about cheeky Scottish bastards, pressing his whole body along Rodney's. Rodney wrapped his arms around John, rolling them quickly so that John was under him as he deepened their kiss, both of them ready to celebrate their anniversary all over again.

*****

Rodney sipped from his coffee mug, staring out the kitchen window into the clear night sky. He smiled and leaned back when John's arms wrapped around his waist.

"Happy anniversary," John whispered, pressing a kiss behind Rodney's ear.

Turning his head to press his mouth to John's, Rodney smiled affectionately, "Ditto."


	18. War Games

"Well this is another fine mess McKay has managed to get us into."

"I believe Major that Doctor McKay is the one currently free," Teyla replied grinning despite their situation.

"That's beside the point."

"In fact Sir, Doctor McKay wasn't anywhere near us when we were captured," Ford answered, fighting the laugh that wanted to escape at the look on his CO's face.

"That's my point! If McKay had been where he was supposed to be..."

"He'd have been captured with us?" 

John glared at the Athosian, not in any mood for logic, not when he was trapped, and dammit didn't that just suck. He was supposed to be the damned military leader of the entire base and yet a bunch of wet behind the ears marines and a handful of scientists managed to take out 3/4 of his team! He cursed the person that thought war games would help prepare them for an attack by the wraith, mentally groaning as he remembered it had been his brilliant idea. "There has to be a way out of here."

"I believe we have exhausted all possible escape ideas," Teyla answered calmly as she sat serenely in the corner of the room still losing the battle against keeping the smirk from her face.

"Maybe Doctor McKay can find a way to get us out of here."

"Rodney?" John asked wryly with a raised eyebrow.

"He is the smartest man here."

"So he likes to point out." John ran a hand through his already unruly hair making it stand in even more disarray if that was possible. "I trust McKay with matters of science. I really doubt science is going to make the two marines on guard outside disappear."

The sound of gunfire--real gunfire had John banging on the door. "What the hell is going on out there?" He could hear the booted feet of the marines guarding them running towards where the gunfire had originated. The sound of a wraith stunner made John's stomach flip nervously.

When the doors opened he didn't wait to see who it was, striking out with his fist. Rodney's outraged cry stopped him cold. 

"What the fuck was that for?!" McKay demanded, hand covering his bleeding nose. "Remind me not to rescue you the next time you get captured, Major."

Ford reached a hand out and helped McKay to his feet, grin wide across his face. "I knew you'd find a way to get us out Doc."

"Was there ever any doubt?"

Ford looked accusingly towards John who just looked pissed. "We heard gunfire!"

"I needed a diversion. I rigged one of the P90s to fire, drawing the guards away from the door so I could take them out."

"Take them out?" John smirked.

"There was only one wraith stunner blast and two marines." Ford's statement was an obvious question and McKay had no trouble answering, the smug look on his face telling them he'd managed to surprise them all yet again.

"I took the other out by hand."

"By hand?" John asked incredulously.

"Don't sound so shocked Major. You aren't the only one enjoying Teyla's expert teaching methods."

Teyla smiled, placing her hands on Rodney's shoulders and bowing her head to touch Rodney's. "You did very well, Doctor McKay."

"Thank you, Teyla." Rodney smiled, looking pointedly at the Major. "You're welcome for the rescue by the way, and I think you broke my nose." Rodney gingerly felt his swollen nose, glaring at Sheppard. 

"I'm sorry, Rodney," John apologized sincerely before clapping the man on the shoulder and leading him towards the infirmary. "Let's get Carson to check you out, kick the marines' asses and then I'll make it up to you." He winked and walked ahead of Rodney leaving the man to ponder just how the Major could make it up to him for most likely breaking his nose.

"I expect chocolate…and coffee! Lots and lots of chocolate and coffee," Rodney said, still gingerly touching his nose.

"Yes Rodney." John laughed, shaking his head. He'd happily share his stash with Rodney and if he was lucky, Rodney wouldn't hold the broken nose against him and make John sleep in his own quarters that night.

He glanced at Rodney from the corner of his eye. Rodney glared at him. John grinned. "Hey McKay," he mumbled, bumping his shoulder against Rodney's. "Did I mention I have a whole bag of Lindor in my room?"

Rodney's eyes widened and he licked his lips involuntarily. He looked at John appraisingly for a moment before grinning back. "I suppose," Rodney said magnanimously, "that will do." Checking to see if Teyla or Ford were looking, Rodney leaned in closed and whispered in John's ear, "For now."

John shivered. Oh yeah. He was going to enjoy making it up to Rodney.


	19. Like Taking Candy From a PhD

“Where did you get that?” John snapped, reaching out for the can on Rodney’s desk. He was sure he’d sent a memo out to the entire base that this stuff was now considered illegal.

Rodney snatched the can before John could reach it. “It’s mine and you can’t have it!” Rodney’s eyes were wide and dilated and his hair was sticking up in odd places, like he’d grabbed two fistfuls and tugged straight up.

“Rodney, we talked about this,” John reasoned, using his pamper the unpredictable genius tone of voice. “This stuff is bad for you. It makes you crazy.”

“It does not!” Rodney snapped, indignant at even the suggestion. He cradled the can protectively. “It’s like drinking candy, Sheppard, _candy_. Do you know how long its been since I had candy?” Rodney giggled and then frowned, taking a step back from John. “I _need_ it.”

John took a step closer, eyeing the desk behind Rodney. “You don’t need it,” he answered, moving closer, watching Rodney carefully as he moved another step back. “Just, give me the can Rodney, okay? I’ll buy you a cup of coffee in the mess.” John waggled his eyebrows in a ‘see doesn’t that sound like fun?’ kind of way, hoping Rodney would go for it.

Rodney stood, transfixed by John’s eyebrows. “It’s like you have little dancing caterpillars stuck to your forehead,” he muttered, bringing the can to his mouth and taking a long swig, still watching John’s every move.

John frowned and Rodney giggled again. “Angry caterpillars,” he snickered and finished off the can, looking triumphant as John lunged for it. “Ha!”

John grabbed the can, sighing. “Okay buddy, let’s get you some coffee.” He put an arm around Rodney’s shoulder and steered him to the door. This stuff was worse than the rotgut from Zelenka’s still; that, Rodney could drink by the gallon and still think circles around most of his minions but this stuff... He tossed the can of red bull in the trash on the way out. 

Rodney eyed John carefully. “When did you get here?”

John snorted. “Seriously, McKay, no more red bull.”

Rodney’s eyes widened. “It’s like drinking-”

“Candy, I know.” John shook his head. “What if I offered you something better than candy?” John asked, eyebrows in full swing again. This time Rodney narrowed his eyes in contemplation. 

“Better than candy?” he asked, as if there was such a thing.

“Much, much better,” John assured, nodding for good measure. 

“I don’t know,” Rodney said, face pinched. “Red bull is like the elixir of the gods.”

John shoved Rodney against the wall, ignoring the squawk of protest, pressing his mouth against Rodney’s in a searing, mind blowing, first kiss.

When he pulled back Rodney looked dazed. “Wha?”

Taking a step back, John grinned. “Better than candy?”

Rodney’s eyes sharpened, his gaze traveling the length of John’s body. When their eyes met again Rodney grinned crookedly, grabbed John’s wrist and tugged him toward the section where their quarters were. “Let’s find out.”


	20. Rituals

John heaves a put upon sigh and Rodney wants to hit him because really—getting laid is not something that should sound like a hardship. Rodney has wondered more than once why exactly it seems that almost every mission they go on ends with a ritual involving sex and Sheppard. But then he remembers natives with pointy spears, or bags of not-quite-but-close-enough coffee and he derails that train of thought immediately.

Then the truly improbably happens and he, Doctor Rodney McKay, starts getting laid on a regular basis by one Colonel John Sheppard. It’s at that point that Rodney starts to think maybe, just maybe, the not-quite-but-close-enough coffee isn’t worth watching John being dragged away to another alien princess’ bedchamber to take one for the team or it could be Rodney’s insane jealous streak that wants to cuff John to his wrist and bark at every eye batting bimbo in the Pegasus Galaxy that John Sheppard is ‘mine, mine, mine!’. 

He manages to refrain, just barely, and John is quite apologetic after each incident and really Rodney isn’t going to say no to chocolate and a blow job. Rodney forgives John and they continue on in sexual bliss until the next bimbo comes along looking to get into John’s pants. He’s actually considered forcing Carson to run some tests to see if John is giving off some kind of Pegasus Galaxy pheromone of the blinking neon sign saying ‘Please Fuck Me’ variety, but doesn’t think John would consent to the tests. 

They’re on one of a long line of planets visited this month and once again are faced with the ever popular ‘we must have sex with Colonel Sheppard’ ritual that Rodney is seriously thinking could become an Olympic sport. John smiles charmingly and does his best to turn down the alien panting in front of him but it always ends the same. John gets dragged away to have sex while Rodney paces the ‘waiting room’ in irritation and worry. One of these missions he just knows John’s going to get a damned alien STD.

John stumbles back out, still straightening his clothes and Rodney can feel himself getting a migraine from the tension in his jaw as the hussy John just fucked comes rushing out behind him, flushed and smiling and still touching! Rodney steps forward, placing an arm on John’s shoulder and giving a saccharine smile to the…woman behind him before leading John away to the other side of the room. He mentally blows a raspberry at the bitch glowering at him—she’s gotten all she’s going to get of John.

As John straightens his t-shirt Rodney catches a glimpse of a bite mark and thinks it’s going to take more than chocolate and a blow-job this time. He scowls at John’s innocent routine, not at all falling for it and grinning to himself when John’s shoulders sag. “It’s not my fault.”

”It never is.”

“It’s not like I ask to sleep with every alien princess or chief’s daughter we meet,” John hisses.

Rodney folds his arms and glares, “No—but you still do.”

“Would you rather go through caffeine withdrawal—or maybe you’d like to see if they start shooting at us with advanced technology that we didn’t see coming?” John sneers, really not wanting to deal with Rodney’s jealousy right now.

“That only happened once, and it wasn’t even my fault!” Rodney pokes him in the chest, eyes narrowing.

They’re ignoring the open stares of the people around them, ignoring the smirk on Teyla’s face, ignoring Ronon’s eye roll. “Look, sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to…”

“Oh please,” Rodney snaps, throwing his arms in the air, “you’re having sex with large numbers of beautiful women, my heart bleeds for you!”

“It’s their custom, Rodney and god dammit can we not do this here?!” John shouts, nostrils flaring, chest heaving, heart pounding. God, he just wants to throw Rodney against a wall and fuck him senseless.

Rodney is quiet for the rest of the mission and it goes smoothly, with Teyla negotiating for more mock cocoa beans and a tea that has twice the caffeine their coffee has. John lets Teyla beat him with her sticks, lets Ronon just beat him and even then he’s still too wired by the time night falls. He contemplates going to Rodney, apologizing yet again; contemplates breaking into his emergency supply of real chocolate bars but instead flops onto his bed and falls asleep.

He wakes up to someone shaking him and groans, squinting in the darkness at his bedside clock and seeing that it’s fucking 2:34 a.m. “There better be a fucking Wraith hive ship hovering over the city,” he mumbles into his pillow, batting away Rodney’s hands, “Go away.”

Rodney doesn’t say anything, simply rolls John over and yanks his boxers over his hips. John arches off the bed with a gasp and thinks Rodney has the best mouth ever. After he’s returned the sentiment and they’re lying tangled together, sweaty and naked and sated Rodney turns bright blue eyes towards him, “I really hate alien bimbos.”

John laughs and kisses Rodney’s shoulder murmuring an apology before wrapping his arms around him and closing his eyes. Rodney huffs but his fingers card through John’s hair before his breathing evens out into sleep.

Their next mission Rodney breathes a sigh of relief. There’s no alien bimbos anywhere in sight, only a rather well oiled prince who seems much too straight to be interested in John. Rodney thinks Ronon might be kicking some royal ass if this guy wants to have sex with Teyla but no—he turns to John, eyes darkening, a smile on his face as he begins talking about a ritual. Rodney’s fists clench and he can see Ronon smirking from the corner of his eye.

John agrees to share a meal with the man-whore while Teyla, Ronon and Rodney are left in the guest hall to be waited on by the servants. Teyla and Ronon begin chatting amongst themselves like John isn’t in the next room prostituting himself for all of Atlantis and Rodney stares sullenly at his…my god were those lemons?

Standing abruptly Rodney walks to the window where he stands, arms wrapped around his chest, eye twitching uncontrollably. A pretty young servant offers him more wine and he lets her fill his goblet thinking now would be a really great time to get drunk. He mutters something about alien sex rituals and catches a look of guilt cross the young woman’s face. “What?” he demands, but she just bows her head stuttering that she isn’t permitted to interfere with the master’s entertainment.

Rodney gets a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and he glares at her before gasping in comprehension, “Oh my god! There is no ritual!” He’s running for the room John is in before Teyla and Ronon even finish standing up; pushing his way past guards and hauling John off the bed, immensely glad that he’s only missing his shirt. 

“Rodney, what the hell?” John asks, trying to pry his arm from Rodney’s grip.

“We’re leaving—we are so leaving. I don’t care if I never see not-quite-but-close-enough coffee ever again.” He’s still pulling John along, out of the room, shoving his t-shirt towards him and telling Ronon to grab John’s vest and gun.

“Are you going to fill me in?” John asks, a mix of amusement and frustration coloring his voice. At least the natives weren’t shooting at them.

“I told you over and over again but did you listen to me? Of course not, you’d think by now you’d have figured out I’m almost always right,” Rodney rambled as he walked John up the jumper ramp and towards the pilot seat, only letting go once John was behind the controls.

“Rodney…”

“Seriously—if you ever agree to sex with an alien bimbo or man-whore again no amount of chocolate or infinite number of blow-jobs will save you,” Rodney hisses and behind them Ronon and Teyla snicker and John blushes. “Sex-rituals my ass!” Rodney huffs and folds his arms, glaring at the side of John’s head. “You’re going to see Carson when we get back.”

The jumper takes off while a sad figure stands at the window watching. It really was too bad that they had been so rudely interrupted---news had traveled quickly to the city of Latium of the talents of Colonel John Sheppard and Stefvin had been looking forward to finding out if the rumors had been true. Oh well—perhaps he would be able to convince the next travelers to come through the great ring that the mating ritual was a necessary part of their trade negotiations—after all, Sheppard had believed it for many cycles now, on many worlds. He hummed happily to himself, hoping the next visitors would not be long in coming.


	21. Requiescence

“How the hell did I let you talk me into this?”

John grinned; pulling back on the oars and watching them slice through the water with barely a ripple. “Cause you needed a vacation.”

“I needed for the idiots to stop being so idiot-like,” Rodney snapped, slathering on another layer of sunscreen and frowning when John rolled his eyes. “I have no intention of getting cancer because you couldn’t have chosen somewhere _indoors_ to relax.”

“The whole point of a vacation, Rodney is getting _out_.” John set the oars down, letting them hang from their cradles; pulling the backpack he’d stuffed behind him between his legs.

“Says you,” Rodney sulked, eyeing John’s backpack in interest. “What did you bring?”

John smirked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you done complaining?”

Rodney huffed an impatient sigh and crossed his arms. “Yes, fine—I’ll be good.” The sarcasm of the response had John snorting, but he pulled his hands from his bag, grinning when Rodney’s eyes lit up. “Is that…?”

John nodded.

Rodney carefully moved closer, not wanting to rock the boat or end up in the water, settling on his knees between John’s legs. He licked his lips. “Are you planning to share?”

John contemplated that for a moment, looking thoughtful, inwardly laughing at the desperation on Rodney’s face. “I don’t know—it took an awful lot of trading to get it.” Rodney narrowed his eyes and John bit his lip. “What are you willing to trade to get it?”

Rodney’s hands settled on John’s thighs, squeezing as he leaned in, his mouth at John’s ear. “Anything--whatever you want.”

John gulped his pulse quickening. Then Rodney nipped his earlobe, making John shudder. He took a deep breath, nodding and Rodney pulled back. Rodney’s eyes were dark with lust and John swallowed hard, his cock twitching in his BDUs. 

And then faster than John thought possible, Rodney’s hand shot out, yanking the bottle of Molson’s from his hand. Before he could protest, John watched Rodney’s Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as every drop of the very last bottle of good beer on Atlantis was swallowed by his lover.

“Bastard!” John shouted and Rodney grinned wickedly. 

Stretching out in the front of the boat, Rodney sighed happily. “You know, I think you were right. This place is great.” He closed his eyes, arms behind his head. “We should probably head back soon—I’m running out of sunscreen.”

“I hate you _so_ much,” John growled.

Rodney opened one eye, smirking, “The bulge in your BDUs says otherwise.”

Grinning evilly, John leaned to the side, capsizing the rowboat, laughing triumphantly at Rodney’s outraged spluttering. With lazy strokes John began the swim back to shore, calling over his shoulder, “Better hurry Rodney—the natives mentioned something about man-eating fish in the lake.”

The girlish scream John heard in response almost had him inhaling a mouth full of water as he fought his laughter. 

When they managed to pull themselves onto the shore, Rodney looking bedraggled and definitely the worse for wear, John collapsed onto his back, snickering quietly while Rodney stripped off his drenched clothes, muttering all the while.

Naked and still wet, Rodney straddled John, poking a finger into his chest. “Just for that I should cut you off!” But Rodney’s cock was hard, jutting out proudly, bobbing with each of Rodney’s movements. John raised his hips, grinding his erection against Rodney’s naked ass, grinning at the hiss it invoked. “You’re lucky you’re so fucking pretty,” Rodney mumbled before he leaned down, capturing John’s mouth in a searing kiss, nipping at John’s lip and soothing it with a swipe of his tongue.

\--

It takes only moments before John is scrambling, pushing Rodney off of him so he can get out of his too fucking tight clothes, before he’s pressing Rodney into the grass, hands roaming his body, his mouth following their path. And then he’s taking Rodney into his mouth, sucking him down and groaning at the familiar taste, the familiar feel of Rodney against his tongue.

Rodney is babbling above him, petting his hair and John can make out words like ‘good’ and ‘fuck’ and ‘John’, breathy and hot, leaving John thrusting against the ground shamelessly, ignoring the pain from the too hard earth, his mouth working Rodney’s cock like the pro he’s become since they started this thing between them. When Rodney comes, he arches off the ground, his mouth open wide and gasping, his eyes squeezed shut and John swallows again and again, taking every last drop Rodney has to give before letting Rodney’s cock slip from his mouth with a wet pop.

He rolls Rodney onto his stomach, grinning at the way he’s limp and content, practically purring as he lets John push and pull him into position. Then John is sliding saliva coated fingers deep inside Rodney’s body. He’s so relaxed that John almost doesn’t need to stretch him but he takes his time, carefully making sure Rodney is prepped because the last thing John wants is to hurt Rodney.

When he finally pushes his aching cock inside Rodney’s hot, tight body, John moans, pressing his lips between Rodney’s shoulder blades, never stopping his forward momentum until his hips are snug against Rodney’s ass. He’s lying stretched out over Rodney, not moving, content to simply stay surrounded by Rodney’s body. But then Rodney’s moving, clenching his ass, making John gasp and John’s only human, can only take so much before he finds himself thrusting, slowly at first and then frantically, mouth at Rodney’s neck, panting and licking, biting and sucking as he rocks in and out and in again.

Rodney is beginning to writhe under him, moaning with each pass of John’s cock over his prostate and then he’s pushing up, forcing John to his knees as Rodney settles on all fours, pushing back onto John’s cock, muttering under his breath until he’s growling, demanding John to move faster, harder, deeper. John can only comply, hands gripping Rodney’s hips as his own snap forward, their rhythm faltering when John comes gasping Rodney’s name. But John keeps moving, keeps fucking Rodney through his own orgasm, through Rodney’s orgasm, clenching around John’s slowly softening cock until he finally collapses against Rodney’s back, spent and sated and exhausted.

Sliding from Rodney’s body, John flops onto his back, arm curling around Rodney as he presses into John’s side. His eyes are closed and John can feel Rodney’s breath, still coming in short pants, against his chest, ruffling his chest hair. Rodney’s hands, always moving, are tracing fluttering designs against John’s hip, fingers ghosting ever closer to John’s groin and he grins because they both needed this. They both needed time away from the constant threat of death, from the constant strain and stress of always being the ones to fix things when they inevitable go to hell. 

They should go back soon. 

John feels Rodney relax into sleep against his side and thinks what’s a few more hours?


	22. Mitigating Circumstances

When asked later, Major Lorne said it must have been the alien plants...or something—Parrish agreed and as he was a botanist that seemed good enough for Weir and Sheppard. Of course, the blush high on Weir’s cheeks, and the smirk from the Colonel gave Lorne a sinking feeling that their ‘cover’ was possibly not the best he’d ever thought up.

David grinned at him as they walked from the briefing room, rolling his eyes at Lorne’s quick look over his shoulder. He tried to tell himself this was Atlantis; that David was right, that things were different here but it was hard to let go of long ingrained habits.

Reaching the corridor that cut off military and civilian quarters, Parrish grabbed Lorne by the front of the shirt and shoved him against the wall, learning in very intimate ways whether Lorne had ever had his tonsils out as a child. Nick knew they shouldn’t do this here, where anyone could walk by but when David’s long familiar hands slid under his black t-shirt, skimmed the heated skin of his back, all thoughts of propriety flew out the proverbial window and he let himself sink into the kiss, into the touch.

“Oh my God, my eyes!” The sound of McKay’s shriek had David and Nick jumping apart, faces flushed, and eyes wide. It was even worse than Lorne thought. Sheppard stood in front of them, with that same damn smirk on his face, eyebrow raised, as McKay pressed the heels of his hands into his eye sockets, muttering under his breath about being scarred for life.

“Sir,” Lorne started, not quite sure how he’d explain this—lingering effects of the alien plants?

Sheppard waved a hand at Lorne, placing a hand on the small of McKay’s back and pushing him down the hall, “I’m not asking, Major and I definitely don’t want you telling.” Lorne watched the two men disappear down the corridor, the Colonel’s hand sliding lower…

Lorne’s mouth was still open and he blinked when David reached over and pushed his jaw closed. “Did Sheppard just...”

“Grope McKay?” David asked pleasantly before nodding and curling a hand around Nick’s wrist, dragging him towards his quarters. 

“I think I just went blind,” Lorne muttered.

David just grinned, shoving Nick into his quarters and following him in, locking the door behind them.


	23. Love & Forever

The first time it happened he had managed to convince himself that he was simply comforting a friend. Things had happened, they'd almost died--it was normal to need to feel something after that...normal to want to give and receive comfort--if only for one night. So when he had woken up tangled in another set of arms and legs again he told himself it meant nothing--more life or death situations, near misses...losses, all things they needed comfort for.

The fifth time he heard his door chimes go off revealing the tall, lithe form of his best friend standing in the doorway, he wondered briefly if it was becoming more than just about comfort. His thoughts left him just as quickly as they appeared because suddenly his arms were full, his lips pressed against John's mouth and the only thing that mattered was the man wrapped around him.

Maybe what they were doing was wrong, maybe one day they would regret it but as he was caught up in the feeling of John's skin against his own he didn't care about maybes...didn't care about tomorrow. And if, as Rodney drifted off to sleep, John folded comfortably against his chest, he wondered about things like love and forever he let himself pretend it was only about the comfort because anything else hurt too much.


	24. Just The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A prequel of sorts to Lavvyan's Greenhouse AU series

Rodney frowned, eyes roaming the kitchen and finding it empty as well. He’d searched throughout the house finally finding John standing in the backyard, facing the enormous property, eyes on the small glass building to the right. “What are you doing?”

“It has a greenhouse,” John said, turning and grinning at Rodney.

“So it does,” Rodney glanced at the building dismissing it quickly. He had no interest in _growing_ anything. “You ready to get out of here?”

John didn’t move eyes still on the greenhouse. “Did I ever tell you that my mother used to have this little greenhouse in our backyard when my father had finally been posted somewhere longer than a few months? It was an ugly little ramshackle greenhouse that she and I build together one summer when my father was on a tour overseas but she loved it. She was so upset when my father got transferred and she had to leave it behind.”

Rodney stepped closer. It wasn’t often that John spoke about his childhood, especially not about his parents. “You didn’t build another one?”

John shrugged, shoulder’s slumping a little. “She got cancer that year, didn’t make it to the summer.” 

“I’m sorry,” Rodney murmured, placing a hand on the small of John’s back and leaning closer.

“It was a long time ago,” John said quietly. “We should go.”

Rodney just nodded, letting John lead them back inside the house and to the front door. They thanked the real estate woman on the way out and left. 

John didn’t look back.

\--

“Rodney, I thought I told you I don’t like surprises,” John growled, hand out-stretched and groping for Rodney’s shoulder.

“Keep the blindfold on,” Rodney said quickly, grabbing John’s hand and placing it on his shoulder moving them forward. “We’re almost there.”

“This isn’t like the last surprise is it? Cause I have to say Rodney, I really don’t want to experience another seminar on the physics behind wormholes; especially when the theories are all wrong.”

Rodney grinned. The seminar was a joke in more ways than one. The whole reason Rodney brought John along was so that they could take advantage of the extra large bed in the hotel room, not to mention room service and the mini-bar all on the SGC’s dime. “No it’s not, now shut up and wait here.” Rodney slipped out from under John’s hand returning a few moments later and reaching for him again. 

When Rodney finally let John take off the blindfold it was to see the little greenhouse. “What?” John turned to frown at Rodney.

Rodney looked a little embarrassed, shrugging and clearing his throat. “The owners lowered their asking price and it’s close to the SGC.” He shrugged again, turning to look at the greenhouse. “I was getting tired of living in the shitty apartment the SGC got us.”

John’s face broke into a wide grin and he stepped forward, enveloping Rodney in a hug before capturing his lips, murmuring, “Thank you,” against them.

\--

They’d been looking for a place for a while and Rodney tried to brush it off as simply a matter of convenience whenever John got that adoringly dopey grin on his face. Rodney had a reputation to maintain after all.

Rodney transformed one of the rooms into a lab slash office that he could work out of every couple of days. John got pissy if he spent more than two full days at the lab without coming home.

John spent his time off turning the little greenhouse into something he was proud of, something that left him humming happily to himself as he grabbed a bottle of beer and wandered in to bug Rodney for a while.

\--

“I need to go into town and get some seeds—or seedlings if they have them,” John said around a mouthful of toast.

Rodney took a gulp of his second cup of coffee frowning. “What have you been doing for the last two weeks?”

John grinned. “I built an automatic sprinkler system, some shelves…”

Shaking his head Rodney refilled his cup pushing up from the table. “Well I have to go into the lab today. You’re going to get something we can eat right?”

Laughing, John stuck his dirty dishes in the dishwasher. “Rodney, we have plenty to eat.”

“But I’m allergic to flowers,” he whined, ignoring the indulgent smirk on John’s face. “You’re just trying to kill me.”

“That’s right,” John murmured, leaning in to nip at Rodney’s ear. “I’ve just been biding my time to kill you with _flowers_.”

Rodney grabbed John by the front of the shirt, pressing their mouths together before releasing him and walking towards the front door shouting over his shoulder, “I’ve always said you were conniving.”

John just grinned wider, jogging upstairs to get dressed.

\--

The garden center he went to had a huge variety of flowers and vegetables, seeds and seedlings, not to mention every kind of tool you could possibly want to garden, and a lot that were totally pointless. He shook his head at the expensive and extravagant supplies-they weren’t what he was looking for. 

Grabbing a few bags of soil, some plant food, pots and a few other things John headed to the plant section ready to make his selections. He figured he should start out simply, plants that were hearty and not likely to die the moment he brought them home. 

In the end a small sunflower, wild yellow petals, deep brown center caught his eye. He smiled to himself when he bought it, thinking about Rodney’s reaction when he got home. As he was moving towards the exit though a tiny blue spot had him stop, stepping closer to the display stand and bending down to look more closely at the little flower. It was a tulip, perfect in shape but most striking was the vibrant blue and John juggled the bags and the small sunflower in his hands to pick up the tulip. He returned to the counter to pay for it, whistling to himself as he walked back towards his truck. He placed everything in the back, keeping the two flowers beside him on the seat, scared they’d tip over in the back.

\--

By the time Rodney got home that night John had both flowers in new pots, fresh soil and plant food in each. He had placed them side by side on one of the shelves he’d made, admiring them as the tribute to his mother’s memory this greenhouse and these flowers stood for.

Rodney found him smiling goofily at the two small plants, looking lonely on the large shelf. “You spent the afternoon at the garden center and came home with _two _ plants?” Rodney asked incredulously. 

John shrugged. “They were the nicest ones there. Besides…” John turned to smile at him, leaning forward and placing a quick kiss on Rodney’s mouth. “I’m just starting.”


	25. Indulgence's Domain

They’re off-world the first time it happens. Yet another alien ritual that has them buzzed off the local wine, the natives getting close and definitely _friendly_. 

Rodney is being fawned over by their ‘scientists’ and he can practically see McKay making air quotes over that. But he’s grinning drunkenly, and letting them praise him for his big fantastically brilliant brain and he’s not watching the rest of the team at all.

So when A’isha with her soft curves and sweet laugh takes his hand, pulling him along, John goes without much thought. 

Her hair is long and dark, curling seductively over her exposed breasts, her lips plump and red and parted just waiting for him to touch her. And he’s _missed_ this, the way she fits so perfectly against him, small and soft and willing and familiar. He kisses her mouth, trailing his lips down her satiny smooth skin to capture one of her tightened nipples between his teeth, biting gently and grinning at the way she arches into his touch.

When he’s moving inside her, her slender legs wrapped around his waist, her eyes bright and pleasure glazed he presses his face into her neck, breathing in her sweet perfumed scent, moaning when she flutters around his cock, her orgasm pushing him into his own.

And when they pull apart, straightening clothes, and smiling awkwardly all he can picture is Rodney’s crooked mouth, his bright blue eyes and all he feels is the overwhelming sensation of ‘I fucked up’.

\--

John and Rodney have been together for five months now and though he’d give up flying before he’d ever admit this to Rodney, John thinks he might be in love…just a little bit. Rodney’s everything every one of his former lovers wasn’t. He’s loud and arrogant and pushy and demanding and when they’re alone together he’s still all those things but his edges are softened, his mouth quirking crookedly, eyes shining with amusement and exasperation and _affection_ all for John. And that scares John more than Wraith or Genii or any of the other things he’s seen in his life because John thinks maybe Rodney’s a little bit in love with him too.

He knows he’s never been good at relationships, never able to give the other person exactly what they want, everything that they demand, but with Rodney, there are no demands, no expectations. It’s easy and that somehow feels wrong to John. It shouldn’t be easy, experience has taught him that, if nothing else. 

So the third time it happens he ignores the voice in his head screaming at him ignores the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, because he knows he shouldn’t, knows, really, that he doesn’t even want to. And yet he finds himself above another pretty face, cock buried in wet, welcoming heat, and he closes his eyes and tells himself this is the last time. 

\--

He’s still with Rodney, still goes to him when the halls are empty and Atlantis keeps him safely hidden from censors. He slips inside Rodney’s quarters, quickly yanking off his own clothes before crawling into bed beside his lover; curling around him, kissing him awake and begging Rodney to fuck him. 

He wants it hard and rough, wants it to hurt—wants to be punished for fucking up something that means more to him than any other relationship he’s ever been in. But Rodney never gives in to his begging, his demanding. Rodney is slow and gentle and strips John so bare he can’t breathe before he finally slides inside and it’s so good, so right that John has to bite his bottom lip, the coppery taste of blood in his mouth, to stop himself from saying all the things he wants to…all the things he can’t. Because there are so many things John wants to say, so many things he wants to confess, beg forgiveness for but he knows he’d lose Rodney for good and he can’t…he _can’t_ risk that by telling. So he keeps quiet, arches off the bed, wrapping arms and legs around Rodney and just hangs on.

\--

It’s months later when he says, “I was married once,” out of the blue and he watches as Rodney’s eyebrows rise in surprise because John Sheppard doesn’t offer information about himself easily. They’re in Rodney’s quarters, after another shitty mission, and while normally they’d be naked now, John finds himself talking, Rodney sitting quietly, watching. He shrugs. “I wasn’t very good at it.”

He’s standing at Rodney’s window, leaning against the wall and watching the sun as it sets over the water. It’s beautiful and home and…”I did something really stupid,” he rasps because _fuck_ this is harder than he thought it would be.

Rodney’s sitting propped against his headboard, one leg bent, his arm wrapped around his knee. “Just one thing?” he asks with a grin, trying to lighten the mood and John wants to laugh, make up some story about accidentally breaking an Ancient gizmo, spilling Rodney’s good coffee…anything but the truth. 

Instead he takes a deep breath, eyes firmly fixed on the fading sun and says, “I cheated on you.” He’s terrified and sick and relieved all in one because god, _god_ he couldn’t keep lying to Rodney anymore, not about this.

There’s silence from the bed and John dares a look, sees Rodney frowning, head tilted and he looks confused for a moment before he narrows his eyes. “I know,” he says, shrugging and shifting on the bed so that both his knees are drawn up. “I’ve known for a while,” he continues and John feels himself sliding down the wall, draws his own knees up and wraps his arms tightly around them, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. 

Rodney quirks a half smile, his eyes staring at the foot of his bed. “I knew what I was getting into,” he says quietly. “I never asked you for anything more, I never expected anything more.” 

John feels sick again because it sounds like Rodney is saying that this, what’s between them was just… “It wasn’t a buddy fuck,” John says quickly, his voice strained because _Jesus_ the last thing this was to John was some _fling_.

Rodney’s nodding, propping his head on his knees. “I know,” he says softly. “But we never made any promises to each other, John. We never said we’d be faithful and I don’t really have the right to be upset over something that wasn’t mine to start with. Your fidelity wasn’t a given,” he says seriously, turning to look John in the eye. “We never said we wouldn’t see other people—I can’t hold you to a promise never made.”

Shaking his head John crawls over to the bed, stopping beside it, on his knees and staring at Rodney still feeling sick and scared and… “It _was_ yours,” he says fiercely because they might not have said it but that didn’t make it any less true. “I was stupid and scared,” John stutters, hands fisting the sheets as he tries to get this out, tries to make Rodney understand. But suddenly he can’t think of anything else to say and he climbs onto the bed beside Rodney, tugs his arms away from his knees, buries his face in Rodney’s neck, breathing him in and mumbles brokenly, “It _is_ yours.” 

Rodney’s arms wrap around him, pulling him closer and John hears him whispering, “Okay, okay,” into his hair, against his temple. 

And it’s easy with Rodney. There still aren’t any demands, still no expectations, just a promise that John holds close to his heart and he doesn’t miss anything anymore because he has Rodney and that’s all that matters.


	26. Icing on the Cupcake

John hadn’t ever really cared about Valentine’s Day one way or the other. He’d never really had anyone in his life that he cared enough about to do more than the cursory chocolates and flowers (and hot sex) thing with. But today…today John was learning that he _hated_ Valentine’s Day. 

The mess staff had decorated the place in gaudy pink and red streamers and ugly cardboard cut-out hearts that must have been snuck past him when the Daedalus had beamed down their newest inventory. But other than a roll of his eyes and a pained sound of resignation he let the decorations go. 

It seemed like the entire base was walking around in a stupor of love induced, or rather lust induced cheer, smiling goofily at each other, as they began pairing off, slipping away for a little privacy. At least John could be thankful they had the presence of mind to take it somewhere else.

He slid into a seat opposite Rodney, expecting an ally against the hormone provoked madness. Instead he found Rodney, eyes closed, expression one that John could only describe as completely blissed out. “McKay?” he asked warily, because really, alien possession wasn’t out of the realm of possibility and he hadn’t seen Rodney look that happy since they’d found that extra ZPM. “You okay?”

Rodney moaned, actually moaned and John swallowed hard because _fuck_ that was _not_ a sound anyone should make outside the confines of their very locked quarters. “Oh my _god_,” Rodney said, eyes slitting opened half-way. “Have you tried the cupcakes they’re serving?” Rodney asked like he was asking John if the sex was as good for him as it had been for Rodney.

“Jesus, McKay,” John muttered, slouching a little in his seat and ignoring the interested twitch in his cock. Sure he’d been nursing an innocent crush on his best friend for months now, but up until this point it’d been fine, he was totally okay with ignoring it. Of course now Rodney was making porn noises and licking the frosting off another cupcake, utterly obscenely, and John’s pants were suddenly a little too tight. Rodney’s tongue swiped lazily at the creamy frosting again and John had a sudden vision of what it would be like to have Rodney’s tongue on his cock, just as enthusiastic and greedy for more.

“What?” Rodney snapped, defensive and glaring. “I like chocolate,” he said as if that was justification enough for the porn he’d be reenacting with the cupcake in his hand.

John surreptitiously adjusted himself, pressing hard against his cock before standing quickly. “I,” he waved a hand towards the door. “I’ve got some paperwork to do.” And then he was hurrying from the mess, ignoring Rodney’s ‘but…_cupcakes_’. 

Hiding out in his office, John cradled his head in his hands, willing his half-hard cock to settle down because he might have that whole crush thing but he’d actually managed not to spend the past four months jerking off to thoughts of Rodney and he wasn’t about to start now because that way lay nothing but a whole slew of problems that he didn’t think he could deal with—at least not right now, not with Rodney’s moans still echoing in his mind. _Fuck_. He was so screwed.

A knock on the door had John jerking upright, eyes wide, internally shouting ‘retreat!’ “Hey, McKay,” he said as casually as he could manage; glad when his voice sounded steady to his own ears.

Rodney stepped inside, letting the door close behind him, own hand behind his back. “You uh,” he looked embarrassed for a moment before huffing and pulling the hand from behind his back, sliding a cupcake onto John’s desk. “I figured if I didn’t save you one they’d all be gone,” Rodney said with a shrug, looking anywhere but at John.

John smiled tightly. “Thanks,” he said, pulling the cupcake closer. 

“They’re good,” Rodney said, fidgeting.

“The porn noises kind of gave that away,” John laughed, feeling a little more on solid ground again. He could do this, tease Rodney, just like always.

Rodney flushed. “I didn’t make porn noises,” he said a little indignant but mostly embarrassed. John could see the flush rising higher, turning the tips of Rodney’s ears pink.

John didn’t say anything, swiping a finger through the frosting coating the cupcake Rodney had brought him instead, and slid his finger into his mouth. His eyes closed involuntarily and he moaned, and okay maybe it was possible that Rodney’s sex noises had been completely justified because this was possibly the best chocolate frosting he’d ever tasted in his _life_. Sucking greedily, until every remaining taste of the chocolate was gone, John pulled his finger from his mouth and opened his eyes--to see Rodney staring at him, naked hunger reflecting back at John and his breath caught, his cock suddenly pressing painfully against his pants.

Pushing away from his desk he stood, carrying the cupcake towards Rodney and swiped his finger through the frosting again, holding it out in offering. Rodney only hesitated for a moment before leaning closer, letting John’s finger slip past his parted lips into all encompassing slick heat that had John moaning again, stepping closer, pulling his finger out of Rodney’s mouth slowly and slipping it back in, watching Rodney’s eyelids flutter, the way his lashes fanned across his flushed cheeks as he sucked, tongue twirling around John’s finger. And then John’s lips were on Rodney’s, and he was licking his way into Rodney’s mouth, chasing the bittersweet taste that was part chocolate, whimpering into the kiss when all that was left was Rodney.

It wasn’t the most dignified sex he’d ever had, desperate and needy, fast and messy but it was possibly the _best_ sex he’d ever had, pressing Rodney back against the wall of his office, falling to his knees and freeing Rodney’s cock, swallowing him down with a frantic hunger that had John urging him to thrust, sucking selfishly, wanting to taste even more of Rodney, taking it all as Rodney filled his mouth again and again. 

And then Rodney had pulled him to his feet, fumbling awkwardly with one hand at the buttons of his BDUs, the other buried in John’s hair, tugging him into another searing kiss. John hissed when Rodney’s hand wrapped around him, stroking from base to tip in one long pull that had John pressing his hands to the wall on either side of Rodney’s head, shoving his cock into Rodney’s fist hard and fast, panting in Rodney’s ear, moaning when Rodney said, “_Yeah_, that’s it John, come on,” low and dirty until John was shuddering, coating Rodney’s hand and shirt, sagging against him exhausted and satiated.

Later, when they’d managed to clean themselves up enough to sneak back to the living quarters, when they were lying naked and tangled together, John stared at the ceiling, his hand stroking idly up and down Rodney’s back. “I _love_ Valentine’s Day.” 

Rodney just snorted and burrowed closer to John, saying groggily, “Sleeping now.”

John closed his eyes and smiled.


	27. Desolation

The walls are a muted color, covered in hurried, messy, scrawling equations when he steps into the room. He’s shocked by the bareness—a small bed in the corner, a chair under the window, facing the ocean. The view is obstructed by bars. 

Time is no longer a constant to him—he isn’t sure how much of it has passed since he was here…before. He aches down deep in his belly for the one place that had felt like home, for the one person that made it home.

There’s movement behind the bed and he moves closer, peering down at a huddled form, rocking back and forth; marker flying with a desperate speed as the empty spaces on the wall are quickly covered in black numbers; numbers that don’t make sense to him anymore.

Hair grown long and wild, falling in a tangle of curls; face covered in weeks, months worth of beard but even these aren’t enough to hide the familiar face beneath. His heart squeezes painfully in his chest.

He moves quietly, not even disturbing the air around them as he lowers himself to the floor beside the man he’d loved what felt like a lifetime ago one moment and a blink of an eye the next. Leaning against the wall, feeling the familiar and welcoming hum of his city, he wraps his arms around drawn up knees. “Hi Rodney.” John’s voice is barely a whisper, hoarse from the lump that is trying to strangle him.

But Rodney only looks up, eyes darting over his face with no recognition before returning to the wall, his hand having never stopped moving. John swallows thickly, reaching out to let one curl slip silkily through his fingers before letting his hand fall away again. He rests his forehead on his knees, not able to look at Rodney anymore—not this shell of the man he loved…loves. Not this person robbed of the fiery brilliance and energy that was Rodney McKay.

The door opens with a faint hiss and John raises his head, watches as Carson—looking far older than the last time John had seen him—walks in, a sad smile on his face. “Hello Rodney.” He sits carefully on Rodney’s bed, watching as the wall turns black from overlapping equations. “It’s time for bed, lad.” 

John watches Carson pull a needle from his lab-coat pocket, watches him raise the sleeve on Rodney’s white hospital scrubs. He rubs an alcohol wipe across a patch of skin on Rodney’s arm, the one not in the middle of marring the wall. Carefully inserting the syringe, Carson retakes his spot on the bed, capping the needle and sliding it back into his pocket. Burying his face in his hands, elbows on his knees, he sits in silence.

It only takes about fifteen minutes for the sedative to work and Carson is right there when the marker falls from Rodney’s hand. He hefts Rodney to his feet and John can see how much weight Rodney has lost and knows it’s not a difficult task. When Carson pulls the covers over Rodney, running a hand through his too long hair John steps closer. He watches as Rodney’s eyes, rolling in a drugged haze pass over Carson to land on him and he sees Rodney smile. And when Rodney whispers “John” he kneels beside the bed, forehead pressed to the mattress beside Rodney’s shoulder as he feels his whole world shattering around him.

Carson pats Rodney’s hand, murmuring quietly for Rodney to sleep and then he’s slipping out of the room. The pale Atlantean moonlight streaking across Rodney’s sanctuary, painting him in a ghastly white light that makes John’s stomach turn. Rodney’s eyes are almost closed now but he’s still staring at John with a sadness that makes John want to curl himself around Rodney and never let go. “I miss you.” 

Pressing his lips to Rodney’s, John mouths the words back, no longer able to speak as a single tear trails down his cheek, glistening on Rodney’s skin when it falls. When the sedative has finally pulled Rodney under, John stands and stares down at his lover. “I love you.” 

The room glows as John transforms into tendriled light, slipping out through the window and into the Atlantean sky.


	28. Compensation

"No really, people should be falling at my feet begging to sleep with me!" Rodney slurred, Zelenka's gut rot sloshing out of his mug and onto John's couch.

"I've saved this city 27 times!" Rodney glared at the wall. "Not once did I get a blowjob out of it let alone sex, not once." He turned his head, glowering at John. "I bet you get lots of sex every time you save the city."

John shrugged, his eyes glassy as he reached over to pat Rodney's shoulder, hitting him in the face instead. "That sucks, Rodney--you should definitely have gotten a blowjob--especially after you figured out how to recharge the ZPMs."

"That's what I'm saying!" Rodney said, as he listed sideways, head falling onto John's shoulder.

John grinned. "I'd do you."

Rodney snorted. "Please, Colonel--you'd do anyone."

"Hey!" John protested, shoving Rodney off his shoulder and watching as Rodney crumbled onto his lap. "I am not a slut!"

Rodney rubbed his cheek over John's crotch, grinning when it caused John to moan, his fingers sliding into Rodney's hair. "It's okay; luckily for both of us sluttiness is kind of hot to me."


	29. Bruised

John never meant to hurt him. Rodney knows this, even as he stares at his reflection, at the bruise coloring the skin around his eye. He knows that, knew it the second he’d looked up from the floor to see John staring back equal parts horror and guilt.

It’s his own fault, really. He never should have surprised John, but to be fair, Rodney hadn’t known he was going to kiss John until it had already happened.

He could blame the lack of sleep and the uppers. He could blame the adrenaline from surviving the wraith attack, or he could blame the shock at John being alive when only moments before Rodney had been sure he was dead. But he knows, deep down, that he’d wanted to kiss John for a long time.

Of course he’d never actually intended to act on that.

John was…_is_ straight. There’s no getting around that. The long line of alien bimbos Sheppard has bedded and deserted is more than proof enough of his hetero status.

Rodney steels himself, taking a deep breath before stepping out into the hallway to face the rest of the city, to pretend like nothing had happened. He ignores the stares, the sly glances and whispered words. He has better, more important things to do than worry about being a part of the city’s gossip mill.

It’s not hard to bury himself in his work, to hide in his lab and act like he’s not playing the coward.

When Teyla and Ronon come to visit, each with their own pinched expressions hidden beneath concern, Rodney snaps and growls like an injured dog, pushing them away with each barbed remark until he’s finally blessedly alone again.

It’s hours later, when the lab is empty, except for Rodney that John shows up. He looks skittish and Rodney feels sick. He doesn’t know how to fix this, to explain that it was a momentary lapse and it won’t happen again, that he doesn’t want it to ruin possibly the best friendship he’s every had, that he doesn’t want off the team or any of the other half dozen things his brain is telling him could end up happening as fallout from him being too fucking _relieved_ that John hadn’t blown himself up with a bomb Rodney had made.

He doesn’t realize until John is right up in his face that he’d said it all aloud, until he sees that same look of horror and this time anger on John’s face. Doesn’t realize he’s said it all until John’s hands are squeezing his biceps and John is whispering something fiercely into his ear but Rodney’s too tired, too wired, too fucking scared to hear anything.

And then John’s hands are on Rodney’s face and their lips are pressed together and Rodney can’t stop himself from flinching away, expecting another blow. John’s eyes look haunted and Rodney can see his own hurt reflected back at him.

This time when John moves, he goes slow, gives Rodney time to relax, or time to stop John if that’s what he wants. Rodney’s heart is pounding and his fingers are digging into the skin at John’s waist, probably leaving bruises and the thought makes him gasp out a broken laugh because he doesn’t want to hurt John, doesn’t want to see him bruised.

But it’s too late. They’re both bruised, both a little broken and Rodney lets himself be pulled close, lets John wrap his arms around him and hold on. Rodney buries his face in John’s neck and just breathes, ignoring the twinge of pain that comes from pressing his black eye to John’s collarbone.

They’re both a little broken but maybe they can mend each other.


	30. Being Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Firefly crossover

“You hide your scars in loud places, pushing away the real you and embracing the imaginary you like a shield.” The lilting voice floated down from above him and Rodney looked up, frowning at the young woman looking down at him.

“I thought your brother was supposed to keep you away from the ship until it’s fixed.” He turned back to the readout on his data-pad, cursing quietly to himself at the readings.

“Doctor Beckett and Simon are talking about me.” River shifted to dangle her feet over the side of Serenity’s walkway.

“So you decided to bug me, wonderful,” Rodney muttered. “I don’t know how this ship hasn’t fallen apart under all your feet.”

River jumped from the walkway, grinning when Rodney squawked, reaching out to catch her. “What are you insane?” he demanded. “Are you alright? We should get you to Carson; you could have broken a leg or your neck!”

She tilted her head to the side with a serene smile, slipping out of his grip, moving gracefully towards Serenity’s control panel. “She hurts,” River said sadly, running a hand along her cool metal surface.

“She doesn’t feel,” Rodney snapped. “She’s a ship; metal, wire—nothing more.”

“Your city is glass and metal and she speaks to you,” she countered and Rodney rolled his eyes because yes, maybe Atlantis was a little more than metal and glass but Serenity hardly compared to the city of the Ancients.

“Look,” Rodney growled, putting down his data-pad and frowning at River. “You’re just going to get in the way here. Why don’t you go bug Teyla or Ronon or Sheppard or any number of other less integral people needed to get your ship back in the air?”

Serenity had appeared on their sensors emerging from an anomaly above the planet. The crew of the ship was still providing quite the entertainment for Atlantis’ people. They looked like extras in a space western, their speech patterns leaving half the city’s inhabitants hiding smirks and the other half openly staring in awed fascination.

Ronon and Jayne were bonding over weapons. Elizabeth was fascinated by Inara’s ‘profession’. Simon and Carson were brain-storming over River’s condition. Mal and John were off together doing…something—Rodney refused to acknowledge the twinge of jealousy that brought. Kaylee was with Teyla sampling all the kitchen staff had to offer in the form of sugary goodness. Wash and Zoe were…well Rodney didn’t really want to think too hard on what they might be doing.

River stepped closer, curling her hand around Rodney’s arm, right over the scar from Kolya’s goon’s knife. “It still hurts,” she murmured, eyes staring unseeing at a point beyond Rodney’s shoulder. “You screamed…when they cut you.” Rodney swallowed hard. “Told them things you didn’t want them to know, things you weren’t supposed to say.” 

He pulled his arm away, turning his back to her, heart pounding and face red. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re scared,” she whispered. “Scared they don’t trust you anymore, scared that maybe they shouldn’t.” 

Rodney clenched his eyes shut. “I did what I had to do to stay alive,” he rasped, shaking his head trying to stop the memories from overwhelming him.

River was beside him now, reaching up and stroking a gentle hand through his hair murmuring nonsense that Rodney barely heard. He took a shuddering breath and pulled away from her touch. “I need to get back to work.”

She smiled, her eyes bright and clear. “You don’t have to be scared anymore.”

The clang of boots on metal grating sounded behind them and Mal and Sheppard strolled into the ship, laughing and joking. When the colonel caught Rodney’s eye he smiled and something inside Rodney unclenched. 

He looked back at River, her eyes now distant as if she were hearing some far off noise. “Thank you,” Rodney whispered.

And then Sheppard was slapping him on the back, Mal peppering him with questions about his ship and how long the repairs would take. Rodney snapped out an answer and Mal grinned, taking River’s arm with a murmured, “Let’s find that brother of yours,” before leading her back towards the city. 

She turned back to Rodney, her smile wide as she looked from him to Sheppard and back again. “Stop hiding,” she said, laughing at Sheppard’s confusion and Rodney’s reddening cheeks. “It’s much more fun being found.”


	31. Aspassionata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a snippet from Medie's McKay's Symphony of Two In Ten verse

"You're not going to die, you hear me? You aren't...I won't let you." 

John’s voice is hoarse and raw and he doesn’t care that the medical staff are just beyond the curtain, doesn’t care what they might be inferring from this...any of it. 

He’s been by Rodney’s bedside everyday since it happened, since Rodney took a fucking bullet for him, willing his best friend to wake up to just snap out of it already and at the end of every shift Carson has come in and forced him back to his own room to sleep, his eyes a little sadder each night.

Carson’s updates on Rodney’s condition are less than optimistic and there’s that twisting in John’s stomach again. He was telling the truth when he told Rodney he was scared; scared at the thought of losing Rodney—his friend—scared at the thought of losing Rodney who could become something more.

But then Rodney wakes up.

John’s relieved of course, they all are and Rodney recovers faster than they expected, soon back to berating the minions and everything is...normal again—except it’s not.

Rodney’s carefully cool around him now. He surreptitiously moves a couple paces away whenever John gets too close. The flinching hurts the most and John doesn’t even understand why—why Rodney is suddenly so anxious to stay away, why it hurts so much that it matters at all. 

Sure John had his mini-epiphany while Rodney was unconscious but the truth is once he came face to face with Rodney’s eyes, watching him warily he…if he’s honest with himself, he pushed all the things that epiphany brought, back into the closet he’d held so closely guarded for so long.

And now he feels kind of like he’s lost his best friend and he’s not sure how to fix things because he doesn’t understand what’s broken in the first place.

He grits his teeth and tries to ignore the confused and sympathetic looks that the rest of his team throws him; the way Radek eyes him and Rodney like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle; the way Elizabeth’s mouth tightens when once again Rodney avoids John’s eyes, or chooses a seat as far away from him as possible during meetings. It’s not like John can explain to them what’s going on and he feels like screaming at them that it’s not his fault, he hasn’t done anything wrong but even as he thinks it something twists inside him and he feels a stab of guilt for some unknown sin.

It’s not long before Carson clears Rodney for active duty again, and while John is both relieved that Rodney’s fine and that they’ll finally be able to go back on missions, the thought of Rodney back in the line of possible fire terrifies him.

It turns out though, that his fears were unfounded and the mission goes off without a hitch. Successful trading, no injuries, and John counts those two in the plus column all the while telling himself that the distance still painfully evident in Rodney’s behavior doesn’t bother him at all—all the while ignoring the voice screaming ‘LIAR’ in the back of his mind.

In the end he thinks it’s kind of ironic that when Rodney finally gets over whatever the hell has been going on with him it’s because John’s laid up in the infirmary with a gunshot wound to the chest meant for Rodney. And if he could open his eyes, or move, he’d tell Rodney off for the crap he’s pulled the last few weeks but he can’t so instead he listens to whispered words of a life he never lived, of a life so perfect it hurts to know it was all just a dream, a life he wishes more than anything that he had shared with Rodney. 

When Carson’s drugs finally pull him under, darkness creeping in, John silently vowed to make things right with Rodney when he woke up. It was time to stop hiding—time to stop running.


	32. There's No Time Like Presents!

"No, no way," Rodney muttered, shoving the blindingly bright card that Teyla had handed him away from himself.

"But John is your best friend," Teyla reasoned, her eyebrow raised in that 'what the fuck is wrong with you?!' way she had about her. There was nothing wrong with Rodney and sure John was his best friend but THIS, this was too much.

"And as his best friend, I can assure you that _this_," he pointed at the offending card, "is something he will hate with every fiber of his being." And it was true. John would hate what they were planning. He hated the spotlight and a brightly colored, blinding, streamer filled spotlight was even worse.

"Its his birthday." Teyla's voice had gone just a little hard as she stared at Rodney like he was the anti-Christ for not wanting to join in on their freak show of a birthday party.

"Look," Rodney said in his slightly higher than normal 'please don't kick my ass' tone of voice he sometimes used when backed into a corner. "I have something already planned for John's birthday." The truth was, he didn't already have something planned but he'd plan the best damn birthday _something_ John had ever seen if it got him out of going to the party that Teyla, sweet, apparently totally color blind, Teyla had planned for Sheppard.

Teyla smiled, her eyes lighting up. "I see," she said and gave Rodney a knowing smirk. Rodney didn't know what the knowing smirk was supposedly meant to mean but he didn't really care, she was caving, that's all that mattered.

Rodney nodded and grinned back at her. "Yes, just something for...two best friends!" He nodded again like it made perfect sense, like he actually did have something fantastic planned.

Teyla patted Rodney's shoulder and inclined her head, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "Of course Rodney," she said. "I'm sure John will love what you have planned for him."

"Yes," Rodney agreed, "he most definitely will."

\--

"So," John said, leaning against Rodney's desk, arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face. "Rumor has it that you've got some big birthday surprise planned for just the two of us."

"What?!" Rodney squawked, "Who told you that? Did Teyla tell you that?"

"Relax, McKay," John soothed, hopping up to sit on Rodney's desk. "Teyla didn't tell me anything."

Rodney narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms.

John looked sheepish. He shrugged and said, "I was coming to see if you wanted to grab some lunch. I overheard you telling Teyla."

"Oh," Rodney dropped his arms to his side and sighed. "So I suppose you heard about Teyla's surprise party too then?"

"Teyla's throwing me a surprise party?"

Rodney's eyes widened in horror. "Oh my God, okay, I did NOT just tell you that and if you tell Teyla I told you I will make sure that you get cold showers for a month - ice cold!"

John chuckled.

"I am not kidding Sheppard," Rodney threatened because really, Teyla scared the shit out of him and she could break him with her baby toe.

John slid from the table and winked at Rodney. "I promise to act surprised."

Rodney groaned.

\--

"Alright, that was possibly the most frightening birthday party I've ever been to," John declared as he walked into Rodney's lab. "And you, you didn't even come!" He pointed an accusing finger at Rodney who was busy tapping away on his computer. "Some best friend you are, leaving me to fend for myself," he muttered, sliding a piece of birthday cake onto the desk beside Rodney.

Rodney's eyes lit up at the cake and he grabbed the plate in one hand, pushing away from the computer and grabbed John's wrist in the other. "Come on," he said and started dragging John from the lab.

"Where are we going?" John whined, letting himself be dragged and pretending to ignore the little thrill he was getting at Rodney practically holding his hand.

Rodney grinned and looked over at John. "If you don't _want_ your birthday surprise..."

"I want it," John said firmly, swallowing at the look of pure joy on Rodney's face.

"You know," Rodney began, "when you overheard me tell Teyla that I had something planned for just the two of us, I was completely lying through my teeth. I had nothing. I just didn't want to go to what I knew would be 'the most frightening birthday party I've ever been to'. But then," he continued, "I started thinking of what I could do because you know, if I didn't have SOMETHING planned, Teyla was going to come back and kick my ass for not going to your party. And then it hit me. The perfect birthday present for a flyboy that has no sense of self-preservation whatsoever."

"Rodney," John warned because they'd had this conversation one too many times already and really Rodney was one to talk. He might not like the idea of putting himself in dangerous situations but that didn't stop him from doing it on a regular basis and almost giving John a heart attack.

"Shut up," Rodney said cheerfully, "I'm not done." He pulled John into the jumper bay and over to Jumper One, John's favorite. "Remember when I almost died because of the Ancients inability to properly label their _broken_ experiments?" John just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. "Well, I haven't really had much time to work on the ideas I came up with when I was even more brilliant than I already am."

"Rodney," John said, because Rodney was five seconds from one of his rants about how no one really understood or appreciated how brilliant he was.

"Okay, okay," Rodney said, letting John's wrist go and pushing him into the pilot's chair. "Take her up."

John raised an eyebrow in question.

"Don't worry, I've already cleared it. We have a few hours before we have to be back."

John grinned and took the jumper up and out of the open roof, speeding up and into space. He loved the jumpers and loved even more that he got Rodney all to himself for the next few hours. "Alright," he said, "now what?"

Rodney beamed and started tapping away at the controls. The next thing John knew, a hyperspace window was opening and the puddlejumper was light years from Atlantis. "I gave the jumpers hyperspace capability!" Rodney grinned over at John.

John grinned back at Rodney. This was..."Awesome!"

Rodney snorted.

John set the jumper to automatic pilot and stood up. Rodney looked confused and John grinned harder. He pulled Rodney to his feet, ignoring the squawks of protest. "You," John muttered, "are amazing." He leaned in slowly, giving Rodney time to pull away if that's what he wanted, and slid his lips over Rodney's.

Rodney let out a squeak of surprise and then grabbed John, pulling him tight against his body and leaned into the kiss. When he pulled back his eyes were dark and he was grinning crookedly. "If I'd have known," he murmured, "I would have finished the hyper drive months ago. And of course I'm amazing, you're only now figuring this out?"

John rolled his eyes and pulled Rodney to the back of the jumper. "Shut up," he said cheerfully, "I want to enjoy my birthday present."


	33. Enticement

John walked into the lab, glancing around surprised to see it empty; it was only two in the morning, there were usually at least three or four scientists left hunched over laptops, blindly reaching for coffee. "McKay?" The doors slid shut and John could hear the click, click, click of multiple locks. Rodney stepped out from behind one of the large shelves containing numerous ancient devices they had yet to decipher.

"Major," Rodney was smirking and John could see the gleam in his eye that usually meant 'I have something planned and you're going to go along with it whether you like it or not because I've been awake for 37 hours, ran out of coffee 10 hours ago and I'm so horny I could practically strip you with the power of my mind'--John enjoyed that gleam very much.

He went off duty around ten that night, heading back to his quarters to shower, eat and change into something more comfortable before coming to drag Rodney from the lab. His worn blue jeans hung precariously low on his slim hips, untucked blue button down shirt, sleeves rolled up, hiding the lean muscled chest beneath. Rodney's eye strayed down John's body, trailing slowly up again leaving John semi-hard, breath quickening.

Rodney was wearing soft faded blue jeans that clung to strong hips, flaring slightly at the bottom, and wearing the long sleeved grey shirt under green t-shirt that made John's mouth water with his hair still damp from a recent shower. "I thought you were still working."

A smirk was all the answer Rodney gave him as he took a step closer, John involuntarily taking a step back. Rodney's hands were in his pockets and he looked far too smug for John's comfort. "Rodney?"

"Give me your wrists." Rodney's voice had dropped to what John thought of as his bedroom voice, the voice that made John's cock twitch, pressing against his jeans.

"Why?" John asked even as he raised them towards Rodney. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears when Rodney pulled out a long piece of silky rope, wrapping it gently but tightly around John's wrists.

Still clutching John's tied wrists, Rodney began to back John up closer to the wall until John's back was pressed against the cool metal. Raising John's wrists above his head, Rodney leaned in lips ghosting across John's cheek as he whispered, "Do you trust me?"

Swallowing audibly John nodded, turning his head upwards to watch Rodney securing his wrists to a piece of the sturdy ancient structure of Atlantis. Tugging gently to test the bonds John raised an eyebrow. "Now what?"

Slowly Rodney began to unbutton John's shirt, pushing aside the material so that it exposed his chest. Running his fingers over John's skin Rodney lowered his head, tongue swirling around one of John's nipples, teeth tugging it gently until it hardened before closing his lips around it and sucking, John arching into the touch.

Taking a step back Rodney's fingers reached for the button on John's jeans, a smirk tugged at his mouth as he pulled them open exposing John's very erect cock. "Commando?"

John gasped when Rodney's knuckles skimmed the head of his dick. "What can I say? I was hoping to entice you away from the lab." Rodney took another step back, admiring the view of John, arms tied above his head, shirt pushed aside, jeans hanging open, cock standing proud from it's nestle of dark curls. "Uh, Rodney?" John struggled a little, jutting his hips out. "You planning to finish what you started?"

"I'm not sure, I mean after all with you--indisposed I might actually be able to finish working on the ZPM distribution calculations..."

"McKay." John's growl held all kinds of nasty promises of retribution if Rodney even thought about leaving him like this.

Rodney crossed his arms, a thoughtful look on his face as he pretended to contemplate what he was going to do. Before John had the chance to complain Rodney dropped to his knees, hands on the waistband of John's jeans tugging them down, mouth engulfing John's cock in warm, wet heat that had John bucking into Rodney's mouth with a gasped, "_Fuck_!"

Rodney bobbed his head up and down John's shaft, tongue swirling around the head, pressing against the sensitive underside. One hand curled around John's hip pulling him closer as the other slipped between John's legs, finger circling John's opening, while he swallowed deeply. It was enough, John thrusting once more as Rodney's throat muscles squeezed around his cock and he came shooting hot spurts into Rodney's mouth, shivering as Rodney kept on swallowing through the aftershocks of his orgasm.

Letting John's softening cock slip from his mouth Rodney stood, fingers sliding into John's hair, pulling him into a deep, messy kiss. Rodney let his mouth open under John's lips, groaning when he felt John licking the inside of his mouth, trying to capture his own taste on Rodney's tongue.

Breaking apart for air, John whispered hoarsely, "Untie me."

Complying quickly, Rodney untied John's hands, placing a chaste kiss on the pulse point of each wrist, grinning when John wrapped his arms around him. Nipping at Rodney's earlobe John murmured, "You're still hard." Pulling back to press his lips to Rodney's he mumbled contentedly, "Let's finish this somewhere a little more comfortable."


	34. Firsts

_"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."  
\-- Carl Jung_

The first time Rodney saw the chair in Antarctica come to life he’d been shown a galaxy, spread out above them bright and alive and beautiful. What he remembers most about that day is the cocky air force pilot, confused and maybe a little scared, looking at him and asking ‘Did I do that?’

The first time John sat in the chair in Antarctica, the room above him glowed with billions of stars and planets never before seen. The thing he remembers most is feeling like he’d finally found home as the chair responded and a pair of bright blue eyes stared at him, demanding he ‘Think about where we are in the universe’.

The first time John and Rodney kissed, there weren’t any fireworks or violins playing, but it was real, a little awkward, and it felt right like nothing had before for either of them.

The first time John had met Rodney’s sister, Jeannie, as Rodney’s partner, Jeannie smiled and hugged Rodney and then John. She stood back and looked at them and shook her head. “You’ve changed, Mer.” She didn’t need to be told that John was the reason.

The first time Rodney met John’s brother, Graham had frowned and tilted his head, eyeing John critically. “You’re gay?” John stiffened beside Rodney and Rodney placed a hand at the small of John’s back. Graham looked from one to the other, shaking his head before grabbing John and hugging him. “You think that matters to me? You’re my brother John. I’ll love you no matter what.” John returned his brother’s embrace, too choked up to say anything. Graham didn’t need to be told that Rodney was the reason John was there at all. He was just glad to have his brother in his life again.

John and Rodney shared many firsts together, some good, some bad, but at the end of the day the only thing that mattered was that they were _together_ for each and every one.


	35. Home For Christmas

Their first Christmas in Atlantis was spent trying to pick up the pieces after the storm and the Genii’s attempt at taking over the city. 

John spent Christmas Eve trying to distract Rodney from what Kolya had done to him.

Rodney spent Christmas Eve hating himself for breaking.

All in all, it was a shitty first Christmas.

\--

Their second Christmas in Atlantis was spent defending Atlantis against the Wraith siege.

Rodney spent Christmas night trying to convince John that they’d find Aiden; that it wasn’t his fault Ford was now hopped up on Wraith enzyme – sure they were all out to get him.

John spent Christmas night hating himself for not saving the kid who had become a part of his family along with Rodney and Teyla and the others, but vowing he’d find Ford and bring him home.

Not exactly the Christmas they were hoping for.

\--

Ironically enough, their first _real_ Christmas was back on Earth after the Ancients had kicked them all out of Atlantis.

Carson was spending it with his mother; Radek was back in Prague; Elizabeth was still sequestering herself inside her apartment, refusing to talk to any of them; Lorne and all the rest had family that were thrilled to have them home after so long away.

Rodney could have spent Christmas with Jeannie – they were, after all, finally getting their relationship back on track and Madison would love to have Uncle Mer there – as long as he brought her a present.

In the end though, Rodney had showed up in Colorado on John’s doorstep, laptop bag and luggage in tow.

They went out and bought the first tree they saw, smothering it in lights and tinsel and ugly little balls that John had picked because they were the colors of Atlantis’ walls.

Rodney spent several thousand dollars on entertainment equipment that John didn’t need or really want but they almost laughed themselves sick trying to hook everything up. By the time they were done, John’s living room looked like the control room of the Daedalus. 

John spent several thousand dollars on games and sporting equipment that Rodney didn’t want or know how to use but they were nearly crying, they were laughing so hard, when John tried to teach Rodney how to use them. When they were finally too tired to keep going, they were both covered in snow, red cheeks and runny noses and Rodney swore he was going to have bruises all over his body but they were smiling. And for the first time in months, when they looked at each other, they didn’t think about the city – the home – they’d lost.

That night John made eggnog with too much kick and they sat on his couch, watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” until the credits were rolling and they were both feeling fuzzy and content.

It seemed like the most normal thing in the world when John turned, curling a hand around the nape of Rodney’s neck and pulled him into a slow, sweet kiss that went on and on. And when Rodney looked into John’s eyes, his own shining with some unnamed emotion, they moved as one from the couch to John’s bedroom. 

They fell asleep in each other’s arms after, sated and truly content for the first time since they lost everything because right now, in this moment, they realized that maybe they hadn’t lost anything after all.

They weren’t on Atlantis but both John and Rodney couldn’t have asked for anything more for Christmas than to find that _home_ wasn’t a city in another galaxy that they missed more than breathing, wasn’t Earth with all it’s familiar sights, sounds and people but rather that it was in each other’s arms. 

And whatever came after this, they’d get through it _together_.


	36. Let Them Eat Cake

“Promise me,” John said seriously, poised over Rodney’s body.

Rodney looked up at his lover, his eyes falling to John’s dog tags swinging between them, his naked chest and then lower…

“Um,” Rodney responded, not taking his eyes off of John’s body. “What was the question again?”

“No question,” John growled, lowering himself so that he was covering Rodney, their noses inches apart. “You are going to promise me that there will be no surprise party this year.”

Rodney blinked. “Surprise party?”

John rolled his eyes and then rolled his body off of Rodney, propping himself up beside him. “I know you’re planning something, McKay,” John said mulishly. “But it’s my birthday-”

“And you’ll cry if you want?” Rodney asked, grinning cheekily.

“Don’t make me cut you off,” John answered, eyes narrowed.

Rodney snorted. “You wouldn’t last a week.”

John huffed and rolled onto his back, not answering because dammit, Rodney was right; he wouldn’t last a week. 

“What’s the big deal anyway?” Rodney asked, shifting on the bed to stare down at John. “It’s just a birthday party. Besides, there will be cake and presents. Who doesn’t like cake and presents?”

John squinted at Rodney. “Are you doing this just so you can get cake?”

Rodney grinned crookedly. “Of course not! I’m doing this because it’s your birthday and I love you and everyone on Atlantis wants to celebrate…” Rodney paused and tilted his head. “Too much?”

“Just a little,” John said but he was smiling just the same. “So you’re doing it cause you love me huh?”

Rodney poked John in the stomach. “Are you kidding? I’m doing it for the cake.”

John laughed, flipping Rodney onto his back, grinning at the squawk that produced. “Do I get my present now?” John asked innocently, rocking his hips against Rodney’s.

Rodney’s eyes dilated, his hips thrusting up to meet John’s. “I suppose I could be persuaded to let you have your present early,” he said magnanimously, spreading his legs and letting John settle between them. 

Grinning, John reached for the lube. “You know what this means, right?”

Rodney was lazily stroking his own cock, not really paying attention to the conversation anymore, too interested in where John’s fingers now were. “Huh?”

John pushed two fingers inside, twisting them just right. He grinned when Rodney arched off the bed, his hand moving over his cock faster with each touch of John’s fingers over his prostate. “Your birthday is coming up,” he said casually, lowering his head to capture Rodney’s mouth. 

Pulling back Rodney panted, eyes closed. “Why are you still talking?”

“I thought you’d want a say in the planning for your fortieth,” John said, nipping Rodney’s shoulder blade.

“I’ll tell you what I want for my fortieth,” Rodney said, wrapping his legs around him and flipping them so he was straddling John. He reached back, guiding John’s cock into position before letting himself sink down on the hardness. He threw his head back, panting as his body adjusted. “This,” he gasped. “You’re what I want for my fortieth.” He raised himself up and let himself fall again and again. “You. Me. A bed.”

John groaned, grabbing Rodney’s hips as he thrust up. “No cake?” he panted, curling a hand around Rodney’s cock.

“Oh, _fuck_,” Rodney moaned, riding John faster, fucking himself into John’s fist over and over until he came, his release coating John’s hand and chest.

Five…six more thrusts and John was following Rodney over the edge, his fingers clutching Rodney’s hips in a bruising grip.

Rodney hissed as he pulled off, flopping onto the bed beside John. “You. Me. A Bed. And a large chocolate cake with extra icing.” He turned to look at John. “That’s what I want.”

John smiled, curling himself around Rodney, ignoring the mess for the time being. “Did you really plan my birthday just for the cake?”

Rodney ran his hand down John’s back and smiled, pressing a kiss to John’s hair. “Of course I did,” he mumbled, already almost asleep.

“That’s what I thought,” John said, humming against Rodney’s neck before closing his eyes. He was more than happy to have his cake and let Rodney eat it too.


	37. Illustrations

His breath hitches. Fingers drawing lazy patterns against tightened nipples, one hand splayed low on his belly. He doesn’t let himself do this often, but when he does, he savors it, taking his time, making it good, making it last.

A nail flicks over his nipple and he moans, biting his bottom lip to muffle the sound. Long, slender fingers slide down, down until they’re curling loosely around his half-hard cock. His eyes are closed and he concentrates on his breathing, steadying himself, drawing it out; he doesn’t want this to be over before it's even really has a chance to begin.

The snick of a cap and cool, slick fingers trail down the underside of his cock, sweeping back up in a fast, hard, tight jerk of a fist and his hips buck off the bed.

He tells himself that this will be the last time, that he’ll stop, but he knows it isn’t true. He needs this, _wants_ this with every fiber of his fucking being.

One slick finger slips between his parted cheeks, teasing gently before pressing inside, pushed in deep and then slowly pulled out. He’s relaxed, so relaxed that when two fingers push in, he opens for them easily with a gasp full of desire and he presses down, craving the feeling and fucks himself on them until he’s writhing on the bed. 

The hand on his cock squeezes once, twice and then slides up and down in a careful rhythm that leaves him teetering on the edge, just out of reach of what he needs to go over it. A quick swipe of a thumb over the head of his cock has him panting, throat working as he tries to swallow past the keening desperation clawing at him.

And then fingers are gone, replaced by the blunt tip, pushing inside, stretching him even wider and his voice is broken when he cries out, pressing down, welcoming the intrusion with a greedy twist of his hips.

He pauses, breathes deep, adjusting to the size, gasping in pleasure at feeling so full. He bears down, writhing on the bed as each thrust brushes against his prostate. He’s close now, so close and his feet are planted against the mattress, his hips bucking up before pressing back down again, wanting, needing more. Fingers around his cock again, stroking in a rhythm matching the one thrusting inside of him. He’s aching now, so hard it hurts, desperate for release. With a final thrust, he’s coming apart, spilling across his stomach, over the fist around his cock that is milking every last drop from his body, stretching every last tremor of his orgasm until he collapses in a boneless, sated heap.

In a little while he’ll clean up, tell himself again that this was the last time, but for right now he refuses to let thoughts of later touch the way he’s feeling at this moment in time—this small moment in time when he allows himself to feel real, feel whole and right and content.


	38. Santa Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I am not in anyway a fan of Carter, her being portrayed as "evil" in this is simply Rodney's POV from being forced into doing something he doesn't want to do and not meant to be taken as her being actually EVIL

“Oh no,” Rodney snapped, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at the woman sitting across from him. “No, no, no.”

“I can make it an order,” Carter replied sweetly and there was no other way to describe the glint in her eyes as anything but pure evil.

“You can’t force me to do this,” Rodney shouted, pushing himself up from his chair and stomping to the door. “There’s nothing you can say that is going to make me change my mind.”

“I can ground you from missions, force you to do your own paperwork instead of foisting it off on Radek and I can make sure the mess staff doesn’t serve chocolate for the next month – while accidentally letting it slip that Atlantis is chocolate deprived because of you. 

“You heartless bi--”

“Ah, ah, McKay,” Carter smiled, knowing she’d won. “I’m not completely without pity. I’ve even given you an assistant.”

Rodney narrowed his eyes. “Who?”

Carter’s grin widened. “Lieutenant Cadman is waiting for you in lab five for your fitting. Your assistant is already there.”

\--

Rodney stomped through the hallways of Atlantis, feeling his blood pressure rising with each step. He knew things were going to be bad with Carter in charge, but he’d never dreamed she’d be so petty and vindictive as to do _this_ to him.

\--

Cadman was smiling from ear to ear when he walked in, holding up some gaudy material she’d gotten from the Athosians. 

In the corner Rodney caught sight of his…assistant, dressed in green and wearing... “_Oh dear God_.”

\--

“Smile, McKay,” Carter muttered, elbowing him in his pillow stuffed stomach.

“I can’t believe you forced me into doing this!”

“Cheer up, McKay,” Sheppard said, throwing an arm around his shoulder. “Look how excited the kids are.” Sheppard was standing beside him in all his Elven glory. Rodney had to admit, Cadman had done a good job on the costumes; Sheppard looked exactly like a giant elf with pointy ears and jingle shoes.

“I won’t be held responsible for what I’ll do if any of those rugrats touch me,” Rodney muttered and John rolled his eyes. Rodney shifted the pillow inside his red suit and scratched at the beard on his face. “If I get hives from this – I don’t even want to know what animal died to make this beard - I’m murdering you all in your sleep.”

\--

“Tell Santa what you’d like for Christmas,” John urged the child now sitting on Rodney’s lap. She looked from John to Rodney and back again, her bottom lip quivering. Rodney grimaced. Wonderful.

“Smile, McKay,” Sheppard hissed into his ear, his own smile never wavering as he looked at the Pegasus version of Cindy Lou Who.

Rodney groaned quietly and turned to the little girl, mustering up his best smile and asking her what she wanted for Christmas.

And then she burst into tears.

John quickly scooped her up out of Rodney’s lap and deposited her back into her parent’s waiting arms.

“Way to go, McKay.”

“Hey,” Rodney muttered, voice low. “I told Carter this was a bad idea. You’d think after saving all your asses dozens of times over you’d start listening to me by now.”

“Shut up and smile,” John answered back, turning to grin at the little boy braving his way toward them. 

\--

Almost two hours later and Rodney had a migraine, his left eye was twitching and a third of the brats in the mess were sniffling into their mothers’ shoulders.

“Some assistant you turned out to be.” Rodney scowled at Sheppard’s elf hat. Wasn’t Sheppard supposed to distract the little brats so that they didn’t notice the fact that they were sitting on some stranger’s lap while he grilled them for their Christmas wish list?

Sheppard turned to him with a raised eyebrow and Rodney’ scowl deepened. He tossed his beard and Santa hat on one of the mess tables and yanked the oversized red jacket off his shoulders, the pillow following thereafter. He was hot and sweaty and wanted nothing more than to go back to his quarters and have a shower.

Unfortunately, the moment he shed his disguise, the rugrats that had spent the last hour crying suddenly stopped and struggled from their mothers’ arms. In moments Rodney found himself surrounded by almost a dozen children oozing various fluids and grinning at him.

“What?” he snapped, crossing his arms over his chest and taking a step back.

The little girl that had burst out crying first took a step closer and raised her arms in an obvious sign that she wanted to be picked up. Rodney just stared at her. 

John rolled his eyes and stepped forward, picking her up and depositing her in Rodney’s unwilling arms. 

She leaned in, one grubby hand clutching at Rodney’s t-shirt, and whispered in his ear. 

One by one each of the children that had been terrified of Rodney dressed as Santa Claus climbed into his lap (as John had shoved him into a chair, stopping his escape) and told him what they wanted for Christmas. Rodney hoped John was taking notes because he certainly wasn’t.

When the last child had toddled its way back to its parents, Rodney looked up to see John smirking. “What?”

John shrugged. “Nothing,” he said, gathering up Rodney’s costume. He nodded toward the door. “Come on, I think Carter will let you off the hook early.”

\--

Rodney gratefully followed John from the mess, happy to hear the sound of off key Christmas carols disappear as they walked down the hall. “I now know what hell is,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair.

Sheppard pushed him into his room, following on his heels, tossing the discarded costume on the floor. “It wasn’t that bad. The kids had fun. You did good, Rodney.”

Rodney just rolled his eyes, kicking off his boots and skimming out of the Santa pants. When he was standing there, in boxers and t-shirt, he eyed John, still dressed in his elf costume. “You know,” he said, moving into John’s space, “I think I might be developing an elf kink.”

John grinned, grabbing Rodney by his shirt front and pulling him closer. “I always knew you only loved me for my ears.”

Rodney’s hands skimmed under John’s shirt, splaying against his back before dipping under the waistband of his pants. “Oh,” he leaned in to mutter against John’s lips, “I can think of a few other reasons.”

“Hmmm,” John said, kissing Rodney messily before pulling back. “What say we take this to the bed and you can show me some of those reasons?”

Rodney grinned, his hand moving to cup John through his pants. “I don’t know,” he hedged, squeezing a little, grinning wider at John’s hiss of pleasure. “Have you been a good boy this year?”

John grabbed Rodney’s wrist and started walking him back toward the bed. “I’ve been very, _very_ naughty,” he whispered, low and dirty in Rodney’s ear. 

Rodney shivered, curling his hands in John’s shirt and yanking it over his head. “You better let me be the judge of that.”

John was only too happy to comply.


	39. Law Without Order

“We need to go over your testimony.”

“I’ve been on the stand before, McKay,” Detective Sheppard smirked. “I know the routine.”

Rodney looked up at him, eyes narrowed. “I’ve never lost a case. I’m the best district attorney this city has ever seen and I will not let my reputation be ruined by a messy haired, know-it-all detective who was too arrogant to make sure he got his facts straight before taking the stand.” 

John Sheppard’s hand automatically went to his hair, frowning when McKay smirked as he quickly dropped it back to the table in front of him. “It’s a cut and dry case, McKay. Our forensics guys have crossed all their t’s and dotted all their i’s. Kolya is going away for a long time.” They had this argument every time Sheppard was a witness for the prosecution, every time Rodney was the DA for the case in question. 

McKay crossed his arms, leaning against the wall at his back. “I wasn’t informed you were psychic as well—I guess there are still a few things I don’t know about you.” He rolled his eyes dramatically and unfurled his arms, pacing to the table and leaning his palms on the cool surface. “Kolya has half the city’s justice department in his back pocket.”

“Hammond wouldn’t be on Kolya’s payroll,” Sheppard said with a shake of his head, ignoring the way Rodney’s muscles flexed under the crisp whiteness of his dress shirt. “And besides, it’s unlikely he’s paid off the entire jury and we’ve got plenty of evidence to lock this guy away for a long time. Our guys did good. You’re being overly paranoid, McKay.” John grinned the same grin he used when trying to convince Rodney to try something new in the bedroom, his ‘trust-me-I-know-what-I’m-talking-about’ grin. 

Rodney huffed, lowering himself into the seat opposite Sheppard. “Where were you on the night in question?”

John rolled his eyes--the grin worked just as well today—shifting in his seat he sighed dramatically, ignoring Rodney’s quirked eyebrow and smug grin—it was going to be a long afternoon.


	40. 1+1=Sex

He didn't pay any attention to the Major and Zelenka at first, assuming that Radek had simply needed someone to turn on one of the ancient gadgets and didn't want to disturb him so he contacted Sheppard.

Rodney continued working on his latest project to try and divert more power from their generators into Atlantis' systems, but little by little his attention was beginning to focus on the two men on the other side of the room.

Radek was talking about some equation he was working on, something Rodney had glanced at but hadn't really had the time to sit down and help the man work out. What Rodney couldn’t figure out was why Zelenka was even mentioning it to the Major.

Then he heard something that made him feel like he was in a bad episode of _The Outer Limits _John Sheppard was actually helping Zelenka with the equation and it sounded like he knew what he was talking about. Rodney had suspected all along that the man wasn't your every day military grunt but he'd never realized the man was--smart...really, really smart.

Rodney tried to return to his work, tried to tune out Sheppard spouting numbers left and right--in the end he sat at his desk, stared at his laptop and prayed to a deity he didn't believe in that no one would notice the massive hard on he was sporting just because John 'don't hate me because I'm beautiful' Sheppard was smart.

He was doing fine; managing to look like he was actually working rather than trying desperately not to come in his pants right up until the point Sheppard walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey McKay." Rodney shivered at the touch; sending a thrill straight to his groin and making him scoot closer to his desk.

"Major."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," Rodney answered stiffly.

"Are you sure? You look a little flushed."

Rodney mentally groaned, "I'm fine--was there something you wanted?" He tried to ignore the flush creeping up his neck again. At this rate Carson was going to have him in the infirmary because of the stroke he was about to have any minute!

"Just thought I'd say 'Hi'," John grinned. "I'll catch you later."

"Yes, yes whatever--goodbye Major." Rodney sighed in relief as he watched the man disappear from his lab. Taking a deep breath he willed his body to behave. 

When his hard-on had subsided a little--enough for it not to be obvious, Rodney headed for his quarters. Walking inside he mentally closed and locked the door stripping off his jacket and shirt.

He yelped when arms slid around his waist, jumping out of the embrace and spinning on his heels. "Wha--what the hell are you doing here?"

John Sheppard grinned as he stepped closer. "I thought you might like to...talk."

"Talk?" Rodney squeaked, taking another step back from Sheppard's touch.

"You seemed quite interested in the equation I was helping Zelenka with," he said with a smirk. "I thought maybe I'd see if you needed any help with some of your own equations."

Rodney frowned, feeling completely lost--his own equations? Then John stepped forward again, this time leaning in and pressing his lips to Rodney's, licking his way into Rodney's mouth, tasting him with each breath. 

John broke the kiss, panting for breath as he leaned his forehead against Rodney's. "If I'd have known that all it would take to turn you on was a little math I would have been spouting numbers at you months ago."

Rodney's fingers slid into John's hair as he pulled him into another kiss, breaking it with a grin. "Guess you better start making up for lost time then," he answered seductively as his hand slipped into the waistband of John's pants.

John bucked into the touch, moaning against Rodney’s mouth. “That, I can definitely do.”


	41. Downtime

John whistled as he walked towards Rodney's lab with two cups of fresh brewed coffee. A few times a week John would ply Rodney with coffee and woo him away from the lab for a few hours--to play The Game, to grab some supper, play a few games of chess or...and this was John's favorite...get sweaty and naked and sticky together.

He strolled into the lab Rodney shared with Radek, a wide grin on his face. Just as he was about to announce his presence he frowned, moving silently towards Rodney's lab area. "Where did you get that?" John demanded.

Rodney's eyes were closed and he was humming in pleasure, his lips wrapped around a bar of the good chocolate, the chocolate they ran out of a month ago. "Lorne," Rodney moaned and John saw red because John's name was the only one that should sound like that coming from Rodney.

"Lorne?" he gritted out, placing the two cups of coffee onto the lab table with a dull thump. "Why is Lorne bringing you chocolate?" John hissed.

Rodney opened his eyes and tilted his head to the side, eyes narrowed as he stared at John. And then they opened comically wide and Rodney beamed, pointing a finger at John as he crowed, "You're jealous!"

John grabbed Rodney's wrist and shoved his arm down to his side. "I am not jealous," John said, trying to sound calm. "I'd just like to know what the hell my second in command is doing giving chocolate to my..." He floundered on the word because he and Rodney hadn't ever really talked about what they were to each other. But John had _thought_ it went without saying...

Rodney smirked, leaning in closer and whispering, "Your significant other? Your lover? Your _boyfriend_?" John scowled. "Relax," Rodney said soothingly. "Lorne isn't trying to woo me away from you with chocolate." John's scowl deepened and he crossed his arms over his chest. "Parrish is allergic to chocolate. Told Lorne he had to get rid of his entire stash or he was cut off." Rodney smirked, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet. 

John quirked an eyebrow at Rodney, his stance relaxing a little. "And he gave it to you...out of the goodness of his heart?"

"He gave it to me," Rodney said smugly, "because I decide which of my monkeys gets the weekend off."

John grinned. "Let me guess, Parrish had a few days downtime coming to him?"

Rodney reached for the coffee John had placed on the table, grinning widely. "Quite the coincidence," he said with a nod.

John shifted a little closer. "So, just how much chocolate did Lorne give you?"

Rodney's eyes sparkled. "Enough to ensure _our_ downtime is _very_...sweet."


	42. One Small Step...

"I flew the damn shuttle!"

"And I designed it!" Rodney countered, glaring at John as they floated in front of the hatch.

"Look Rodney," John said in his 'let's be reasonable' voice. "This is a US mission."

"And you think that justifies me stepping aside and letting your big feet touch Mars first? Are you not getting enough oxygen in that EVA suit?" Rodney snorted, reaching for the hatch handle.

The door opened and he turned to give John a smug look, his eyes widening when he saw John propelling himself forward. Their arms tangled and they both fell from the hatch opening, landing side by side on the red surface of Mars.

Rodney blinked. "Ow."

John groaned and rolled to his feet. "That worked much better in my head."

Rodney glowered at him from the ground. "You are SO cut off!"

"Aw Rodney," John pouted. "I've still got chocolate." He waggled his eyebrows, grinning when Rodney rolled his eyes and held out a hand. 

"It better be the good kind."


	43. Better

The first time it happened they were on an adrenaline rush after yet another near death experience; lips and teeth and tongue dueling as they tore off dusty and ripped clothes to fall wrapped together onto the bed. The only sound in the room was their pants and grunts as they frantically thrust against one another; first one and then the other gasping as their release spilled between them.

Catching his breath, John rolled to his feet pulling on his BDUs and slipping out the door. Rodney was already in the shower washing away the remains of the mission and their combined come.

Neither spoke about it, neither asked for a repeat performance. They both understood that it was a moment of weakness, two friends helping each other out with no expectations, no strings attached.

***

The second time it happened, Rodney had almost been killed in a lab explosion that left him trapped in the rapidly filling remains of the east pier lab the science team had discovered a week before. After being released from the infirmary and dragging himself tiredly back towards his quarters he entered to find John waiting. No words were spoken as John pinned Rodney to the wall, hands quickly undoing his pants before John fell to his knees, sucking Rodney down with single minded abandon, one hand already reaching for his own pants. Thumping his head against the wall Rodney's orgasm was ripped from him by John's hot, wet mouth and talented tongue.

When he opened his eyes John was tossing a kleenex into the trash, clothes already back in order as he headed towards the door. Rodney stripped out of his remaining clothes, flopping onto his bed and succumbing to the pull of sleep.

Things went on as normal, Rodney bitched and complained and saved their asses on a near daily basis while John flirted and scored with the newest alien princess before saving their asses almost as often as Rodney.

***

The tenth time it happened John had flown a puddle jumper on yet another suicide mission, managing to come out of it safe and alive and Rodney shoved him against the wall of an empty storage closest mumbling into warm skin as he licked a trail down John's stomach towards the waiting erection poking him in the chin. John closed his eyes, pretending not to hear the worry, the panic and relief in Rodney's whispered words, pretending this was still just a buddy-fuck and nothing more.

When John opened his eyes he looked down at Rodney's bowed head, slumped shoulders and slid his fingers into Rodney's baby soft hair, curling his other hand around Rodney's bicep and pulling him up and into his arms, letting Rodney bury his face against his neck.

***

The last time it happened Rodney and John were drunk, watching some poorly written sci-fi movie. Rodney made fun of the bad science; John smirked and poured another shot for each of them. When the credits rolled, Rodney stumbled to his feet and away from the bed only to have John grab his wrist and pull him back down. Covering Rodney's body with his own, John focused on the wide crooked mouth, the glazed blue eyes and leaned down, nipping at Rodney's bottom lip.

They took their time, exploring each other's bodies until, for the first time, John slid home inside Rodney, groaning at the tightness, the heat, the rightness of the moment. His arms wrapped around Rodney's chest, pulling him back against his own, one hand over Rodney's heart, the other wrapping around Rodney's leaking cock.

Collapsing together, John pressed a satiated kiss against Rodney's shoulder before pulling a blanket over them as exhaustion and booze and post-coital euphoria lulled them to sleep.

Rodney woke first, slipping out of John's room before any of the other personnel woke up to begin the day, a smile on his face as he crawled into his own bed for a few more hours of sleep.

At breakfast that morning John's freak out was apparent as he jumped from the table the moment Rodney sat down, disappearing from the mess and hiding out the rest of the day.

Rodney barked at his scientists, made three new expedition members cry before finally stumbling back to his room at three in the morning.

John was waiting, face grim and Rodney narrowed his eyes. "Don't."

"Rodney..."

"I've been through this more times than I care to admit, Colonel. I know the routine."

"I'm sorry."

Rodney snorted as he pushed passed John towards the bathroom. "Your kind always are--"

"Hey--"

Rodney stopped and turned, "I know I'm a bastard most of the time but I damn well deserve better than this--" Kicking his shoes off, he walked into the bathroom, "Don't be here when I get out."

"I don't want to lose you as a friend--" John's voice was dull and it stabbed at Rodney sharper than the knife Koyla's grunt had used to slice into his arm.

"I can do my job, this won't affect my ability to be an asset to the team," Rodney answered, not turning. "But when we're here--we're not friends, Colonel...not anymore."

Rodney didn't wait for John's answer as he stepped into the washroom, the door hissing shut and blocking the stricken look on John's face. Stepping under the spray of the shower he told himself he wouldn't let this happen again, wouldn't let himself get attached, wouldn't let himself fall...

And if a few stray tears escaped unbidden from his lowered lashes, the shower washed them away.


	44. Fascination

The new recruits from Earth arrived on Atlantis, bags in tow, eyes bright with anticipation, taking in their surroundings with awe. That is, until Colonel Sheppard appeared at the top of the stairs to greet them. They snapped of perfect salutes, backs straightening, eyes front and center.

Lorne watched in amusement as Sheppard let out a soft sigh of resignation, returning their salute – sloppily – and telling them all to relax. Not one soldier moved a muscle.

Sheppard frowned a moment before stuffing his hands in his pockets, descending the stairs and eyeing the group of men now under his command. Lorne followed behind him, fighting a smirk as he saw the men twitching under Sheppard’s stare.

Then the Colonel slouched with his shoulder pressed against the wall, crossed his arms over his chest, his ankles over each other and began his ‘welcome to Atlantis’ speech. As far as speeches go it wasn’t the best Lorne had heard, but it did the job well enough. All around the men started to relax, smiling at the jokes Sheppard was making, giving half-laughs, not sure if they should believe him when he warned them about McKay. And then Sheppard passed the group on to Lorne and strolled from the room, hands back in his pockets, more than likely on his way to McKay’s lab.

It was old hat by now, filling the men and women in on what was expected of them, what they could expect here. Explaining to them that Sheppard was actually very serious about his warnings – you never messed with McKay, and if you were smart, you wouldn’t mess with any of the scientists. The military were there to protect the civilians but the truth was the scientists more often than not were the ones coming up with the plans to save all their asses.

Then he sent them on their way, letting Cortez show them to the section of quarters they were assigned to.

That just left the new scientists.

Lorne hurried down the hall, not wanting to miss the show. Rodney was in charge of welcoming the newbies, filling them in on what was expected and what they were and weren’t permitted to do. Lorne always got a kick out of watching as each scientist’s face, at first so full of wonder at being on _Atlantis_ fell when they realized that, until McKay believed they weren’t idiots…or at the very least, weren’t idiots that were going to blow them all up, they weren’t allowed access to _any_ of the Ancient tech. The toys as Sheppard liked to call them.

Lorne slipped into the back of the room, grinning as Rodney took a deep breath, ready to begin. He wasn’t too late – he could still see the look of awe on the new scientists faces. Sheppard was there too, slouching, once again, against a wall, smirking at the back of Rodney’s head and winking at the scientists.

Lorne rolled his eyes. Most of the women blushed, not to mention half the men. McKay would kill Sheppard if he distracted his scientists. And worse yet, Lorne had no doubts that if McKay caught Sheppard flirting with the newbies that not only would Sheppard be taking cold, cold showers…he’d be taking them alone.

That was something else the new personnel would have to get used to. Things were different on Atlantis. It was a multi-national expedition and all those long engrained stereotypes and prejudices had no place here.

It had never bothered him, Sheppard and McKay’s relationship. Both men did their jobs and did them well. It didn’t matter to Lorne who they were fucking as long as they didn’t let it interfere with their duties on and off Atlantis. And the new personnel would learn to feel the same way, or would be sent back home. There was no room on Atlantis for people that couldn’t adapt to the way things were done here.

The scientists’ eyes started to get wide, Rodney’s voice echoing around the room. There were a few that started protesting, but the look on Rodney’s face silenced them at once. Finally winding down, Rodney looked critically over the group of men and women and said, “What are you still doing here?”

Zelenka led the group out of the lab, leaving Rodney and Sheppard at the front of the room. Sheppard clapped a hand to Rodney’s shoulder and Rodney gave a crooked little grin, his eyes shining. Turning from the room Lorne thought with some amusement that McKay might enjoy this welcoming thing a little too much; nothing like crushing the spirits of your minions to put a smile on your face.

Lorne found himself in the mess, watching the bustle as all the new military and science members huddled in groups, talking about the city, about McKay, about Sheppard, the rest of the Atlantis personnel that they had met. Excitement, awe, disappointment, anger, amusement, confusion – there was a touch of all of those emotions coloring the voices in the mess hall. 

In the corner, Lorne could see one man – a scientist – sitting alone, eating his meal and staring at one of the ten thousand year old dead plants that they just never seemed to remember to get rid of. The man was staring at it in awe, wonder in his eyes as the fork made it to his mouth purely by chance, so little attention he was paying to what he was doing.

Lorne’s feet carried him over to the man. He slid his own tray on the table and took a seat opposite him. The man was tall, a bit skinny, but handsome in his own way. He was a little unkempt, but Lorne had come to realize most of the scientists looked that way for the first few weeks on Atlantis. None of them seemed to care about their appearance at all, so engrossed in what they were seeing, finding, learning in the city. Once they settled in, and Rodney did some bitching about grooming habits, they looked a little less like mad scientists and more like members of the greatest expedition ever undertaken by Earth.

“Hey,” Lorne said, shifting into the man’s line of sight. 

“Oh,” the man answered, blinking in confusion before blushing. “Hi.” He gestured to the plant. “Sorry, I was lost in my own little world there for a moment. It’s just – this place – it’s…”

Lorne smiled. “Yeah, she’s quite a city. Sorry about the dead plants,” he said ruefully. “We’ve never really gotten around to throwing them away yet.”

“Throwing them away?” The man looked shocked and horrified. “You can’t!”

“Excuse me?” Lorne looked over at the plant in confusion. “It’s just a dead plant.”

“Just a dead plant?” The man shook his head as if he felt sorry for Lorne. “It’s more than a dead plant…um…” He looked at Lorne’s uniform, obviously hoping to find his rank somewhere. 

Taking pity on him, Lorne stuck out his hand saying, “Major Nick Lorne.”

“Oh, um, David Parrish. Nice to meet you Major.” David said, shaking Lorne’s hand, smiling.

Lorne grinned. “Parrish,” he said with a nod. “Nice to meet you too. Welcome to Atlantis.”

Parrish beamed. “The city is amazing. I was actually worried that there wouldn’t be anything _in_ the city for me to study.”

Lorne raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t think there’d be anything to study in Atlantis?”

Parrish shook his head, his eyes drifting back to the dead plant. “No. But I’m so happy to have been mistaken. You see, that’s why you can’t get rid of the dead plants, Major,” David said, turning back to Lorne and grinning. “I’m a botanist. I study plants.”

“Ah,” Lorne said in understanding, smiling at Parrish. “Well in that case, I’ll just have my men deliver all the dead plants to your lab.”

Parrish’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

Lorne laughed, shaking his head. “I was kidding, Parrish. I don’t think McKay would be too happy with me if I filled up one of his labs with dead plants. And McKay is not someone you want to be on the bad side of.”

“Oh,” David said, nodding and looking disappointed. 

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to let you have a couple of them,” Lorne conceded, suddenly feeling bad about bursting Parrish’s bubble.

David’s face brightened. “That would be wonderful. Thank you, Major.” Parrish was looking at Lorne like he was the best thing since sliced bread and Lorne was a little embarrassed to admit that he kind of like it. It had been a long time since anyone looked at him like that.

Lorne shifted in his seat, reaching for his coffee. “So, a botanist huh?”

David nodded, digging into his meal with sudden appetite. “Yes, I’ve always been fascinated by plants.”

“Fascinated by plants,” Nick said slowly, grinning with a shake of his head. 

David grinned a little sheepishly. “It probably seems silly to someone like you.”

“Like me?”

“You’re in the military. Big guns, big planes, big explosions…”

Lorne snorted. “I think you’ve been watching too many movies, Doc. That’s part and parcel of the job, but I’m not just a grunt.” 

David looked stricken. “Oh no, no I didn’t mean it like that.” His hand flailed in the air for a moment, dropping suddenly to the table. He looked at Lorne, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Major. I didn’t mean to imply…”

“It’s okay,” Lorne said, holding up a hand to forestall anymore stuttering apologies. “No harm done.”

Shaking his head, David stared at his plate. “I’m afraid I’m not very good with social situations.” He looked up and smiled self deprecatingly, saying “I’m better with plants.”

“Nah,” Lorne said, winking. “You’re doing fine. I haven’t dumped my fava bean pasta on you or anything. In my books, we can call this a successful social encounter.”

David laughed, relaxing again.

Lorne’s comm. went off and he reached up and tapped it, responding. Sheppard wanted him to show the new recruits the gym – and introduce them to Teyla and Ronon…and the floor mats.

“Duty calls,” Lorne said with a phony sigh. He shook David’s hand again, letting the handshake last a little longer than strictly necessary, watching Parrish’s eyes get a little wider. “I’ll see you around, Doc. Maybe next time you can tell me what you find so fascinating about these dead plants.” He winked at Parrish and watched in amusement as the man blushed.

David nodded, a smile lighting up his whole face, cheeks still pink. “I’d like that, Major.”


	45. Diversion

“McKay, can you come to my office please?” John tapped his comm., ignoring the huff from Rodney and grinning at the acquiescent reply before tapping his link off again. He’d been doing reports for Elizabeth for over six hours now and he urgently needed a break.

When Rodney stomped into his office, John mentally shut and locked the door changing the walls from clear to opaque. “What?” Rodney snapped, arms crossing over his chest.

“Hello to you too, Rodney,” John smirked.

Rodney just rolled his eyes, “I know you didn’t drag me away from the lab for small talk, Colonel.” The glare he sent John’s way told him in no uncertain terms that for his sake, he’d really better have a valid reason for pulling Rodney away from his work.

John shrugged, leaning back in his seat and placing his hands behind his head. Disregarding the glower from Rodney, John let his eyes roam over Rodney’s body, head to foot and back again, leering suggestively. “I just thought you could use a break.”

Rodney’s brow furrowed before understanding dawned, “Oh…oh!” John grinned as Rodney walked towards him and around his desk. “Okay, okay but only for a few minutes, I really have to get back to the lab. Zelenka and I think we’ve figured out a way to recharge the ZPMs and if I leave him alone too long, he’s liable to blow something up…”

John pushed him into a seated position on his desk, hands sliding up and down Rodney’s thighs distracting him into silence as he situated himself between Rodney’s legs. Reaching for the zipper on Rodney’s pants John glanced up; face a mask of innocence, “You were saying?”

“Uh…” Rodney’s eyes closed, tongue darting out to lick his lips, hands curling around the edge of the desk; he lifted his hips slightly to allow John to free his growing erection.

Grinning John wrapped his fingers around the base of Rodney’s cock, “That’s what I thought.” 

Rodney gasped at the first contact of John’s tongue to his cock, eyes opening wide as he watched his lover swirl his tongue around the tip. John’s eyes never left Rodney’s as he took the head of Rodney’s cock into his mouth gently sucking while he slipped his other hand into Rodney’s boxers to cup his balls.

He moaned, hips rising off the desk to thrust deeper into John’s mouth. John released Rodney’s cock, blowing warm air on the moist tip, loving the way Rodney began to pant, mumbling incoherently as his fingers clenched and unclenched the edge of the desk.

Sliding his chair closer to Rodney and wrapping his arms under and around him John lifted Rodney’s hips off the desk as he slid his mouth down the hard shaft. Hands urging Rodney to thrust deeper, harder, and faster; relaxing his throat John swallowed.

“Oh god, John,” Rodney rasped breathily as the muscles in John’s throat squeezed his cock. “Fuck yeah,” his knuckles were white on the desk edge and he thrust once, twice, three times before letting out a satisfied moan as he came, heart pounding in his chest, sweat sliding down his temples. 

Rodney’s now spent cock slipped from John’s mouth as he slid his chair back, licking his lips and grinning at Rodney looking so thoroughly debauched. 

Tucking himself back into his pants Rodney slid from the desk, lowering himself to his knees and reaching to free John from his own confinement. John’s breath hitched when the cool office air hit his leaking cock, hips rising to meet Rodney’s hot mouth.

Hollowing his cheeks, Rodney quickly slid up and down the length of John’s shaft, tongue and teeth and insistent sucking increasing the pleasure as John gripped the armrests of his chair, breath coming in harsh pants. Swallowing John deeply, Rodney tightened his fingers on John’s hips urging him towards climax.

With a strangled cry John arched into Rodney’s mouth, gasping as Rodney swallowed every drop before letting John slip from his mouth. With a final lick to the head of John’s cock that sent an aftershock of pleasure through him Rodney stood, grinning down at his lover as he sat breathless, cock still hanging limply from his pants. 

“That’s a good look for you,” Rodney murmured as he leaned over to draw John into a hot, sloppy kiss. Brain still shorted out from orgasm, John simply grunted in agreement, nipping at Rodney’s lower lip. 

Jumping slightly at the click of his office door unlocking, John scrambled to tuck himself back into his pants sending a glare towards a smirking Rodney. Straightening his clothes Rodney headed towards the door, “Better get those reports finished…you never know when you might be called away.” With a wink Rodney was out the door.

John rushed through the rest of his reports, a grin spreading over his face as he planned his next ‘break’.


	46. Moonlight

It’s still the middle of the night, the twin moons shining through the translucent window, the only light in the room. The light casts an eerie glow across pale, naked skin, leaving shadows in its wake as it dances along strong curves of muscle.

He awoke only moments ago, eyes adjusting to the dimness of the room, focusing on the body beside him. Shifting carefully so as not to wake his lover, he moves to his side, head propped on his hand, to watch the shimmering patterns kiss the lines of his lover’s body, spilling across the places his own lips had kissed, his teeth had grazed, only hours before.

Reaching out, he softly traces with calloused fingertips across lean shoulders, down the smooth curve of spine, sweeping over ass cheek to firm thigh and back again. A shiver from his sleeping lover has him stopping his exploration, pausing until he is sure sleep has pulled him back under.

His questing fingers begin to move again, slipping gently between the cleft of his partner’s ass, lazy circles teasing the still slick opening. Another shift, his lover’s leg bending, opens him wider as he burrows deeper into his pillow.

A gentle push and the tip of his finger slips inside, moving deeper still, before slowly easing back out. He takes his time, reveling in the expected warmth, and the unexpected wetness still hidden inside his lover’s body. 

He can feel himself hardening at the thought as his finger thrusts in and out, wet from his own come. Adding a second finger he grins as his lover stirs, lazily pressing back against the welcome intrusion in his body. John’s head turns on the pillow, hazel eyes half lidded from sleep and lust stare at him, silently urging him on. He clenches his muscles, pulling Rodney’s fingers deeper as he presses his hips into the mattress. Rodney feels his cock twitch as he remembers the tightness of John surrounding him, the all encompassing heat as he met Rodney thrust for thrust; the way John looked with his head thrown back, panting as Rodney’s thrusts tagged his prostate with each subsequent penetration. 

Leaning down slightly, he presses a kiss to John’s shoulder blade before pulling back, never breaking the rhythm his fingers are following; he’s not in a hurry, he can take his time. 

Three fingers and John is gasping, hips grinding into the mattress. Rodney hasn’t changed his pace, thrusting languidly to a rhythm only he knows. Twisting his fingers Rodney rubs John’s prostate causing him to buck against the bed, panting into the pillow his arms are wrapped around.

He pulls his fingers free and guides John to his side so that they’re face to face. Raising John’s leg he pulls it over his hip, John fitting snug against him. Slipping his hand between John’s legs he slides his fingers back inside resuming his thrusting; crooking his fingers with each inward push and hitting John’s prostate over and over again. 

John’s leg tightens around him, his cock hard and leaking as he rocks against Rodney. He slides his fingers into Rodney’s hair, leaning in to lick at Rodney’s bottom lip before sucking it slowly into his mouth. 

He pushes his tongue into Rodney’s open mouth, groaning when Rodney’s tongue pushes back fighting for control. He surrenders, bucking faster against Rodney as his fingers stop thrusting, now stroking quickly over John’s prostate in constant sweeping circles sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout his body, tension building in the base of his spine.

John’s hand wraps around his cock stroking hard and fast; drawing him ever closer to the edge. Pulling away from Rodney’s mouth with a gasp, John buries his face against Rodney’s neck, grunting and panting as he thrusts into his own fist and then back onto Rodney’s fingers. 

Feeling his balls draw up John bites down on Rodney’s shoulder, Rodney’s moan enough to send John over the edge, come spurting hot and sticky between them. 

John goes limp, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. Rodney rolls him onto his back, sliding John’s legs up over his shoulders as he pushes into him, jerking his hips in rapid succession, burying himself deeper with each thrust until finally he comes with a silent cry of John’s name.

Sliding his legs from Rodney’s shoulders John pulls him down, capturing his mouth in a deep kiss, arms wrapped tightly around Rodney’s body. Moonlight fills the room, casting their shadows, bodies entwined along the wall of their quarters. Relaxing, Rodney feels John’s fingers tracing down his back lulling him deeper into sleep leaving a smile on his face.


	47. Moving On

“What the hell do you mean it’s over?”

“Look John—we both know this...whatever this is between us, isn’t worth you getting hurt if people found out about us, and I just can’t keep sneaking around waiting for someone to catch us and rat us out to Elizabeth. It just makes sense to end things now before something...I don’t know, before something happens.” Rodney paced back and forth in front of John, never looking him in the eye, wanting desperately for him to just agree and leave, so Rodney could deal with the pain in private.

“You mean before we develop deeper feelings for one another?” Sheppard asked, folding his arms across his chest. “News flash, Rodney — it’s too late.”

Rodney paused, bringing his eyes to John’s — what he saw, making his heart beat faster… John cared for him, maybe more than he thought possible. Shaking his head, he forced himself to stay firm — he couldn’t chance someone trying to oust John as head military officer, couldn’t chance that Elizabeth would be okay with it — he’d learned a long time ago that ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ was a rule for a reason — a very good reason. 

“It’s not up to you John; I’ve made up my mind. It’s over.”

“Well tough, because I’ve made up my mind too — it’s not over.”

“We can argue all you like Major,” Rodney snapped, “but that won’t change the fact that I refuse to be involved with you any longer.”

“God, you can be such a bastard!” John growled, pushing his hands through his hair.

“You’re just now figuring this out?” 

“Look, I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks about our relationship Rodney, and you shouldn’t either!”

“I won’t be responsible for you getting court marshaled!” Rodney hissed.

“I won’t…”

“Stop being so damned stubborn!” Rodney grounded out, pushing Sheppard towards the doors while mentally thinking them open. “It’s over — end of discussion!” he harshly whispered as he pushed John through the doors and let them slide closed.

He sat himself in front of his laptop, forcing his mind to stop thinking about John — stop thinking about how much it hurt to push him away and to start thinking about what was important now — his work. 

He lost track of time, immersing himself in his latest project. He’d almost managed to stop thinking about John, too — almost. With a frustrated sigh, he pushed himself away from his bedroom desk, stretching before calling it a night. Maybe after some sleep, things wouldn’t be so painful. He’d get over John — force himself to… he wouldn’t let himself be responsible for another person being court marshaled — wouldn’t lose John like that.

He’d changed into sweats and his favorite T-shirt, displaying he was a genius in big bold blue lettering, and was about to climb into his bed when his door whooshed opened. He watched a large bag being thrown into the room, followed closely by another. Moving quickly towards the door so he could see who exactly was trying to use his room for storage, he was shocked to see a bag being flung towards him. Catching it awkwardly, he dropped it and glared at the man in front of him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked, glowering at the smirk on John’s face.

“What does it look like? I’m moving in.” 

Rodney felt his jaw drop and his eyes widened. “Are you crazy? Oh my god, you aren’t you? I knew Chaya scrambled your brain cells when she went all glowing squid on you,” Rodney rambled more to himself than John, as he began pushing John’s bags back out into the hallway.

“She didn’t scramble anything, and I’m not crazy — stop that!” John slapped Rodney’s hands away from his bags as he threw them back into his room.

“You are NOT moving in with me, Major!”

“I think after what we’ve been doing for the past three months, I deserve to be called by my name.” He gave Rodney a winning smile and a peck on the cheek before hefting the last bag into the room.

“Get out!”

“Nope,” John threw the bag on top of the others, kicking off his boots and reaching for his belt. He stripped to t-shirt and boxers before climbing under Rodney’s blankets. Stretching as he tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable, he rolled away from his lover with a mumbled, “Get the lights, Rodney.”

Rodney was still standing in the middle of the room, his brain disputing the ‘genius’ on his t-shirt by being extra sluggish tonight. He glanced at the floor, at everything John owned, before looking back to the man snuggled deeply under his covers. He walked towards the bed, losing the sweats and climbing in behind John.

“You’re still not moving in with me,” he grumbled, throwing his arm over John’s waist. 

“Shut up and go to sleep,” John answered sleepily, before rolling over and placing a chaste kiss on Rodney’s lips, “You’re not getting rid of me that easy.” Draping his leg over Rodney’s thigh, he closed his eyes, whispering, “I love you,” as he entwined their fingers together. 

Rodney sighed happily, squeezing John’s hand, “I love you too...bastard.” He grinned as John’s laughter vibrated through him before closing his eyes and drifting off into sleep — things would work themselves out, for now the only thing that mattered was the man wrapped in his arms.


	48. Perfect

Hindsight is a bitch.

Rodney can see, clear as day, the moment things went from ‘we’d be glad to be trading partners’ to ‘kill them all’.

It doesn’t matter now—he can’t change anything.

Night is falling and they’re still trapped, cut off from the gate, waiting for Teyla and Ronon, waiting for a rescue.

The silence bothers him the most.

No, that’s not true—the blood coating his hands, his clothes, the ground—that bothers him the most.

He tosses another blood soaked bandage to the corner of the cave they are hiding in, pressing a fresh one to the still bleeding gash in John’s side. With shaking fingers he reaches for John’s neck, eyes closed as he mutters, ”Come on, come on”, sighing when he finally finds John’s pulse. It’s slow but still there for which he is grateful. Now if the cavalry would just get here…

With his fingers pressed to John’s skin he can feel the clamminess, knows he’s losing too much blood and is painfully aware that there’s nothing he can do about it. He carefully pulls John into a seated position between his legs, hand never easing the pressure he’s putting on the wound. Leaning against the cave wall, Rodney wraps his arms around John’s body, trying to share as much body heat as he can, trying to forcibly hold back John’s life that is drip, drip, dripping away—through the bandage, through his fingers and onto his pant-leg. 

Rodney watches with a twisted sense of fascination as the stain on his leg grows. He wonders if, when the rescue finally comes, all he’ll have to show for his efforts in saving John will be a ruined uniform and a lifeless body.

He tries not to lose hope but the silence is getting to him, the darkness creeping in, slowly beginning to hide from his eyes all traces of John’s blood. Rodney bows his head to John’s shoulder; their cheeks pressed together. “I will be so unbelievably pissed if you die on me.” His voice is little more than a harsh whisper and he’s swallowing passed a too tight throat, closing his eyes against the stinging, “We were supposed to grow old together.” He tightens his hold, voice cracking as he continues, “Or at the very least, we were supposed to die together. Something terribly romantic or heroic—not hiding in a dank, dark cave on some god-forsaken planet waiting for a rescue that still hasn’t fucking come.”

Rodney keeps talking, keeps babbling nonsense just to keep the silence away, to distract himself from the body in his arms. "It's so like you," he whispers against John's neck, "to die before I got the chance to..." He pulls John closer, lips pressed to the cool, clammy skin under them. 

"You're fucking up my schedule," Rodney laughs a little hysterically. "I had it all planned--we were supposed to spend another eighteen days snarking at each other--foreplay is very important--and then after a casual movie night in my quarters, or maybe yours..." Rodney swallows back another laugh. What was he doing? This wasn't helping John; this wasn't using his fucking brilliant mind to save them. "I'd lean in and kiss you," his voice is barely there now, strained and tight as he swallows convulsively, not wanting to go on but unable to stop. 

"I never got passed that point," he says sadly. "I thought I'd have eighteen days to figure it out. You'd either freak out and leave--a possibility I like to think is least likely--or...you'd kiss me back, tell me it was about fucking time. We'd have sex of course, and then we'd lay curled around each other," Rodney changes the bandages, his hands shaking as he pressed them back to John's side. "We'd be discreet--despite what you think, I can keep a secret--until your idiotic military abolished its archaic 'don't ask, don't tell' policy."

Checking his watch Rodney sees it's been almost seven hours since they got cut off. He takes a deep breath, fingers sliding to John's neck, counting off his heartbeats. Are they slower now? "We wouldn't need to hide anymore--but of course we live with the best and so called brightest Earth has to offer so no one would be surprised." Rodney's fingers are pressing harder against John's neck now, "Then we'd find a ZPM--a fully charged one--and Carson would figure out his drug...we'd stop the Wraith. Pegasus would become a peaceful galaxy and we'd have time to enjoy life, enjoy new discoveries, enjoy each other. You'd stop going on missions and so would I, taking our rightful places on Atlantis as head of military and science respectively. And then maybe, a few years down the road, you'd want to take part in some silly ritual—maybe Athosian—and we'd be married...grow old together on Atlantis."

Rodney's breathe hitches; he can't feel John's heartbeat anymore. He turns John's head, pressing his lips carefully to John's, a single tear sliding down his cheek, "It would have been perfect." His hand slides away from John's side, letting the bandage drop to the ground as he wraps his arms around him, eyes squeezed shut. In the distance he can hear gunfire, thinks, _cavalry is here_, and he laughs before he starts to sob..._too bad they're too late._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coverart by Layton Colt


	49. No More Dreams

He was making his final rounds of the city before turning in for the night. After the Wraith had been defeated he had started prowling the city corridors each night just to make sure they hadn't accidentally missed a stray wraith. Truth be told he started having trouble sleeping after so many losses, after Ford had taken off, and he hoped walking the halls would tire him to the point of simply needing to flop into bed for a dreamless nap--since naps seemed all he was able to get lately.

Glancing into Rodney's lab he was startled to see a bare foot in jeans sticking out from behind one of the many devices in the room. Walking silently towards the supine figure he wondered who could possibly be here in McKay's lab, so late without the man himself present, and in jeans no less. Craning his head over the side of the machine, John noticed the body buried to the shoulders under said machine was also wearing a green t-shirt that was currently pushed up revealing another shirt underneath.

The jeans clung snugly to the well-sculpted hips of their owner and the shirts did little to hide the muscular chest beneath them. John was sure lack of sleep must be starting to get to him, when he was standing in Rodney's lab admiring some strange body that was dressed more for a college campus than Atlantis, instead of asking what the hell this mystery person was doing in Rodney's lab at--glancing at his watch he raised an eyebrow--four in the morning. 

Clearing his throat, he grinned in satisfaction as the body on the floor jumped, a muffled curse preceding 'mystery man' from under the Ancient device. 

John's mouth fell open as the shoulders sliding out from under the machine turned out to belong to none other than Doctor Rodney McKay himself. A rather rumpled looking McKay.

"Are you trying to you give me a heart attack, Major?" Rodney groused as he ran a hand absently through his damp hair. What the hell was Rodney doing here dressed like that? Why the hell was Rodney's hair wet? And why hadn't he ever noticed how cute it looked sticking up in disarray? 

Cute? John was definitely sure the lack of proper sleep was getting to him.

"What are you doing still up, McKay? And what are you wearing? And why is your hair wet?" When in an awkward situation it's always a good plan to go on the offensive, right?

"Please, I can't function on any more than four hours of sleep a night. I realise that we've been in Pegasus for almost a year now, Major, but I didn't think that was enough to stop you from being able to recognise a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. And for your information--since you seem in the mood for twenty questions--my hair is wet because I just got out of the shower." 

And didn't that just give John images he didn't need right now. "You're barefoot," he pointed out.

Rodney rolled his eyes and walked towards his laptop. "Your powers of observation are astounding. It hardly seemed worth the wasted minutes to put on a pair of shoes at four in the morning when I'm the only one in the lab--or at least I would be." Rodney raised an eyebrow in silent inquiry as to what exactly Sheppard was doing here so late--or early, depending on your perception.

"I couldn't sleep, saw a light on, thought I'd check it out. I know how particular you are with your doohickies."

McKay powered down his laptop and walked towards John. "I appreciate your concern--no matter how unnecessary." 

John watched McKay walk by him and out of the lab, his bare feet making small shuffling slaps against the hard floors of Atlantis. Following him out he purposely stayed two steps behind, admiring the view of McKay in low riding, hip hugging jeans, his shirts stretched nicely across his broad shoulders. The halls were empty and John had a sudden urge to push Rodney against a wall, to slide a hand under those shirts, around the curve of that ass, to give in to the moment and not think about anything else but the skin beneath his fingertips.

He licked his lips just as Rodney stopped and spun on his heel. Rodney caught the quick movement of his tongue, a smirk tugging at his own lips, and John cursed himself for being so damn careless. It was one thing to give in occasionally to not-so-pure thoughts about his team mate and friend; it was another thing entirely to be so stupidly obvious about said thoughts. 

The mischievous gleam in McKay's eyes told John he'd definitely been caught out. Now it was just a matter of waiting for the other shoe to drop--preferably right on Rodney's head. 

"You okay, Major?"

"Fine," John answered. Short and to the point.

"You sure? You're looking a little flushed," Rodney pressed as he took a step closer. John forced himself not to step back, despite his brain screaming at him 'retreat! retreat!' When Rodney raised a hand to John's forehead to check for signs of fever, John's breath caught in his throat and he swallowed past the sudden dryness in his mouth. And when Rodney's fingers trailed down the side of John's face, down towards his neck, John's heartbeat increased tenfold. He wanted to step back, to make some off-hand sarcastic comment about Rodney not being that kind of doctor, but he couldn't seem to make his feet or tongue obey him.

When Rodney took a step closer into his personal space, John was sure the man would be able to hear his heart beating. He stood his ground, staring into the amused and--if John wasn't totally mistaken--lust filled eyes of his best friend. An embarrassing gulp escaped when he watched Rodney's eyes turn towards his mouth, then Rodney's thumb was tracing his bottom lip and it was everything John could do not to whimper at the contact as his eyes slid closed.

"Major?" John thought it odd that Rodney was calling him Major while his fingers were ghosting over his skin. It seemed a little impersonal, even for Rodney. "Major!"

John's head snapped up and he stared into the amused and slightly concerned face of his friend. "Rodney?"

"Come on, Major."

"What?"

"You dozed off in the middle of the hall--I think it's way past your bedtime." Rodney chuckled to himself, grabbing John's arm and pulling him down the corridor. 

It was only a dream.

John tried not to be too disappointed by that; after all, hadn't he spent the last four months stopping himself from acting on his attraction? It was better this way. Who knew when the next Wraith attack would come? They still had to finish repairing the damaged city and still had to find Ford. How could he possibly be thinking about anything else?

Pulling his arm out of McKay's hand, John stood straighter and nodded towards Rodney. "Thanks McKay--I think I can find my room on my own."

He didn't look back as he walked to his quarters, ignoring the desire to turn around, to grab Rodney and kiss him senseless. Ignored the ache in his heart as he realised he could never risk his friendship with Rodney, nor risk losing the respect of his men by succumbing to his attraction. He'd fought it for the last four months, he could keep on fighting it.

As he flopped onto his bed, eyes shut tightly; he told himself everything would be fine.

There were no more dreams.


	50. Mea Culpa

Eighteen months is the longest he’s ever been in a monogamous relationship—until Rodney.

He was honest going in; he didn’t do forever—Rodney had smiled crookedly, pulling him into a kiss, and told him to ‘shut up and get naked already’. That was three years ago. 

John watches the curve of Rodney’s neck; head bowed as he slowly unbuttons his shirt, the moonlight from the window making him hauntingly beautiful. Rodney’s head rises, his eyes catching the light, and John’s heart squeezes painfully. He’s loved this man from the moment Rodney shoved him against a wall and told him to get off his ass before a beautiful blue eyed blonde came along and snatched him up, right from under John’s nose. 

Rodney’s shirt is thrown over a chair as he leans against the window watching the waves lap lazily against the shore outside. John knows that Rodney is aware of him staring, knows he’s lying here awake—the silence is hanging thick in the air.

There’s so much he wants to say.

_I never promised you anything._

_It was only one time._

_It was only one night._

_I’m sorry._

_The silence goes on._

Rodney slides his pants down over muscled hips, letting them pool at his feet. He steps out of them, kicking them to the side as he wraps his arms around himself, shivering from the chill of the opened window.

John wants to tell Rodney to come to bed, to hold him in his arms and let his own blanket warmed body take the chill from Rodney’s goose-bump laden skin. Instead he waits, waits until Rodney turns and walks around to his side of the bed, until he slips under the blankets and turns onto his side with his back to John. Staring at the night sky visible through their opened bedroom window, John swallows thickly, whispering into the darkness, “For what it’s worth—I’m sorry.”

He can feel Rodney tense behind him, closes his eyes and wills his heart not to stop when Rodney whispers back softly, “I wish that was enough.”


	51. Bloodlust

Rodney shoved past Teyla and Ronon into the dimly lit cavern, the stench of sweat and blood and fear suffocating him as his eyes adjusted to the change in light. His stomach rolled when he saw John. Long, lean body spread helplessly on the cold stone altar; naked except for the bruises coloring his skin black and blue, the blood streaking it a rusty red and leaving a phantom coppery taste in Rodney’s mouth.

John’s face lax, his pale skin shadowed by the still upraised hand of the village shaman, the dagger still smeared in John’s blood poised dangerously above John’s heart. 

Rodney’s vision grayed, blood rushing in his ears, blocking everything out except the two men in front of him until he felt Teyla’s cool fingers curling around his wrist, gently but insistently lowering his arm, pulling the gun from his unresisting fingers. Blinking, Rodney watched Ronon lift John’s unconscious body from the altar and then he turned, leading them all back towards the jumper and home.  
___

A week later Rodney stood on one of Atlantis’ balconies, staring out at the rolling waves surrounding them, knuckles white around the railing. He heard the door hiss open, turning his head to see John, still much to pale, stepping outside. They hadn’t yet talked about what happened on the planet, John not quite recovered and Rodney not quite ready. 

Rodney’s eyes watered as the memory of that room flashed through his mind, John’s body so still and lifeless; the determination in the shaman’s eyes. His bottom lips quivered involuntarily and Rodney said, “I’m not sorry.” Lifting his chin, daring John to tell him what he did was wrong.

John took another step, moving behind Rodney and wrapping his arms around Rodney’s waist, pressing a quick, dry kiss to Rodney’s temple as both their eyes stared out at the fading Atlantis suns. 

He didn’t need to say anything.


	52. Stimulus

Rodney panted, eyes squeezed shut, "Okay this is really uncomfortable." John had decided they should try a little light bondage and had bound Rodney's wrists to the bed--which was fine; Rodney had no problems with that. When John brought out the straps, spreading Rodney's legs, pushing them towards his chest and securing him to the headboard at the knees--well, Rodney was up for new experiences but when they caused permanent back damage...

When he felt the first flick of John's tongue he gasped, trying to jerk his hips up and failing thanks to John's proclivity for buckles and straps and knots, "Oh my--" Rodney's voice gave out when he felt John's tongue pushing insistently until the ring of muscle relaxed and John's tongue was inside him.

"John...fu--" Rodney moaned when John pulled back.

"Do you want me to stop?" John grinned, knowing Rodney's answer before he even asked. He circled Rodney's loosened hole with a slick finger, slipping inside, opening Rodney even more when he pushed a second finger inside. "You look so fucking hot like this, spread wide open for me," John said in a deep, throaty and absolutely sexy voice; Rodney's cock twitched.

Rodney whimpered when the third finger pressed inside, head thrashing as John curled his fingers with each thrust in, pressing against Rodney's prostate leaving his cock feeling full and heavy as it left a slippery trail against his stomach.

"I bet I could make you come just from this," John growled, sucking Rodney's nipple into his mouth, never letting the rhythm of his fingers sliding into Rodney's body stop. "Or I could suck you off," John's eyes twinkled when he placed a kiss to the tip of Rodney's cock.

"Oh god, yes--yes that would--"

"Or maybe I'll fuck you," John continued. "Make you feel me for days—every time you move--when you walk...when you sit...when you--bend over..." John added a fourth finger and Rodney cried out, no longer caring what John did as long as he just fucking did it already. 

John kissed the inside of Rodney's thigh, trailed his tongue along the crease at Rodney's pelvis, his fingers curling and pushing, sparking off wave after wave of fucking fantastic sensations right to Rodney's dick. "John..."

"We have all night, Rodney," John whispered against his neck, "maybe I should see how many times I can make you come?"

"Once...would be...nice," Rodney ground out as he tried to thrust up again--again being held firmly in place by John's handiwork.

"Impatient are we?" John asked innocently, smirking at Rodney's scowl.

"Who knew you were such a...cock-tease!" Rodney yelped when John's teeth dug into his collarbone, tongue quickly soothing the sting before his lips covered the spot as he began to suck. He smiled at the large red circle, marking Rodney as his. 

Rodney gasped at the loss of John's fingers, biting his bottom lip when John slid into him with ease. John braced his hands on either side of Rodney's head as he thrust harder and deeper into him, his eyes never leaving Rodney's face as each tag of his prostate brought him closer to the end.

Rodney's mumbled words of 'fuck yeah', 'right there', 'harder!' drove John on until finally he felt the warmth of Rodney's release spreading between them, Rodney's muscles squeezing John's cock until all it took was one last thrust for John to join Rodney as he free fell into orgasm.

John grinned as Rodney bitched and moaned when John released him--complaining of permanent back injury and sadistic lovers but then he was on his back, Rodney pressing him deeper into the mattress, his tongue mapping John's mouth before he pulled away, eyes still dark with desire. "Next time I get to tie you up." John just slid his fingers into Rodney's hair, tugging him down until their mouths were pressed together once more.


	53. Gentleman of Pleasure

Rodney regretfully stuffed a roll of bills into the front pocket of John’s jeans. They’d been doing this a while now, quickies whenever Rodney could pull himself away from his work and whenever John wasn’t already with another ‘client’, but it never got easier saying goodbye to him. The more time Rodney spent with John, the less he wanted to see him go back to his life; turning tricks for profit. Basically all the perverts in the city seemed to get their rocks off by paying John to do dirty and depraved — and totally hot — things to them, or by doing those things to John. Rodney was not a man who enjoyed sharing.

“You could stay, you know,” he said casually as he watched John pull on the too tight t-shirt that he’d found an inordinate amount of pleasure in peeling off him earlier.

John’s head popped through the neck hole and he smirked. “I could—but you’re a penny pincher and I’ve got another client.”

Rodney frowned. “Considering the bulge in your pocket, I don’t think it’s fair to call me a penny pincher.”

John laughed and leaned over, pressing his mouth to Rodney’s for a quick kiss. “Gotta go.”

Sighing loudly, Rodney nodded and waved John towards the door. “Lock it on your way out?”

“You bet.” John grinned and winked before grabbing his bag and sauntering towards the door. “I’m free tomorrow night,” he threw over his shoulder, not waiting for Rodney’s answer, as no doubt he already knew what it would be.

After pulling on a pair of baggy sweat pants, Rodney sat down in front of his laptop. He had a plan to concoct. 

____

“How much do you make in a year?” Rodney asked, licking a stripe from John’s navel to his right nipple before capturing it between his teeth and grinning when John arched into the slight pain.

“Isn’t that kind of personal?” John gasped. Rodney’s hand trailed down John’s stomach; making John twitch in anticipation as his index finger traced a feather light line from the base of his cock to its tip and back again.

“Call me curious,” Rodney murmured against John’s neck.

John wrapped his arms around Rodney, pulling him on top of him, as he thrusted up into Rodney’s hands. “Oh you know,” he said breathlessly, “a million, give or take — before my sixty percent.”

Rodney grinned. He knew John was lying but that didn’t matter. A million was a good place to start. “How long do you think you can keep doing this?”

John moaned. “I’ve still got a few hours left.”

Rodney chuckled, slipping his tongue into John’s mouth. When he pulled back he stared into John’s eyes, hand firmly wrapped around John’s cock, squeezing in an irregular rhythm that had John writhing underneath him. “I meant, how long will you keep doing _this_ — how many years do you still have in you?” 

John frowned, his eyes were glazed but Rodney could see him fighting—trying to figure out why Rodney was drilling him. Then Rodney flicked his thumb against the bundle of nerves at the base of John’s cock head and his eyes rolled up, head thrown back as he clawed at Rodney’s back with dull nails. “Fuck!” 

John was panting now and Rodney liked keeping him right on the edge. “How long?”

Groaning, John bucked his hips, trying to get Rodney’s hand moving again. “I don’t know,” he bit his lip, “ten years?”

Rodney smirked, lowering his mouth to John’s and rubbing his thumb in lazy circles on the tip of John’s dick. He didn’t think John would keep doing this for ten years—knew, in fact, that John was simply squirreling away his money to buy himself a plane, start his own business. But ten years was good enough.

He shimmied down John’s body, swallowing him greedily when John came after a few powerful sucks. Rodney smiled as he pulled away; he always knew just how long to keep John on the edge before finally pushing him over.  
_____

“I want to buy John’s contract.” Rodney slid into the seat in front of Elizabeth’s desk. She was very organized considering she was basically a pimp. 

Elizabeth smiled, somewhat condescendingly. “Rodney…“ She sat back in her high back leather chair. “John brings in a _lot_ of clientele.”

“You mean money.” Rodney’s mouth twitched. She didn’t actually know much about him other than what he told her and most of that was a lie. He’d told her that he worked at a lab, which was true, and that he was struggling to get by, which wasn’t. He had made up an elaborate tale about his job being so stressful, which it was, that he’d saved up to splurge and buy himself a little ‘stress relief’ — which was only a half truth. 

The actual truth was that Rodney owned his own lab, had made a few – very - good investments, and had a side company that he’d bought on a whim one day when he’d been bored and wanted a change. He was in fact worth millions, many, many millions.

“Elizabeth,” Rodney leaned forward, elbows on his knees, “I haven’t been totally honest about a few things—but the only thing you need to be concerned about is my financial situation. I am not a struggling lab rat—and as such—“ he paused, reaching into his breast pocket. Opening the check that he held in his hand, he took a deep breath. It was a lot of money, but looking up at Elizabeth’s curious face, he smiled crookedly. John was worth it. Sliding the check across the table towards her he leaned back. “I want to buy John’s contract.”

Her eyes widened at the zeros on the check, mouth falling open. Then her eyes narrowed and he knew that she didn’t believe the check was good. Rolling his eyes he waved a hand dismissively. “I’m perfectly willing to accompany you to the bank to cash it. It’s real.”

“I…“ Elizabeth shook her head, folding her hands on her desk and biting her lip. “What does John think?”

Rodney felt a little flustered at the question. “Ah—actually, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention it to him. I’d like to tell him myself.”

She nodded, picking the check up and holding it carefully in her hands. “Well,“ she cleared her throat, “if this clears…I can hardly say no, can I?”

He ignored the gleam in her eye; he could practically see the dollar signs floating above her head. The only thing that mattered was John. “Shall we?” He stood and led her from her office and towards the bank, already making his plans for that night.

____

John raised an eyebrow when he walked into Rodney’s place. The lights were dimmed and there were flickering candles everywhere. The table was set up with dinner for two; there was wine chilling, and a fire roaring in the fireplace. Rodney was fidgeting on the large, overstuffed leather couch, watching John warily. Throwing his bag in the corner, John walked over to sit beside Rodney. “This is nice.” He leaned in and placed a chaste kiss to Rodney’s mouth. “What’s the occasion?”

Rodney traced John’s bottom lip with his finger, gazing intensely into his eyes. John didn’t understand why Rodney was being so serious and why he wasn’t trying to drag him into the bedroom _right now_, as usual. He looked back at Rodney, waiting for him to make his move.

After a few moments, Rodney leaned in, pulling John against him and into a deep kiss. John sighed in pleasure as Rodney’s fingers tangled in his thick hair, massaging his scalp. When Rodney pulled back his eyes were wide and his lips damp and bruised from the kiss. John smiled the flirty smile that usually had an incredible effect upon Rodney and his libido.

Rodney stood, stepping away from him. John frowned in confusion as Rodney picked up an envelope from on top of the fireplace.

“I have something for you.” 

John beamed. “I love presents!”

Rodney laughed. He smiled, somewhat shyly, as he handed the thick envelope over to John. Retaking his seat on the couch, he started picking nervously at the sleeve of his shirt.

John curiously eyed the envelope before tearing it open. He unfolded the pieces of paper inside, scanning the documents with brows furrowed. When he flipped the page his eyes widened. “Rodney—“

“I know I didn’t ask,” Rodney interrupted. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“You can’t…” John’s hands were trembling with anger when he lowered the papers to his lap, turning to stare at the man beside him. “You bought me.”

“What?” Rodney frowned. 

John held out the pages. “You bought me from Elizabeth…for, what—to be at your beck and call whenever you wanted someone to fuck?” 

Rodney seemed taken aback at John’s anger. “That’s not—“

“Not what, Rodney?” John demanded jumping to his feet. “Jesus! You fucking—you fucking bought me for…” He waved the papers, his throat suddenly dry. 

Rodney stood slowly, taking a step closer. “I bought your contract, yes.” He grabbed John’s wrist. “I paid Elizabeth ten million dollars—sixty percent of which is yours—and now,” Rodney placed his free hand at the back of John’s neck, refusing to let him pull away. He shook him, staring into John’s eyes. “If you’d flip to the next page you’d see that the contract—your contract—belongs to you, not me.”

John sucked in a breath, his heart stuttering in his chest. Rodney took the pages from his numb fingers, flipping to the last one, and held it in front of John’s eyes. There in black and white and perfectly legal was the document declaring that John Sheppard was a free man. His eyes traveled back to Rodney’s face. “You—“ But he honestly didn’t have any words.

Rodney smiled crookedly. “Guess I’m not such a penny pincher now, huh?”

John barked out a startled laugh, letting the papers flutter to the floor. He grabbed Rodney by the front of his shirt, pulling him flush against him and capturing his mouth in a searing kiss that he hoped said everything that he couldn’t put into words.

Rodney pulled away, panting a little, eyes wide and bright. “You’re not obligated to,” he flailed one of his hands in the air, “that’s not why I did this.”

And John knew that. He knew that Rodney cared deeply about him and that this one act of immense kindness was not done out of any kind of selfish motivation. It just made John want Rodney even more. “Shut up and kiss me,” he murmered.

Rodney looked surprised, and then pleased and grateful and relieved all rolled into one. “I can do that.” He leaned in, running his fingers through John’s hair. His thumb on John’s pulse point, Rodney smiled the most brilliant smile John had ever seen; pressing his lips to John’s and mumbling, “I can do that.”


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ended up finding a bunch more comment fic in my personal journal, however none of these have titles, and are even less beta'ed but half of them I had actually forgotten I wrote so I am throwing them up here so I don't forget about them again. ;)

"Oh shut up, don't look at me like that!" Rodney snapped, his fingers dancing over the keys. "You should be thanking me for once again saving all our asses."

John turned his head, watching as the door opened another few inches. "Oh, I'm grateful, McKay--I've no desire to be stuck in this cave, but..."

"Yes, yes, who knew the Ancients were so..."

"Hollywood?" John supplied helpfully.

Rodney rolled his eyes, fingers slowing as he played the final notes on the alien piano, spinning on the stool to watch as the door opened the rest of the way. "God, now I have the urge to watch that damn movie!"

John grinned as he patted Rodney on the shoulder, leading the way towards the door, "Hey, I hear Chuck the tech sgt. has it on his laptop."

Rodney hmmed before smiling crookedly, "You bring the popcorn."


	55. Chapter 55

"Tell me again why we're here?" Rodney complained, arms crossed over his chest.

John rolled his eyes, staring at the passing scenery out the window of their small cabin. "The Aristans are being kind enough to show us their city, Rodney."

"Yes, yes, I got that, Colonel, thank you. What I meant was why are we stuck on the alien equivalent of a train when we could have just taken a puddlejumper and flown over the city in a fraction of the time?"

John just shrugged, sliding from his own seat across from Rodney to the space beside him. "What does it matter? Think of it as a chance to relax, unwind a little." John's leer had Rodney snorting and rolling his eyes.

"I don't know how you've managed to fit anything else into that brain of yours when sex takes up so much space."

John waved a hand around the room they were in, "We've got the place to ourselves, Teyla and Ronon have their own cabin, there's a door--with a lock. You're telling me you'd rather sit here and complain about how long the tour is taking instead of oh, I don't know," John's hand slid along Rodney's thigh to cup his growing hard on.

Breath hitching, Rodney grabbed John by the front of his vest, pulling him closer, "Good point."

Laughing John waggled his eyebrows, "I've done it on a train."


	56. Chapter 56

"Your cat is fine, Rodney." John smiled patiently.

"Are you sure?" Rodney asked, stroking behind Cat's ears just the way he liked. "Cause he was a Christmas gift from my significant other and I'd hate to think how he'd make my life a living hell if something happened to the hairball."

"I promise." John placed a comforting hand on Rodney's arm. "I even went to vet school and everything," he joked.

Rodney scowled, "Aren't you supposed to be more sympathetic?"

"Rodney," John sighed, leaning in to place a kiss on his lover's lips, "Cat has a furball--he'll be fine."

Rodney huffed, pressed his lips to John's again and picked Cat up off the exam table. "Get milk on your way home."

"Yes dear," John laughed, his eyes on Rodney's perfect ass as he walked to the door.


	57. Chapter 57

"Tell me again why we haven't done this before?" John asked as he drizzled more chocolate over Rodney's cock.

Rodney's fingers were fisted in the sheets, eyes closed as he waited for John's mouth, his tongue..."Because you were too busy with the newest alien bimbo of the week?" Rodney ground out as he cracked an eye open. "Can we get to the licking, and the sucking, already?"

"I don't know," John frowned in contemplation. "I think I've been insulted."

"Please," Rodney scoffed, "it's hardly my fault that you were blinded to my many charms, and stellar sexual prowess, by a few too many glowing ancients."

"Stellar sexual prowess huh?" John leered, leaning down to lap at the drop of chocolate sauce running down the underside of Rodney's cock.

"Fuck!" Rodney gasped, hips thrusting up. "Okay, maybe your prowess isn't so bad either."

John grinned. "Why Rodney, I'm blushing!"

"Don't let it go to your hea--" Rodney's voice tapered off when John wrapped his lips around Rodney's cock, making sure he didn't miss an ounce of the chocolate.

Rodney's fingers slid into John's hair as his hips worked his cock in and out of John's mouth. Coming with a shout, Rodney collapsed back onto the pillow. "Fuck--" he panted, "I think I love your mouth."

John leaned over him, finger teasing Rodney's hole, lips millimeters away from his lips. "Just my mouth?"

Rodney wrapped his leg around John's hip, pulling him closer and pressed their mouths together.

John felt exactly the same way.


	58. Chapter 58

"Did you hear something?" John asked, swinging his P90 to and fro, lighting the dark recesses of the cave he and Rodney were exploring.

"There's nothing here, Colonel. The scanner shows our life signatures are the only ones present."

"That doesn't mean we're the only ones here," John replied, eyes never wavering as he continued to check out the cave.

Rodney opened his mouth, his scathing reply dying on his lips. "Wait--you're right. There could be anything in here. We already know that the Wraith don't show up when they're hibernating, there could be any number of Pegasus Galaxy species that don't register."

"Calm down, McKay," John sighed, glancing towards the scientist. "It sounded more like--cooing."

"Cooing?" Rodney scoffed. "What, like a baby?"

"More like a pigeon."

"A pige--" Rodney was cut off by the girlish scream emanating from John Sheppard as he batted at his hair.

"Get it off! Get it off!"

"Stand still!" Rodney shouted, grabbing John's wrists and yanking them down so he could see what the hell was attacking Sheppard's head.

John stopped moving instantly, back rigid, head bowed as he ground out, "What is it?!"

"Um--" Rodney cleared his throat, trying not to laugh. Reaching out a tentative hand he pulled, snorting when John let out a high pitched squeak. "I--I don't think I can get it off."

"WHAT!?"

Rodney patted the rounded curve of fluff sitting on top of Sheppard's head, chuckling as it began to coo. "Were you a trekkie growing up, Colonel?"

Sheppard's eyes widened.

"Let's just hope the Pegasus version of a tribble is sterile."


	59. Chapter 59

John woke just as the bed dipped behind him, Rodney sliding under the covers, cold feet and hands gravitating towards John's sleep warmed body. "You're late."

"Hello, saving our asses again," Rodney griped, snuggling closer, nuzzling the back of John's neck.

"Fixing the coffee makers doesn't constitute saving our asses Rodney," John whispered affectionately.

"Have you seen what happens to Radek when he's deprived of caffeine? Trust me--I was totally saving our asses."

John turned in Rodney's arms, throwing a leg over Rodney's hip, "In that case, maybe I should be thanking you for saving our asses yet again."

Rodney grinned, fingers stroking the small of John's back as he nodded, "Definitely."

Leaning in, John pressed a lazy kiss to Rodney's lips, arms tightening around his lover,"Goodnight, Rodney."

"Hey!"

John buried his face in Rodney's neck, breathing deeply, "Tomorrow--I'll thank you tomorrow."

Rodney kissed John's shoulder, smiling and murmuring, "You bet your ass you will," before closing his eyes and relaxing into sleep.


	60. Clandestine

Pressure, pushing him back farther into the wall; he can feel each press of Atlantis' intricate designs into his back; marking him. Fingers slip into the waistband of his pants, under his shirt, leaving his skin tingling at the contact. Lips cover his as a gasp escapes, quickly turning into a moan with an upward stroke.

They have to be quiet, anyone could come in here, could see them. The thrill of possibly getting caught has him thrusting harder into the warm fist around his cock, has him tightening his arms around broad shoulders, desperately intensifying an already passionate kiss.

One of his hands slips between them, deftly undoing buttons and buckles, pushing fabric over strong thighs. His fingers wrap around the hard cock nudging against his hip, his thumb swirling over the tip, spreading the beads of moisture before he slides his fist down, matching his lover stroke for stroke.

He's on the edge, the blood rushing in his ears, throbbing in his cock, spine tingling as he nips at the tongue sliding hard and wet into his mouth—then it's gone. His lover pulls away, releasing his cock and he can't stop the whimper of protest. He opens his eyes to stare into mischievous blue ones.

With a devious grin his lover is falling to his knees and he squeezes his eyes shut concentrating on not coming this very second because he wants that wicked mouth wrapped around his aching cock when he comes. Strong hands grab his hips, fingers digging in enough to bruise and it's so good, so fucking good when hot, wet heat surrounds his cock and he's thrusting, pushing deeper, faster, harder and in a blinding moment of pure ecstasy he's coming in thick, hot spurts, biting his bottom lip to stop himself from crying out his release.

Throat muscles contract around him, milking every last drop, leaving him shaking, exhausted and sated. He reaches down blindly pulling his lover back to his feet, wrapping his fingers around the back of his head, into dark, soft hair and drawing him into a kiss. Nipping and sucking, breathing him in while his lover promptly begins to thrust against his hip, grinding into him with an urgency he can feel in the hands pulling him closer, the puffs of heated breath on his neck, teeth grazing his collarbone and he reaches out, grabs his lover's ass, pulling him flush against his own body.

Whispered words of encouragement fall from his lips urging his lover ever closer to orgasm; while he presses his lips to the skin behind his ear, to his neck, shoulder, leaving his own marks on skin he can taste in his dreams.

Lips to his lover's ear he breathes, "Come for me," in a husky voice, holding on tighter as his lover gasps, bucking once more before spilling his release between them leaving them both sticky and satiated. A drowsy kiss and they're pulling apart to clean themselves off and straighten out clothes before leaving the shadowy storeroom, their secret left in the darkness behind them.


	61. Chapter 61

He was sure that the Major was doing it on purpose, trying to kill him or at the very least embarrass the hell out of him because as he sits there, staring across the mess at the man he can feel a flush creeping up his body from his toes. He pulls his eyes away pretending to read the report in front of him but his eyes keep getting drawn back to the man who looks like he's auditioning for a part in Atlantis' very first porn flick.

He watches in fascination as John's tongue slips out licking the chocolate coated spoon in his hand, and if he didn't know better he could almost swear that the Major was looking at him with that annoying little smirk that said he knew something--something you didn't really want him or anyone else to know. The spoon slides past the Major's lips, being slowly--much too slowly--pulled out and then he's licking his lips and Rodney finds himself doing the same in response. It's at about that moment that he realises he needs to get the hell out of the room before he really embarrasses himself.

He stands quickly, gathering his papers and spares a quick glance at the Major before making his escape. Hazel eyes are staring intently at him, a look of contemplation in them that makes Rodney's heart beat faster. Hurrying towards the door he tells himself he really has to stop being so fucking obvious or the Major won't even need contemplation to understand exactly what is on Rodney's mind.

He heads not for his lab but his quarters, thinking that a cold shower might just be what the doctor ordered. There was nothing pressing in the lab that needed his attention at the moment--besides the rather inconvenient hard on he was sporting was currently demanding his attention more than one of the Ancient's doohickies.

Seeing his door in sight he breathes a sigh of relief. The relief is short lived as he feels a hand grab his arm turning him around. His eyes widened in surprise as he looked into the smiling face of Major Sheppard.

"Major, can I help you?"

The grin on his face sends a thrill through McKay's body. "No, but I think I can help you with...something." Rodney gasps as John's hand skims over his crotch, gently cupping his erection.

John's hand clamps around his arm again, leading him towards his room. When they're inside Rodney's brain finally starts working again and he begins stuttering, sounding far too flustered for his own liking but then John is taking off his shirt and all coherent thought leaves Rodney high and dry again.

When John is standing naked in front of him the folders he was still clutching protectively to his chest slip soundlessly from his hands, scattering across the floor.

He'd imagined this moment numerous times over the months he had lusted after his best friend, but in all of his fantasy he managed to be a more participating...participant. John was divesting him of his clothes and he was still standing there, utterly mute, letting the man strip him, gasping when hands touched sensitive skin and lips ghosted over his neck and shoulder.

"Rodney?"

His eyes were closed--he doesn't remember when that happened--but he manages to open them, staring in confusion at John. "Huh?"

John smiles and takes his hand leading him towards the bed and again his brain decides to kick in--"What are you--wait..." John pauses beside the bed looking at him patiently. Rodney takes a deep breath. He wants to ask a lot of things but the only words that come out are a painfully hopeful "Are you sure?"

John draws him closer, slipping a hand behind Rodney's head, pulling him into a gentle kiss full of passion and promise. Rodney pulls away a little breathless and grins, pushing John onto the bed and straddling his hips. He leans down, kissing, nipping and licking John's skin, reveling in the taste and in the way John makes breathy little moans when Rodney's lips touch him.

As he nips a path down John's body, moving lower and ever closer to his goal he kisses John's hip bone a smile pulling at his lips.

"What?" John asks with a slight gasp.

"I was just thinking what a shame it was that there's no chocolate syrup on Atlantis."

John's chuckle quickly morphed into a moan as Rodney engulfed him...who needed chocolate syrup?


	62. Chapter 62

It was at moments like this that he almost wished he wasn't the smartest man in this galaxy he thought as he stared at the gun being pointed at him. His genius was something he had learned to rely on, be proud of but he was starting to believe maybe he should stop telling people just how smart he really was cause it only led to them kidnapping him and trying to force him into improving their totally inferior technology--and both Elizabeth and Sheppard frowned on him helping obviously insane people advance.

When he heard the shot he stopped breathing, eyes snapping shut as he waited for the pain to hit. Any minute now he'd be screaming in agony...any minute now...

There was a slight buzzing in his ears that he was sure was the first sign he was dying but then he felt strong arms gripping his shoulders and his eyes popped opened to stare into the very concerned face of John Sheppard.

"McKay, are you alright?"

"M-major?"

John gave a sigh of relief which Rodney thought was wholly inappropriate as he was dying--he could at least show some remorse over that fact.

"We have to go."

Rodney was about to demand what kind of crack the Major was on thinking he could possibly go anywhere when he was in the middle of dying when he saw something from the corner of his eye. There on the floor was the man who had been holding his brain hostage, blood pooling around his obviously dead body. Rodney looked down at himself, hands running quickly over his body looking for the bullet wound he was sure was there only moments ago.

John grabbed his hands, stilling his efforts, "Rodney?"

"I-I'm fine..." He tried to say it with firmness, prove to Sheppard he didn't need coddling but the words had come out sounding both surprised and shaky.

John's hand curled behind his head, his eyes darkening. "Yes...you are. And if you ever scare me like that again I will personally shoot you." The harshness of the words were most definitely softened by John's lips--lips that were now on Rodney's. His first thought was 'Oh god I'm already dead' followed quickly by 'Is that Major Sheppard's tongue'? He found himself wrapping his still shaking arms tightly around John's body pouring everything he had into the kiss--passion, love, gratitude.

When they finally pulled away from one another, their lips swollen and red, their faces flushed and eyes sparkling John wrapped his fingers gently around Rodney's wrist with a little tug, "Come on--we really have to go."

Rodney nodded and let himself be led towards the Stargate by John grinning happily, his near death experience long forgotten as his eyes slid to John's ass, thoughts of what he was going to do to the man the moment they were alone playing through his mind.

As they neared the door that would lead them outside and to the Stargate John pulled him in for one last desperate kiss before releasing him with a smirk and a wink, "We'll continue this later."


	63. Chapter 63

"We'll be back in a few hours."

"Alright jumper one--have fun." Elizabeth grinned as she watched the jumper flying overheard towards the mainland. Major Sheppard had insisted that both Rodney and Carson get in some practice flying the puddle jumpers and as they weren't scheduled for a mission for another two days she had agreed. Of course getting both Rodney and Carson to agree had been a whole other matter, one she left entirely up to the Major. Whatever he had said worked wonders as both Rodney and Carson were quite cheerful as they headed off towards the jumper bay.

"You lied!" Rodney's voice was shrill and accusing.

"I did not lie!" John snapped. "Look, you both need the practice--you can't deny that." He tried to sound reasonable but knew he failed miserably as both men glared back at him.

"You brought us here on false pretenses, Major." Carson spoke quietly, the Scottish burr sending shivers down John's spine.

"I told you we'd have sex--and we will, just...not until you both have had some practice flying." They were glaring again and John let out a frustrated sigh. "I just need to make sure you both know what you're doing...if something happens to me, you both have to be able to fly the jumpers." It was a low blow he knew--he didn't want either man worrying about him, but everything he said was true. Rodney frowned and Carson looked like he'd been slapped and John really hated himself at that moment but he kept telling himself it was for the best. They needed the practice.

He flew them towards the spot on the mainland he had chosen for them to practice, glancing at his two lovers from the corner of his eye. Rodney was sitting in the co-pilot seat and Carson was standing behind him, hands on Rodney's shoulders, his thumbs caressing the skin under Rodney's shirt. John swallowed hard, this wasn't a good time to let himself get distracted. But he kept glancing back, watching as Rodney leaned into the touch, as he swiveled in his seat, as Carson lowered his lips to Rodney's.

John gripped the controls of the jumper a little tighter, forcing himself to concentrate on what he was doing--it wouldn't do to crash the jumper and have to explain to Elizabeth that he'd been distracted because Rodney and Carson were making out.

When he heard a zipper being opened his eyes darted back to the two men who were completely ignoring him. Carson's hand slipped under Rodney's shirt as Rodney's hands fumbled blindly for Carson's pants. Oh god. Then they were moving, still locked in a kiss and backing their way into the rear part of the jumper shedding clothes on the way. John forced his eyes to stay fixed in front of him, tried to ignore the way his dick twitched with every moan and gasp that escaped the two men behind him.

Finally giving in he turned in his seat a low moan escaping his lips as he watched Carson rocking deeper inside Rodney while Rodney's hands stayed firmly planted against the jumper wall. He couldn't take it anymore, setting the jumper to auto pilot and moving towards his lovers in the same breath. Stripping his clothes off he placed a kiss on Rodney's shoulder, running a hand down his naked chest. Turning his head he pulled Carson into a deep kiss slapping him on the ass causing his lover to yelp.

"You two don't play fair," he whispered hoarsely, his fingers curling around Rodney's length while he kissed the smirk from Carson's lips, all thoughts of flying forgotten.


	64. Chapter 64

"I'm sorry, Rodney but I have no idea what you're talking about--help me out here."

"Everett spoke to her, about us. Seems he's heard some rumors--two guesses who was singing in his ear the minute the Wraith threat was gone."

"You think Kavanagh..."

"Of course--Calvin's been itching to try and get you ousted from ranking military officer ever since he found out about the three of us--not to mention the fact that he's been after my job since before we even stepped through the Stargate."

John sighed, "What did Elizabeth say?"

"What could she say? She told Everett he'd have to talk to us if he wanted to know anything about our personal lives. It's hardly Elizabeth's place to admit that you've broken--have been breaking--the whole 'don't ask, don't tell' thing for months now."

"I don't really give a shit what Everett thinks," John groused, flopping on his bed, throwing an arm over his eyes.

"John, both Rodney and I agree that the most important thing here is your career. We're not about to let you sacrifice it."

"So...you want to start lying about our relationship?" John asked, hurt evident in his voice. "Or are you saying you want to put a stop to it all together?"

"Of course not!" Rodney and Carson both answered in unison, each slipping onto the bed on either side of John.

John sighed as his lovers wrapped their arms around him, "I'm only going to say this once--I've spoken to Elizabeth about this...before Everett even got here."

"You did?"

"Rodney, let me finish?"

"Sorry."

"I told her that if it came down to it I choose the two of you over the Air Force and don't even try to argue with me." He quickly added, cutting off the protests from both men. "Elizabeth told me she would accept me on her team as a civilian if that's what it came to and I'd be perfectly content with that--as long as I still had the both of you."

Rodney leaned in and kissed him while Carson went to work on his neck--all thought of sleep and what was to come with Everett disappearing as he relaxed into the embraces of the two most important people in his life.


	65. Chapter 65

Rodney isn’t sure exactly how it happened. Once second he’s walking into his lab to find Vala pocketing a small ancient device, one they hadn’t figured out a purpose for yet, and the next her tongue was down his throat. He’d simply meant to demand she hand over the device, had in fact started to demand it and then she was shoving him against the nearest wall, mouth pressed to his, her tongue doing sinful things that had his cock hard and his knees weak.

When he pulled away for air, his higher brain functions sparked for a moment and he wondered if she’d somehow managed to turn the device on, if it was somehow responsible for Vala’s sudden urge to start playing tonsil hockey with him. But then her hand slid into his waistband and any semblance of higher brain function disappeared in the white haze of pleasure.

It was only later, after they’d been pulled apart by a horrified Sheppard and an amused Radek that Rodney remembered he probably should have said ‘no’. When he pulled the device from Vala’s pocket, watching her eyes clear, her brows drawing down in confusion, he was surprised by just how disappointed he was that it really was the device.

Sheppard looked at him in anger and disappointment and his stomach dropped, remembered awkwardness from the Dorandan fiasco flitting through his mind. But then Vala was hooking her arm in Rodney’s, pulling him to the door with a truly wicked gleam in her eye and all thoughts of Sheppard faded as Rodney’s eyes widened, his mouth grinning crookedly, when Vala leaned in to lick at his mouth.


	66. Chapter 66

“Unbelievable,” Rodney muttered as he stomped towards the fourth floor Physics section in the University library. “How fucking hard is it to shelve one brilliant, astounding, earth shattering physics paper?” Rounding the corner he slammed into a hard chest, looking up and frowning at… “Is that my paper?”

The guy smiled. “Are you Dr. Rodney McKay?”

Rodney rolled his eyes and snorted. “Would I be asking if I wasn’t?”

The guy stuck out his hand. “Daniel Jackson.”

Rodney took the offered hand, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head. “You’re a little old to be a student.”

Daniel chuckled, shaking his head. “Actually I’m a visiting Professor—archaeology.”

“And you’re in the physics section, why?” Rodney asked, folding his arms over his chest.

Daniel’s eyes skated over his chest and arms before returning to his face. “I have a friend that’s an astrophysicist.”

“Ah,” Rodney smirked. “Trying to impress your friend?”

Daniel laughed. “More like trying to understand even half of what she talks about.”

Smiling smugly Rodney tilted his head toward the paper still in Daniel’s hand. “Well you’ve chosen the best the physics section has to offer.”

Eyeing Rodney thoughtfully Daniel took a step forward. “Maybe you’d care to give me a few pointers?”

When Daniel’s tongue slipped out to brush over his bottom lip Rodney’s eyes gravitated toward it, his own tongue mimicking the movement. Nodding his head, he tore his eyes from Daniel’s mouth and grinned. “Well I am the most qualified.”

Daniel’s answering grin had Rodney thinking about those full lips stretched over his cock and his pulse quickened. He led Daniel deeper into the library, thankful he’d had the foresight to keep his Thursday afternoons free. There was a darkened, deserted section of the fourth floor that students rarely visited, filled with outdated journals and periodicals that Rodney thought should have long ago been burned. There wasn’t a sound piece of science in any of them.

Rodney was pleased when Daniel let himself be pushed back against the wall, his lips parting as Rodney’s fingers reached for the button on his slacks. It didn’t take long before Rodney had him in hand, licking at his throat, letting Daniel push himself into his fist. When he dropped to his knees Daniel let out a breathy moan, his hips bucking impatiently as Rodney leaned in, blowing warm air over the moist tip of Daniel’s cock.

The first tentative lick had Rodney groaning as it’d been a shitty week and he needed this, needed to feel the control; needed to feel out of control. He sucked on the head of Daniel’s cock, his hands pressing Daniel’s hips back against the wall, stopping him from thrusting into Rodney’s mouth and the panting, the whispered pleading coming from above had Rodney’s own cock hardening even more. One hand released its hold on Daniel, moving to open his pants, to relieve the pressure.

Daniel’s palms pressed flat against the wall, his head back, mouth open and panting and Rodney wished he could watch, could see the way he was undoing Daniel with his mouth. He wrapped a hand around the base of Daniel’s cock, stroking in counterpoint to the slick slide of Daniel’s dick into his mouth. His other hand slid around Daniel’s hip, urging him to begin thrusting, to start fucking Rodney’s mouth the way the twitching muscles in his thighs told Rodney he was trying so hard to fight. And then he was, one hand curling around the back of Rodney’s head and Daniel was grunting, hips snapping forward, dick brushing the back of Rodney’s throat and he just takes it, closes his eyes and relaxes his throat and takes it.

When Daniel’s other hand curled against Rodney’s cheek, his thumb sliding into Rodney’s mouth beside his cock, Rodney groaned, his own hand reaching for his aching flesh, fisting it in desperation as he swallowed Daniel greedily. But before he could reach his own edge, before he could find relief he felt Daniel pulling at him, urging him to stand up and Rodney went, whimpering when Daniel’s hand curled around his cock.

Daniel’s back was still against the wall and he shimmied down to his knees, his hands clenching Rodney’s hips and Rodney has to brace his arms against the wall to stop his legs from buckling. Then Daniel’s mouth, hot and wet and tight, was surrounding him and Rodney thrusts, desperate to come and not able to care about choking Daniel. But he needn’t worry as Daniel’s hands push him to thrust deeper, faster.

Rodney’s leaning on his arms now, pressed against the wall, his body curled protectively over Daniel. His hips are bucking back and forth, using the mouth Daniel was offering until finally with a shuddering moan, Rodney was coming, filling Daniel’s eager mouth and biting his lip when Daniel swallowed again and again.

Helping Daniel to his feet, Rodney grinned, opening his mouth to Daniel’s insistent tongue. When he pulled back, Daniel’s eyes were sparkling. Quickly tucking themselves back in, Rodney was just about to ask Daniel if he wanted to grab a coffee when a loud, grating voice pierced the silence of the library.

“Daniel! Where the hell are you?”

Rodney raised an eyebrow.

Rolling his eyes, Daniel shrugged. “Jack—a friend…I should probably…,” he motioned over his shoulder and Rodney nodded, snagging Daniel’s shirt and pulling him in for a quick kiss.

“Go--before the librarian catches him.”

Daniel chuckled, leaning in and nipping at Rodney’s lips before striding out of the darkness of their corner saying, “I’m right here Jack. I thought you were going to wait in the car.”

“I got hungry.”

“This is a library, Jack.”

“Okay, fine. I got bored. Why is your mouth all red?”

Rodney grinned.


	67. Chapter 67

“John? John where are you?” William Sheppard searched the upstairs rooms of his home looking for his son. “Dammit John, answer me!” A sniffle from the recesses of John’s closet had Will stopping, reaching carefully for the door. “Son?”

“Don’t!” John’s voice came muffled from the closet, his young voice squeaking as he scrunched himself farther into the darkness. “Don’t touch me!”

“Johnny,” his father soothed. “What’s wrong, buddy?” Will could hear his son’s breath hitching, his own heartbeat quickening in response. “Johnny, are you hurt? Please come out of there.”

“I…I tried to fix it,” John’s adolescent voice said softly, brokenly. “They just…kept coming back.” His voice hitched again and Will knelt, pushing aside the hanging clothes to see his son.

“What are you talking about?” When he touched John’s bare arm, his son flinched away, turning his face to the wall and Will fought the growing desire to simply grab John, shake him and demand to know what was wrong, where he was hurt, what the hell happened—to make it better. “John?”

Taking a shuddering breath, John turned back to face his father, his cheeks tear soaked, his eyes red. Unfolding himself from his huddled position he moved forward, his eyes never leaving his father’s.

Will stood, stepping back, his eyes scanning his child’s body, looking for signs of injury, something to explain why his only son was huddled in the back of his closet like the world was about to end.

And then John stood up.

Silky black wings unfolded from his back, fluttering nervously behind him as he stood there, eyes piercing his father’s…waiting for God only knew what. “Dear God,” Will whispered and saw John flinch as if he’d been hit. Suddenly his son’s eyes were on the floor, his shoulders sagging and the wings that moments ago looked magnificent now looked limp.

Will stepped forward, watching his son’s shoulders tense and reached out a hand. With a gentleness he hadn’t felt since he first held John in his arms, Will Sheppard reached out, fingers lightly skimming over the feathers of his son’s wings.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Will placed a hand on John’s shoulder, shaking him a little to make him look up. “Cool,” he whispered. And with that one word he watched his son transform before him. The worry and fear no longer in the lines of his young face, the slump of his shoulders disappeared as his wings ruffled and John stood up straight…proud.

Will Sheppard didn’t know what was in store for his son…but whatever it would be, his Johnny would soar.


	68. Chapter 68

“What are you doing?”

“Don’t you mean ‘what am I wearing’?” John grinned into the phone tucked between chin and shoulder. Rodney huffed on the other end of the line. “I’m making a cheese sandwich. Why, what are you doing?”

“I,” Rodney began on a sigh, “am contemplating mass murder.”

John snorted. “I think the SGC might be a little upset if you killed off all their best and brightest.”

“You’ve obviously never met any of my minions if you're calling them,” Rodney started but John interrupted.

“I met Sara and...what’s-his-name—Fletcher?”

John could practically hear the eye-roll. “Felger and if he didn’t prove to you the necessity of culling the proverbial herd then I obviously misjudged your intelligence.”

John grinned. “Gee thanks, Rodney.”

There was a pause and then Rodney sighed. “So what are you wearing?”

John laughed, moving the phone to his other ear and leaning against the counter. “Guess you’ll just have to come home and find out.” He hung up the phone before Rodney could respond, knowing he was already delegating to the minions, already halfway to the door.

Finishing the last of his cheese sandwich, John yanked off his boxers (the only thing he’d been wearing) and crawled onto their bed to wait for Rodney.


	69. Chapter 69

"What did you do now?" John asked as he walked into Rodney's quarters, looking around for the man and not finding him. "Rodney?"

"Shut up and give me hand!" Rodney snapped from somewhere to John's right. He walked over, grinning as he found Rodney, flat on his back on the floor.

"Whatcha doin'?"

Rodney cringed, waving a hand in the air towards John. "Help me up."

John frowned. "You called me here to help you up off the floor? I know you don't like exercise McKay but..."

"I threw my back out!" Rodney growled, glaring at John. "I don't need Carson and his cronies traipsing through my quarters like bulls through a china shop. Help me up, I need to go to the infirmary."

John reached out, helping Rodney to his feet, steadying him with an arm around his waist. "How did you manage to throw your back out?"

"I was...well...I--" Rodney stuttered before frowning. He glowered at John's smirk. "It's not important!"

Carson took one look at him when they arrived in the infirmary and sighed, patting the nearest bed. "Colonel, could you help Rodney into bed?"

John smirked again, because he'd love to help Rodney into bed...preferably not in the infirmary.

After giving Rodney a few bottles of pills, muscle relaxants, anti-inflammatories, Carson presented him with...

"A cane?" Rodney said incredulously. "I don't need a cane."

He was semi-bent over where he stood and John shook his head. "Take the damn cane, McKay."

"You take the cane!" Rodney snapped back, starting to move towards the infirmary doors slowly.

John grabbed the cane from Carson and striding towards Rodney, only a few feet from the doors now. "Here." He shoved the cane at Rodney.

Rodney snorted in disgust. "Like I told that witch doctor, I don't need a cane. I need pills and heating pads and my nice comfortable bed."

John leaned in close, whispering in Rodney's ear. "Want some company?"

Rodney's head snapped up and he whimpered at the pain. "Bastard!" John just grinned. Rodney narrowed his eyes. John twirled the cane once, twice, before holding it out to Rodney. Rodney huffed an exasperated breath before snatching the cane, thumping quietly down the hall toward his quarters.

When they got to Rodney's quarters, John followed him in. "Pills, heating pads, bed."

Rodney shuffled towards the bed, whimpering again as he crawled onto it, letting the can clatter to the floor. His voice was muffled in the pillow when he answered. "You're lucky you're so pretty."

John just smiled.


	70. Chapter 70

“Stop fidgeting!” Rod snapped, slapping a hand over John’s bouncing knee. “You’re making me nervous.”

John scowled. “Why are we doing this again?”

Rod smirked, looking at John fondly before returning his eyes to the road. “We’re doing this because I want you to meet my sister.” He squeezed John’s thigh, reassuringly. “And because Jeannie had a long list of threats if we didn’t do this.”

John snorted but covered Rod’s hand with his own, twining their fingers together as he watched the streetlights come on, one by one as they zoomed by. “What if she doesn’t like me?”

“What’s not to like?” Rod said with a leer, his eyes roaming over John’s body causing John to blush. “Trust me, she’ll love you.”

\--

“So,” Rod said quietly, sipping his coffee, hip pressed against the counter in Jeannie’s kitchen. John was in the living room with Caleb, making small talk. “What do you think of him?”

Jeannie had her own mug of coffee and was sitting on the counter. She didn’t say anything for a moment, eyes narrowed as she scrutinized her brother. Finally she shrugged, a crooked smile tugging at her lips. “He’s nice.”

“Nice?” Rod said incredulously. “That’s it, just nice?”

Jeannie hummed for a moment before grinning. “He’s pretty hot too.”

Rod snorted.

“Seriously though,” she said softly, reaching a hand out and placing it on Rod’s arm. “Does he make you happy?”

With a crooked grin of his own, Rod ducked his head. “Yeah, yeah he does.”

“Then what’s not to love?” she laughed, hopping off the counter. “Come on, your boyfriend and my husband are being much too quiet.”

Stepping into the living room Rod and Jeannie both smiled at their significant others.

“Who’s winning?” Jeannie asked.

“Ssh,” Caleb whispered, never taking his eyes from the chess board in front of him.

“Checkmate!” John crowed, grinning triumphantly.

Caleb sighed in defeat, leaning back in his chair and hooking an arm around Jeannie’s waist, drawing her closer. “I don’t think I like your brother’s boyfriend,” he whispered jokingly.

Rod bent down to press a quick kiss to John’s mouth before standing and smirking at Caleb. “You’re just sulking because John didn’t let you win.”

Caleb pouted and Jeannie laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. She looked across at John who was smiling but obviously a little confused. Stepping away from Caleb she bent down, kissing John on the cheek and whispered in his ear, “Welcome to the family.”


	71. Chapter 71

“Would you stop complaining already?”

Rodney scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. “I was brought here against my will; I have a right to complain.”

John rolled his eyes. “You needed a vacation McKay and it was either this or get sent back to Earth for an entire month.”

“I don’t need a vacation,” Rodney griped. “What I need is to get back to Atlantis, back to my lab and back to my work—which in case its slipped your mind—more often than not saves all our asses on a fairly regular basis.”

John stripped off his shirt and reached for the button on his BDUs.

“What are you doing?” Rodney squeaked, face red and eyes anywhere but where they wanted to be, namely on John’s semi-naked body.

“What does it look like?” John shrugged, pushing his pants down over lean thighs. “I’m going for a swim.”

“You don’t know what’s in there,” Rodney snapped, suddenly forgetting John’s near nakedness for the moment in favor of his safety. “There could be alien piranhas in there for all you know.”

John smirked, reaching for the waistband of his boxers. “The planet has been checked out, McKay—extensively. It’s safe.”

Rodney’s eyes grew wider, watching as John skimmed out of his boxers.

“You coming?” John asked, giving Rodney a knowing look.

Swallowing hard, Rodney reached for his own shirt, his voice muffled when he spoke. “If I get a sunburn--”

“I’ll take care of you,” John interrupted.

When Rodney pulled his shirt over his head, John was right in front of him. “Uh--”

John leaned in closer, a hand curling around the waistband of Rodney’s pants. “I hope you brought enough suntan lotion.”

Rodney grinned, letting his fingers glide over John’s exposed skin. “I can make more,” he promised.


	72. Chapter 72

“Come on Rodney,” John wheedles and reaches out again only to have his hand slapped away.

“How many times do I have to tell you colonel, that you are cut-off?” Rodney growls, rolling to his side, and taking most of the blankets with him.

John huffs and flops onto his back, staring at the ceiling. “It was only a joke,” he mutters darkly.

Rodney’s voice is mumbled but John can still hear him. “Yes, one that could have killed me.”

“I didn’t tell Mitchell to--”

“Threaten me with it?” Rodney sneers. “Oh, well that makes it all better. Oh no wait, it really doesn’t.”

John rolls onto his side facing Rodney, worming his hands underneath the blankets. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, going for his most sincere tone of voice.

Rodney kicks him in the shin and cocoons deeper into the blankets, ignoring John’s yelp of pain. “Goddammit Rodney!” John rubs his shin, scowling at the lump of blankets Rodney’s hiding under. “Fine,” he snaps. “Maybe I should just go back to my room.”

“Maybe you should,” Rodney replies.

John sits up, turning to sit on the edge of the bed. He has every intention of just leaving, going back to his room and letting Rodney get over this total and utter over-reaction but… John scrubs his hands through his hair. It was a stupid joke. And completely unfair to Rodney.

Crawling under the small corner of blanket that Rodney hasn’t wrapped around himself, he shifts until he’s spooned up behind Rodney, not quite touching him. Sighing softly, he closes his eyes, forcing himself to relax. The bed shifts and he opens his eyes to find Rodney staring at him from his blanket cocoon.

“You suck,” Rodney says quietly, his eyes bright and full of hurt.

John nods, shifting a little closer. “I’m sorry,” he whispers back, just as quietly.

Rodney doesn’t answer, just closes his eyes but he lets John crawl into his blanket cocoon, lets him curl close and John knows he’s not off the hook but whatever retaliation Rodney takes for John’s tasteless and hurtful joke, John knows he’ll happily suffer through it just to keep _this_.


	73. Chapter 73

The house was just like Carson had described many times, whenever he was feeling homesick. It was a small white house, a low wall, made of stone, trimming the property, green shutters and a puffing chimney releasing a steady stream of whitish grey smoke into the cool evening air. Rodney smiled as his eyes roamed around the area, it was beautiful; everything Carson had said it was.

The gate was wrought iron, creaking loudly as he pushed it opened. His heart pounded wildly in his chest and his hands felt clammy, he felt sick—maybe now wasn’t the best…

A hand on his shoulder had him standing straighter, taking a deep breath and a step towards the front door.

Carson had always said if they ever managed to find a fully charged ZPM, one that would allow them occasional travel through the gate to Earth, that he’d like Rodney and the Colonel, Elizabeth, even Ronon and Teyla if the SGC would let them, to come to Scotland…meet his Mum…

“I can’t do this,” Rodney’s voice was strained; his throat tightening up painfully like it had been doing off and on since it happened. The hand that was still on his shoulder squeezed briefly and Rodney turned sad, haunted blue eyes towards the warm, understanding hazel ones beside him. “I can’t do this John, I can’t tell his mother that…” He swallowed thickly because how could he tell her that it was his fault her son had died? “I should have just gone fishing with him,” he whispered hoarsely, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

John moved closer, his warmth seeping into Rodney’s clothes, pressing against Rodney’s side. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Taking a shuddering breath Rodney nodded once. Taking another step towards the door he felt John’s fingers curl around his own, squeezing carefully before slipping away. He could do this…for Carson.

Knocking on the door he waited, John a solid presence at his back, for Carson’s mother to answer the door. He dreaded it with every fiber in his being; didn’t want to have to tell her about Carson; didn’t want to have to relive that awful day. And what made it all worse was the fact that he couldn’t tell her the God damned truth. The SGC had given him a copy of their ‘unofficial’ report, the one he was supposed to tell Carson’s mother—died in a lab fire. He couldn't even tell her about all the lives Carson had saved, about the amazing things Carson had done.

Rodney turned away from the door, prepared to run, he couldn’t do this, couldn’t lie to this woman that Carson loved so very much. John stopped him, pulling him into a rough, quick hug. “You can do this, I’ll be right here.”

And then the door opened. “Hello Mrs. Beckett,” John's voice echoed dully in Rodney’s head as he turned him around to face Carson’s mother. “May we come in?”

Rodney would do this…for Carson.


	74. Chapter 74

“What the hell are you doing?” John asked as he stepped into Rod’s quarters, staring at McKay’s ass in the air.

“It’s called the plow pose,” Rod’s muffled voice replied. He was on his back, feet above his head, hands holding his lower back in what looked like a painful position to John. “It stretches the spine, improving flexibility. It’s also good for the thyroid gland, abdomen; eases tension in the shoulders and back and reduces stress.” In an oddly graceful movement, Rod unfurled from his position on the floor to stand in front of Sheppard with a grin.

John crossed his arms over his chest, eyes narrowed. “I didn’t know you did yoga,” he said pouting a little because Rod was an open book as far as John was concerned and it didn't make sense that John didn't know something about him--he knew everything about Rod, made it his business to know everything about Rod.

Rod chuckled, reaching for his bottle of water on the edge of his desk. “How do you think I keep my girlish figure?” he said with a wink. John rolled his eyes. "Not to mention, it makes you very..._bendy_," Rod said with a dirty little smirk and if John didn't know better he'd think Rod was flirting with him.

“You should try it,” Rod continued, replacing the cap on the bottle and leaning against the edge of the desk. “If anyone could do with some stress relief it’s you, John.”

“I’m not stressed,” John snapped defensively, crossing his arms over his chest. And he wasn't dammit, he just had a lot of work to do and it wasn't his fault that the minions the SGC had sent him were utterly useless to the point that he had to double-check all their simulations himself.

Rod took a step forward. “You’re kidding right?” He smirked before stepping around Sheppard and placing a hand on John’s neck. “Jesus, how can you even stand up straight?” He began kneading the muscles, fingers digging into particularly tough spots, grinning when John’s head fell forward to his chest and he let out a soft groan. “Come on,” he said, slapping John on the arm before pushing him towards the bed. “Lay down, I’m going to need some leverage.”

John gave a few token protests about getting back to the lab, about the simulations he still had running, but lay on his stomach when Rod finally just pushed him down onto the bed. Rod straddled John’s thighs, hands immediately returning to work out the knots in John’s neck and shoulders, slowly working his way down John’s back. John tensed for a moment because _fuck_ Rod was straddling him, something he had fantasized about for months now but then Rod's fingers dug in and all thought floated away as John surrendered to those _fantastic_ hands. John groaned when Rod hit the spot on his lower back that had been bothering him for weeks, melting deeper into the mattress, eyes fluttering closed as he completely relaxed.

“Oh God,” John moaned, arching a little into the touch, stretching his arms so that they were at 90 degree angles from his body. “You’ve been holding out on me, Rod.”

“Well if you’d get out of your lab more often...” Rod chided with amusement, stretching out above John, braced on his hands, mouth at Sheppard’s ear, “...maybe I could show you just how _bendy_ I really am.”

John shuddered, swallowing hard. "So," he said a little breathlessly, "yoga huh?"


	75. Chapter 75

They’d just gone into the bank to grab some cash. Joking and laughing, bumping shoulders and enjoying their two weeks on Earth to the fullest extent possible. John planned to take Rodney to a football game; Rodney planned to keep John in bed.

John didn’t even have time to blink; Rodney was stepping in front of him, falling. John’s arms guided Rodney to the floor, pressing on his chest, trying to hold in the blood that was gushing from the gunshot wound. 

A robbery gone bad—as if they ever went well.

John leaned over Rodney, begging him to hang on, telling him that an ambulance was on the way, his voice hoarse from screaming at someone, anyone to call 911. 

There’s blood welling in Rodney’s mouth, choking him as he tried to say John’s name. His eyes are glassy, can’t stop roving, looking for John even when John is mere inches away.

John’s hands are slick and red, slippery when he presses harder, his mouth at Rodney’s ear cursing, telling Rodney he can’t die. He can’t fucking die.

The sirens are wailing in the distance and John whispers to Rodney, everything will be alright; he’s going to be fine; they still have a football game to go to.

When he pulls back to look into Rodney’s eyes, John’s throat closes around the scream. Rodney’s eyes stare blankly, his mouth smeared with blood, a half-smirk on his lips.

John’s mouth is red when the paramedic pushes him away. He doesn’t listen to them as he wraps his arms around his knees, feels the salty trail of tears on his cheeks, silently rocking back and forth. 

They never should have come back.


	76. Chapter 76

Sheppard had been at it for hours, running simulations, checking over his entire team’s calculations and Rod could tell a mutiny was in the works. The evil glares Simpson and even _Kusanagi_ were throwing an oblivious Sheppard were enough to have McKay stepping in and offering a few minutes—he raised his eyebrows at Zelenka’s growl—_okay_, more than a few minutes of distraction. “Got a minute?” Rod asked, crooked grin firmly in place.

“Not now, busy,” Sheppard snapped, not even looking up at Rod as he tapped away furiously at his laptop, biting his lip and squinting at the screen, adjusting the thin framed glasses on his face. 

“You know,” McKay said casually, leaning a hip against John’s desk. “If you didn’t spend so many hours staring at that screen you wouldn’t get so many headaches.”

This time John did turn, glaring at McKay. “What do you want?”

Rod shrugged. “Thought you could use a break.”

“I’m fine,” John said mulishly, returning his eyes to the calculations scrolling across his screen.

“Okay, so I thought your team could use a break.” McKay smirked as Sheppard tensed at the implication.

“They’ll get a break when I say they can have a break,” John growled through clenched teeth.

Rod leaned over Sheppard’s desk, propping himself on his elbows. “You do remember _I’m_ the CSO, right?”

Sheppard’s shoulders hunched as he ignored McKay’s comment, fingers picking up speed on the keyboard, obviously settling in again without any intention of taking a break. 

This called for drastic measures—luckily McKay always came prepared. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a bar of Hershey’s milk chocolate; chuckling as not only Sheppard but at least a half dozen of the other scientists in the room snapped their eyes to the bar in Rod’s hand. The science department was notorious for running through Atlantis’ chocolate supply mere hours after the base was restocked.

“Is that…?”

“Real chocolate?” Rod said with an innocent smile. “Yup.” Sheppard’s eyes followed the bar as Rod moved it from hand to hand. “Well,” McKay sighed, “since you’re busy, I guess my chocolate and I will just have to find someone else to take a break with.” He shrugged, sliding the chocolate back into his pocket and taking a step towards the door.

“You’re not playing fair.” John frowned, already shutting down his laptop, pushing away from his lab table.

“What’s the fun in playing fair?” Rod asked with mock bewilderment, grinning when Sheppard just rolled his eyes and followed him (and the chocolate) out of the lab.

\--

“Oh _god_,” Sheppard moaned, mouth full as he passed another piece of the bar of chocolate between his lips, letting it melt on his tongue. 

Rod chuckled, shaking his head. “Who knew chocolate was so _pornographic_?”

Sheppard grinned at him through half-lidded eyes. “You’re just lucky I’m so easy,” he rasped, grin widening when McKay’s eyes darkened with a familiar lust.

Rod leaned in, eyes on John’s lips before licking away a smudge of chocolate from the corner of his mouth. “You had a…” McKay waved his hand towards Sheppard’s quirking lips. Reaching up he gently removed John’s glasses, folding them carefully and slipping them into the hard-shelled case John always kept in his pocket.

He leaned in again, nipping at John’s lower lip before deepening the kiss, chasing the lingering flavor of chocolate from his lover’s mouth. Rod pulled back again, leaning a shoulder against the wall and grinned. It had taken months of him enticing and wheedling John before he finally agreed to do anything even remotely sexual outside the confines of their quarters.

McKay had always been adventurous when it came to sex and semi-public sex was just one more thing on his long list of kinks (a list he was slowly working his way through with John). And now, after months of coaxing, Rod was finding out that maybe John had a few kinks of his own.

Taking a step back, John placed the final piece of chocolate in his mouth, watching Rod’s eyes widen before sliding to his knees and reaching for Rod’s BDUs. Making fast work of each of the buttons, he pulled Rod’s quickly thickening cock out, stroking it to full hardness, his eyes on Rod’s.

McKay whimpered, head thumping back against the wall he was leaning on when Sheppard took the head of his cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hard shaft, sliding the piece of chocolate along Rod’s length, pressing it into the sensitive bundle of nerves under the head and moaning in pleasure when McKay’s hips started a stuttered push and pull in and out of Sheppard’s mouth.

“Oh god,” Rod moaned, biting his bottom lip and burying his fingers in John’s unruly hair, panting. “Remind me…_fuck, do that again_…remind me to…_god, yeah_…distract you more _often_.” He arched away from the wall, his breath frozen in his throat; eyes squeezed shut as his orgasm rolled through him, John swallowing ever last drop before letting Rod’s softening cock slip from his mouth. 

John climbed to his feet, leaning in and capturing Rod’s mouth in a deep kiss, tongues dueling for dominance. Nipping McKay’s bottom lip, Sheppard pulled back with a mischievous grin. “Bring more chocolate and you can distract me any time you want.”

Shoving John against the wall and going to his knees, Rod pressed his cheek to John’s stomach, fingers curling around the waistband of his pants. “I wonder,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the skin just below John’s belly button, grinning at the hitch in Sheppard’s breathing as he slid pants and boxers down over slim hips. “If chocolate makes you this…_agreeable_…” he swirled his tongue over the head of John’s cock, giving it a slow, hard suck before releasing him, looking up through down-turned lashes, “…what would you do for the bag of Jamaica Blue Mountain I’ve got stashed in my room?”

“_Oh god_,” John breathed, palms flat against the wall. “Let’s find out.”


	77. Chapter 77

“The rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated,” Nick Lorne chirped with a grin, bouncing on the balls of his feet. David Parrish scowled, arms folded over his chest, but Nick could still see a tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth and knew he was fighting a smile. “Come on,” he winked. “It had to be said.”

“That’s not even remotely funny,” David snapped, but it lacked bite, his arms slowly lowering to his sides as he stepped forward. “You were dead,” he said seriously, his eyes looking haunted and Nick reached out, curling a hand around David’s wrist.

“Really wasn’t,” he said softly.

“We all thought…I thought,” David continued, his eyes going distant and Nick moved closer, his free hand going to David’s waist. “McKay came to tell me,” he said, his voice going a little hoarse. “He brought your dog tags, I didn’t…” David shook his head and turned his eyes to Nick. 

Nick and David were an open secret in Atlantis, much like Sheppard and McKay were. The fact that David was given Lorne’s tags wasn’t a surprise; that it was McKay giving them to him was. “McKay?”

David’s lips quirked into a half-smile and he nodded. “He was…nice—it was very disconcerting.” Nick laughed. “I don’t know if I can go through that again,” David said suddenly, stepping back and away from Nick’s touch.

“David--“ Nick started but was quickly cut off as Parrish began pacing the room. 

The first thing Nick did when he got back to the city, after being poked and prodded by Beckett and after the debriefing with Weir had been to find David. He didn’t have to look far; David was in his room, standing at his window, staring out at the setting sun. His shoulders had been slumped and he jumped at the sound of the doors whooshing shut behind Lorne.

“No, Nick,” David said resolutely, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Nick felt his stomach drop. He hadn’t expected this thing between him and David, hadn’t expected that it would become something more than fuck-buddies but now, standing here and watching it slipping away… “I don’t get a say in this?”

David stopped at the quiet question, turning to face Nick. “I--” David stuttered for a moment and then wrapped his arms around himself, dropping his gaze to the floor.

“I don’t want to lose this…us,” Nick said softly, his hands clenching at his sides, itching to reach out and pull David to him.

“I don’t want to either,” David admitted with a small smile. “But,” he started and then sighed, closing his eyes. “I don’t know what I’d do if you died. When Rodney showed up, when he said they’d found your body... I froze. My mind went blank and I couldn’t even ask what happened. I just stood there with your dog tags in my fist and I…” David’s breath hitched and Nick went to him, wrapped his arms around him and held on.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, feeling David trembling in his arms. “I’m fine.”

David pushed him away, shaking his head. “No, it’s not okay.” He walked towards his desk, shaking hands reached out and Nick swallowed when David held out the blackened tags. “I’m sorry.”

Nick held his hand opened, let David drop the tags onto his palm. Then David was brushing past him and out the door before Nick could stop him. “_Fuck_.”


	78. Chapter 78

“Well this sucks.” Beside him Cadman snorted. “No, really,” Lorne continued. “This is possibly our worst mission ever.” 

They’d been ambushed the moment they stepped through the gate. The natives shot each of them with a small dart filled with something that knocked them out before they had a chance to do more than walk down the three steps from the gate platform. Lorne’s last coherent thought was _oh shit_.

“I think that’s exaggerating a bit Sir,” Cadman replied with a grin, wiggling in her bindings in another attempt to free herself. “Remember 7X3-599?”

Lorne grimaced. “I’ve been trying to block it from my memory.” 

“I never would have guessed you could move like that…and in a grass skirt no less.” Cadman teased.

“Thank you Lieutenant, that’s more than enough reminiscing.” Lorne muttered, straining uselessly against the ropes around his wrists.

Cadman continued, ignoring him. “Parrish was pretty impressive too,” she said, laughing softly to herself. “And the way the natives took to him.” 

Lorne clenched his jaw. The natives had taken to David alright, so much so in fact that they’d wanted to keep him. The chief’s daughter in particular had her eye on him and after a horrible three hours of negotiating Lorne had finally broken down and lied. He told the chief and his daughter that he and David were together, ignoring the way David had turned beet red, flushing brightly while stuttering out his agreement. Slipping his arm around David’s waist, Lorne had pulled him closer and smiled apologetically at the obviously disappointed young woman but he had no intention of giving up the botanist to some alien floozy.

Of course then they demanded proof and Lorne had no choice but to grab David and _kiss_ him. Not that he minded, he’d been thinking about it for months by that point. David however, had frozen, stalk still, when Lorne pressed their mouths together and all Lorne could think was _we are so fucked_. But then David’s arms curled around Lorne’s waist, jerking him closer, _much_ closer as he opened his mouth, welcoming Lorne in, deepening their kiss.

Jerking his arms in frustration, Lorne thumped his head back against the wall of their cell. He really didn’t need to be thinking about David right now.

“The look on Parrish’s face,” Cadman said lightly, turning towards Lorne. “It was priceless when you told them of your undying love.” 

Lorne could feel her shaking beside him. “Do you think we could concentrate on getting out of this?” he snapped, tugging once again on his bindings and finally felt them beginning to give.

“Sorry Sir,” Cadman replied quickly, marine mask sliding back into place. “Do you think Perez got to the gate okay?”

Lorne sighed. Once they’d all come to, Lorne realized quickly that he, Cadman and Pierce were all bound tightly while Perez had been left crumpled in the center of the room. He’d struggled to try and see if he was okay but before he had the chance to do more than shuffle to his knees, their captors appeared.

One of them knelt beside the prone scientist and had injected Perez with something. Lorne had protested, loudly, but whatever Perez had been given acted like a shot of adrenaline and he bolted upright, eyes wide and terrified. And then the leader of the group before them started talking. 

“Damn aliens and their fucked up rituals,” Lorne muttered. It had been made clear to Lorne and his team that before they would even consider trading with them, or letting them go, Perez was expected to perform a test. A stupid, pointless, possibly life threatening test.

“Sir?” Pierce said softly from the opposite side of their cell and Lorne realized he hadn’t actually answered Cadman’s question.

“Doctor Perez is pretty resourceful,” Lorne responded, hoping it was true. “The rescue team is probably already on the way.”

The natives had demanded that Perez, without any of his gear, was to find his way back to the gate from god only knew where they’d been taken. Something about communing with nature or some crap like that, he was expected to use whatever he found in the forest to help him navigate his way. And if the _gods_ saw fit to allow Perez to survive, _then_ they would be freed and negotiations could begin. Their captors hadn’t said what would happen if Perez _didn’t_ survive. Lorne clenched his hands. 

Their first fucking time on this planet and these _people_ expected Perez to be able to find his way back to the gate through a forest he was only in once…while unconscious. Perez who could get lost in the corridors of Atlantis after two years living in the city, head always somewhere else, barely aware of his surroundings. This was Perez’s first mission off-world too. _Fuck_. McKay was going to kill him if he got one of the man’s scientists killed.

Their cell had one window, high above Pierce’s head and Lorne could see the sky darkening outside. He wasn’t sure how long they’d been held by their captors, or how far away from the gate they’d been taken while they’d all been unconscious. It must have been coming up on at least six hours since Perez was led away to begin their _test_ though and Lorne was starting to get worried.

The cell door opened with a near silent whoosh and four men stepped inside. Three of them wrestled Lorne and the rest of his team to their feet, the third standing just inside the door, watching passively with one hand curled around the hilt of a knife, glinting ominously in the pale moonlight streaming through their window. 

“What the hell is going on?” Lorne demanded.

The man inclined his head, smiling a little crookedly. “I am Siran. If you will calm yourself, Major, I will cut your bindings.”

“You’re letting us go?” Cadman asked incredulously.

The man smiled again. “Your teammate has reached the gate successfully,” Siran said, taking a step towards them. 

Lorne felt a flash of relief wash over him. _Thank God_. He turned and allowed Siran to slice through his bindings. He watched as he did the same to Cadman and Pierce, all three of them rubbing at the raw, abused skin on their wrists. “So now what happens?” 

“Now,” the man said, his smiling growing wide, “we feast.”

They followed him out of their cell and through a darkened alley toward the center of town where they could see a fire glowing brightly. “Where’s Perez?” Lorne asked, moving closer to the man that had freed them.

“Your friend is waiting by the fire,” he answered cheerfully. “Come, we must hurry.”

“Can we get our gear back, Siran?” Cadman asked and Lorne nodded because yeah, he’d feel a lot better with a P-90 in his hand.

“Of course, of course,” was the reply.

They were taken closer to the fire and pointed towards the right where their gear was piled. Lorne grabbed his Tac-vest, thigh holster and guns, while Cadman and Pierce did the same. When they were fully kitted out once more, they turned, eyeing the villagers around the fire. 

“I don’t see Perez,” Lorne said, his voice low. “Keep your eyes out. Let’s find him and get the hell out of here.” Something felt off about this whole set-up.

Lorne received two answering ‘yes sirs’ and he began circling the fire, hands on his P-90. He spotted Siran speaking to a group of young men and moved toward him. “Siran,” Lorne said politely, his jaw clenching, “where is Perez?”

Siran smiled waving a hand to his right. “He is being prepared for the feast, Major.” Lorne looked to where Siran had pointed and felt sick. Perez was tied to a spit, about ten feet from the fire pit, obviously unconscious. 

Lorne’s gun came up, pointing at Siran’s chest. “Untie him,” he barked, quickly tapping his radio. “Cadman, Pierce, we have a problem.”

“Major,” Siran said pleadingly, hands up in a calming gesture. “We know it is often difficult to sacrifice one of your own, but I assure you--”

“No one is getting sacrificed,” Lorne snapped, seeing Cadman and Pierce moving closer from the corner of his eye. “Pierce, cut him down.”

Pierce moved quickly, pulling his bowie knife out and slicing through the bindings holding Perez to the spit, grabbing the man when he slumped to the ground. Pierce’s hand went to Perez’s neck, checking for a pulse and he gave a slight nod to Lorne. He was alive.

_Major Lorne, report._

Lorne smiled, reaching for his earpiece. “Lorne here.”

_You missed your check-in, Major._

“Yes Ma’am. Sorry about that. We’ve run into a bit of a situation.”

_Situation?_

“We could really use a few jumpers and a couple of teams if you could spare them,” Lorne said lightly, his eyes never straying from the man in front of him. “Things are about to get real ugly here.”

_Understood, Major. Back-up is on the way._

“Major,” Siran tries again. “It is an honor to be chosen by the Ancestors…”

Lorne tightens his hold on his P-90, raising it ever so slightly, just enough to have Siran stop mid-sentence. “We’re going to take Perez and we’re going to leave and you’re not going to stop us,” Lorne says, voice low and dangerous. “And no one is going to get hurt.”

Siran actually looks regretful as he shakes his head. “I am sorry Major but we cannot allow you to leave. The sacrifice must be made.”

And then the four of them are surrounded by large, scary looking men with big-ass spears and freaky looking guns pointed at them.

“Perfect,” Lorne mutters.

\--

There’s surprisingly little bloodshed when all is said and done. Sheppard’s team along with AG-4 show up in jumpers and surround the village square with enough firepower to wipe out the entire town thanks to the jumpers’ drones. 

Lorne is the only one that ends up hurt, a graze across his stomach from one of the bid-ass spears, not too deep but deep enough that he’ll probably need stitches and will be out of gate rotation for a couple of weeks.

When things finally calm down in the infirmary and his team slinks off to their own quarters for showers and sleep and Sheppard and McKay disappear after briefing Weir, Lorne is left alone in his small curtained off area, wincing as he tries to find a comfortable spot for the overnight stay his injury earned him.

Around midnight the curtain is pulled aside and David slips in, steps close to Lorne’s bed, worry etched around his eyes and pulling at his down-turned lips.

Lorne’s surprised to see him honestly. David had broken up with him going on three weeks ago now and they’d barely said more than a few words to one another in that time and nothing that wasn’t work related. He doesn’t say anything, watching David warily.

David clears his throat, wrapping his arms tight around his chest, not quite meeting Lorne’s eyes. “Laura told me you were here. Are you okay?”

Nick has a sudden urge to snap out _why the fuck do you care?_ because it’s not like David has done anything but avoid him for the last three weeks. He sighs instead, pressing his head back into the pillows and stares at the ceiling. “I’m fine, Parrish, just a scratch.” It hurts to call him that because he’s been David in Lorne’s head for almost a year now, has always been David whenever they were alone together. But that was before. Things are different now—because Parrish wanted them to be.

Parrish moves closer to the bed, his hands curling around the railing and Lorne is surprised by the anger he sees in his face. 

“Twenty-two stitches is not just a scratch,” Parrish says, and his voice is low and a little hoarse and he looks like he wants to hit something…someone. 

Just as suddenly as the anger appeared it disappears and Parrish sags next to the bed, shoulders hunched and head hung low. “It was suppose to be easier,” he says quietly. 

“What was?” Lorne asks even though he’s pretty sure he knows the answer already.

“Seeing you get hurt, not being able to stop it,” he answers, still not meeting Lorne’s eyes. “It was supposed to be easier…” Parrish shakes his head but doesn’t say anything else.

Lorne gives a bone weary sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. “Breaking up with me doesn’t turn off your feelings, David.”

David finally meets his eyes and the sadness there claws at Nick. “No,” David says softly, “it doesn’t.” 

Nick doesn’t really have anything to say to that so he turns away, wishing it hadn’t taken David so long to figure it out.


	79. Chapter 79

It was their first mission together since Parrish had broken up with Lorne almost two months ago. The mission was a purely scientific one, Parrish and his team were going to get to dig around in the local flora and Lorne and the rest of his team were going to baby-sit. No big deal.

Of course things never worked out like they were supposed to in Pegasus.

***

Lorne stared helplessly as the natives of P9C-3X7 dragged Parrish to the village square, hands tied behind him. The rest of them were all similarly tied, with a guard at each of their backs.

***

Everything had been going fine until Parrish had spotted some purple striped flower that had him practically coming in his pants. The moment he touched it a group of the planet’s natives came swarming from the tree line like a mess of angry bees. Their sting hurt like a bitch too, tiny darts that hit their mark with marksman-like precision. Lorne had just enough time to think ‘déjà vu’ before he blacked out along side Cadman.

They woke up bound and under guard in the village surrounded by angry natives. From what Lorne could make out as the fog from the dart lifted, Parrish had touched some sacred plant and the natives were none too pleased.

David’s pale and scared face loomed into Lorne’s line of sight and his heart started pounding even faster. He struggled to his knees, trying desperately to remember every scrap of diplomacy Weir had tried to beat into their heads as he explained that they didn’t know the plant was sacred, that Parrish hadn’t meant to upset them. All Lorne really wanted to do was snap out that it was just a fucking _plant_ not someone’s wife or husband or kid. He barely managed to bite off the words that wanted to tumble out, sagging a little when the village elder explained that they could make reparation.

And oh what reparation…

***

“Excuse me?” Lorne asked, hands clenching behind him.

“The one that defiled the scared Brigis flower must offer his essence to the gods to ask for forgiveness for his defilement.” The village elder spoke in all seriousness but Lorne couldn’t help but feel a hysterical giggle clawing at his throat.

“And by essence you mean…”

“His seed,” the elder answered and there was that hysterical giggle again. _Jesus_ only in Pegasus would jerking off in front of a crowd of people be considered an act of recompense. And of course, _David_ who couldn’t even jerk off for Nick without blushing ten shades of red was the one expected to drop his pants and take care of business. In front of not only Nick but an entire mob of villagers, not to mention the rest of their team, no less. They were so fucking screwed. 

David was being shoved to his knees in front of some kind of altar slash offering bowl, the ropes around his wrists cut, freeing him. Lorne could see him rubbing at his wrists, his pale skin already flushed in embarrassment. 

Lorne turned to the elder asking, “What if…um…” He bit his lip before lowering his voice. “What if he can’t…?”

Thankfully the elder seemed to understand what Lorne was trying to ask and he nodded. “One of your people may offer assistance should the need arise.”

Oh yeah, they were so, so screwed.

***

David knelt staring at the offering bowl and tried to imagine himself back on Atlantis, in his room and thinking about Nick. He placed shaking hands on the first button of his BDUs and took a deep breath before he began to open his pants. Reaching inside, he pulled his cock free, still soft and completely uninterested in public masturbation ceremonies.

He started stroking himself, slow, the way he liked it, but he remained distressingly soft. Speeding up his strokes, he clenched his eyes shut and tried to imagine the last time he had fucked Nick. 

***

Nick was bent over the desk in his office; pants puddle around one ankle, with his legs spread wide. The door to his office was set to opaque and locked so no one could see or walk in on them. 

David had felt adventurous that day, stripping down until he stood completely naked and hard in front of Nick. Then he proceeded to peel Nick out of his uniform, lips trailing across each newly exposed strip of skin.

When Nick had pushed him away, tearing open a drawer and shoving a tube of lube into David’s hand before bending over his desk and demanding David fuck him, David had almost come right then and there. 

Once he’d managed to get himself under control, he’d taken his time, ignoring Nick’s more urgent demands as he writhed against David’s slick fingers, stretching Nick like they had all the time in the world. 

***

David looked down at his still soft cock in despair. He glanced back over his shoulder, seeing the villagers, the guards still holding the rest of his team…Nick, hostage. He could do this…he _needed_ to do this.

***

Nick turned to the village elder, eyes pleading. There was no way David was going to be able to do this on his own. The elder, nodded toward the guard behind Nick and Nick felt him cut the ropes binding him. He took a deep breath before standing, ignoring the rest of his team and walked to where David was kneeling.

He lowered himself to his knees behind David, placing a careful hand on David’s arm. “Hey,” he whispered.

“Oh god,” David mumbled. “Nick, I _can’t_…”

“It’s okay,” Nick murmured, moving closer. He let his hand trail down David’s arm to curl around David’s soft cock. Nick pressed his chest to David’s back, hooking his chin over David’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” he said again, turning slightly and letting his lips brush David’s neck.

David whimpered, turning his head to press his face against Nick’s neck. “I can’t,” he said hoarsely, letting his hand drop away from his cock.

Nick’s strokes were sure, thumb swirling over the head of David’s cock on each upstroke. “It’s just you and me,” he said, wrapping his other arm around David’s chest and pulling him closer. “Just you and me,” he kept whispering, his eyes on David’s cock. Fuck he missed this, missed David. 

Nick slipped his free hand under David’s t-shirt, palm flattened against the smooth skin of David’s stomach. “Fuck,” Nick muttered quietly. “You’re so hot like this.” He felt David’s cock twitch. “I’ve missed this,” he continued, finger pinching one of David’s nipples. David’s hips jerked forward and Nick could feel him starting to swell in his hand.

“I’ve dreamt of this…” Nick mumbled against David’s shoulder, “…touching you like this again.” David’s cock was hard and heavy in his hand. “Jerked off imaging it was your hand around my cock.”

David was panting now, eyes closed, and Nick watched as David began to thrust into his hand. David’s own hands were clenched in the fabric of Nick’s pants, his head on Nick’s shoulder, throat working as he got closer to the edge.

Nick was hard and aching in his pants, wanting nothing more than to open them and push his cock into the tight warm heat of David’s familiar body. Instead, he pulled his hand from under David’s shirt and turned David’s head, capturing his mouth in an awkward but heated kiss. One of David’s hands came up to wrap around Nick’s head, fingers sliding into Nick’s hair, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. The other hand joined Nick’s around David’s cock, speeding up their stroking until David came with a gasp, coating both their hands and spurting his release into the offering bowl.

***

The natives broke into cheers when David had finally come and Nick watched with amusement as David turned an even brighter shade of red, eyes perpetually downcast.

The rest of the mission was fairly easy after that, the villagers more than happy to show David the plants they were allowed to sample.

When they were preparing to step through the gate, David turned to Nick, face still a little flushed. They were the last two remaining on the planet and Nick raised an eyebrow at David, waiting for him to say something.

David stepped closer, right into Nick’s personal space and grabbed his tac vest, pulling him into a rough kiss before pulling back. His eyes were bright, his cheeks stained red and he wouldn’t meet Nick’s eyes. “Thank you…” he said quietly, twirling his hand in the air, “…for you know.”

Nick nodded thoughtfully. “You’re welcome,” he answered, reaching out to pull David into a deep kiss before releasing him. David’s eyes looked glazed and he stared at Nick’s mouth. “So,” Nick said with a cocky grin. “We good?”

David met Nick’s eyes, searching them, for what Nick wasn’t sure, but whatever he saw must have been what he was looking for because he grinned suddenly and nodded. “Yes, I think we are.”

“Good,” Nick said, grinning goofily before pushing David towards the gate. “Let’s go home—we’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”


	80. Chapter 80

John is lying on his bed, on his stomach, flipping through the same Golf magazine he’s been reading for a month when Rodney walks in. John’s bed, and everyone else’s in Atlantis, had been upgraded on the last few Daedalus runs to something larger and more comfortable than what they’d all been sleeping on for three years, so that John could now lie diagonally with plenty of room to spare. 

Rodney kicks off his shoes, crawling up the bed and turns to lie on his back, his head pillowed in the curvature of John’s lower back. It’s not often they get time for this, just being quiet together; no disasters or invasions to stave off. Rodney closes his eyes and lets the gentle rise and fall of John’s body lull him, his own body relaxing in slow increments with each breath taken and released in time with John’s.

He feels John shifting on the bed and turns his head to the side, watching as John drops the magazine to the floor before he crosses him arms under his head and settles, letting his eyes flutter closed with a contented sigh. Rodney feels himself smile, his own sigh of contentment escaping as he sinks back into the warmth of John’s body. Letting his own eyes fall shut once more, he welcomes the temptation of sleep and the comfort of John’s solid presence beneath him.


	81. Chapter 81

Standing on the balcony over looking the east section of the city he watched the sun set, the water rolling in gentle waves as the wind caressed his sweat soaked skin. The nightmares weren't going away--not that he expected them to any time soon. If he closed his eyes he could still see the blood, still see the look of panic on Rodney's face, and still feel the utter pain of helplessness he felt as he pressed a bandage to his chest seeing it soaked through in minutes. He stared into Rodney's eyes, willing him to understand everything his training was forcing him to deny, to make him understand that he had to survive--John couldn't imagine going on without him.

When Rodney's eyes had slid shut, his breathing slowing... Shaking himself John tried to think of other things. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop the images floating in his mind's eyes, taunting him. He hadn't protected Rodney and because of his failure Rodney paid the price. He closed his eyes, body shuddering against the chill air and the memories of so much blood--so much wasted time.

Arms slipped around his bare chest, holding him tightly, grounding him. 

He laid he head back on Rodney's shoulder saying a silent thank you to whoever was listening that he hadn't lost the person who meant more to him than life itself. 

He sighed happily as Rodney's lips grazed his shoulder before he let himself be pulled back inside. 

Curling against Rodney, laying his head on Rodney's chest, he listened to the steady thump of his heartbeat under his ear and he thought it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard.


End file.
